That's it this... story - and you- are on my favourites. BAM! Done!
Hello! I’m Simply Being, and I’m participating in the Ravenclaw Review Circle. Let me start by saying that I am so glad I clicked on your story. This was absolutely phenomenal, and I hope my review will do it justice!
First, your writing style. You write like a seasoned professional and the words flow easily without being forced. It’s almost poetic: your descriptions are phenomenal, but never carrying on for too long. Like a poet, you know just the right amount of words to use to communicate an image to its fullest effect. I also love your use of one word lines. For example:
They moved feverishly, dancing about as his mind disappeared into a time so long ago when everything was good.
Because Lily was beside him.
This could have easily been one sentence, but the separation adds so much gravity and emotion to this statement. Wise choice!
Your writing style is also very cerebral, which perfectly fits the characterization of Snape. This leads me to characterization…
This story shows that you really know Snape inside and out; I feel like you really understand all of his subtle complexities. For example:
Though some part of him knew it would not aid him, he still sought solace in it, consuming not enough to be drunk, for these were too dangerous of times for his mind to be impaired. No, he did not aim to numb his mind, just his heart.
Even in Snape’s deepest despair, he can think clearly enough to know that he still has to maintain some control. This excellently demonstrates the fact that Snape is never reckless, and cannot bear when he is not in control. That is, with one exception. Speaking of control:
Just so she would smile more, but he would be unable to express it, would be unable to do anything more than let his lips move into a tiny smile and give a nod.
After all, who would want to embark in something that seemed to make people act like idiots?
Despite Snape’s deepest passions, there is always that part of him that will never truly let go. However, there is one person who can allow him to open up: Lily.
These lines demonstrate this:
He wondered vaguely how Lily always managed to make him feel uncollected in such special moments like this and remarkably comfortable around her at any other time.
Great job revealing that the only person that makes Snape feel out of control is Lily—he and loves her so much that he is willing to allow this to happen. You’ve really got unrequited love down!
You further portrayed his love for her perfectly, such as:
He didn't mind, though, because glancing at her every few pages was much more interesting than reading out loud from any book could have been.
From this, I truly get the sense that Snape loves Lily more than anything. His labor of love over the puzzle box is another great example. Your characterization of Lily was also spot on, just as I imagined her in the books: vibrant and full of life. This sentence really captures her spirit: She had always been like that—her emotions free and fascinating, but none that was more extraordinary than when she finally succeeded.
And now to my favorite part: the rose symbolism. This really was the icing on the cake. The rose symbolizes the evolution of Snape’s feelings for Lily. As a child, he loves her as a friend. As he matures, he loves her in a deeply romantic way. And finally, with her death, his love is silenced forever. This was absolutely stunning, bravo! It really communicates his love and loss, and its done with perfect poignancy.
Wonderful story, I’m so glad I had the chance to read it! You should definitely be proud of it.
Author's Response: Thank you so much for such a wonderful review! I was squeeing and blushing and laughing all the way through it. You complimented me so much, and I am so unbelievably flattered! Thank you again!
Here I go! I remember doing the video for this story, so I am very excited to leave a review for it!
Right from the beginning we see that wonderful descriptive language that Chante' is so famous for. You have a really talent for taking words that seem as though they would never make sense and never belong together, but you are able to turn it into pure poetry and describe the scene such perfect detail that I can't even put into words myself.
Someone certainly loves to see Snape suffer, for as much as you claim to love him as a character, but you do do it so well. You are certainly the site's go-to girl for angst, and while I have no idea how you do it, you can make it all go on and on, yet still have your readers constantly begging for more. And even though I am desperate to finally have the OMG moment in your Shiloh story, I would be lying if I didn't say I was loving every moment of it.
You also did a beautiful job of characterizing Lily, then again, you always do. You always know how to make her the perfect, etheurial character that Snape really see her as (this is my Catholic school side talking, but almost as though she is on par with the Blessed Virgin), and you really feel the hurt when Snape loses her. It always feels so much more substantial of a loss than just losing some friends, and you really know how to make it show.
This story was certainly an excellent use of color motifes. It also made for an amazing chance to experiment with video, and I think that might even be my favorite reason for liking this story, that I had the chance to make the video for it. It really was an honor to be able to make a video for the person who taught me everything I know.
Amazing story, and now that you have the writing bug again, I hope to see a lot more from you!
Author's Response: I do love Severus, but I love him because his story is so impossibly tragic. Besides, I do love my angst! There really is nothing so sweet as sadness. Thank you so much for all your compliments. I don't think you understand how much I squee over the comments you leave on my story, whether it be beta comments are the lovely SPEW worthy reviews you leave. I adore the so much. Oh, and have I mentioned how much I still love, love my trailer for this. I'm so proud of my student! And yes, the writing bug continues, if college doesn't squash it.
It was beautiful,
It was emotional,
It was powerful,
I loved it
Oh my god, so beautiful! Lily and Sev have the most tragic relationship in the world and you really captured his pain when he lost her.
*sniffles* When I stop crying i'll add to favourites =']
Aww, what a sweet story. So sad. Lovely writing!
Beautiful - I've added it to my favorites. I am in love with the Lily and Sev relationship since the release of DH. One tiny, minuscule compliant though... you have a few spelling errors: her instead of him, sheering instead of searing amongst others. Just thought you should know! Loved it in spite of that though. Thanks for this fic.
Sad, but it captures the pain he felt at her death.
oh my god. That was the most beautiful story i have ever read! i'm crying now!!!! omg just gorgeous!
I am reading your other stories now, after starting on Once there was Darkness. They are all as well written, and each one is a treat to enjoy. This one made me cry. I have a soft spot for Severus.
Wow what a vivid story. So many emotions. So much pain and so much love. Very sweet.
beautiful, simply beautiful and very well written!!!
And very intense. So very sweet and sad simultaneously.
beautifully described!!!! Absolutely fantastic!
I've read some of your other fanfics and they.re great!!
please update your fanfic: once there was a darkness!!
Wow, amazing job. I don't even know what to say.
Just... so well done. :')
Author's Response: Thanks so much, Sara
Thank you so much for writing this wonderful, beautiful, adorably touching and well-executed piece of writing.
It's perfect, except for:
"object within could be scene"
"her mouth was pressing against her cheek"
* his, perhaps?
"was you that gave me"
* it was you who, "that" is reserved for inanimate objects and - quite unfairly - animals.
*goes to cry in the closet*
Author's Response: Oh my gosh, thanks so much. I'm sorry for the typos, and thanks for pointing them out. I'm glad you liked it despite them. Thanks so much *hugs* Chante'
This is exceptional [: The emotion is great and very real, your writing +is superb. I love how the little details are what make it so good - it's excellent on its own, but with all the little subplot-type things, it's just taken to another level [: Amazing story, in general, you've done a great job with it.
Author's Response: Oh, thanks so much, Amanda. I'm glad I managed to make the emotion real (it was a goal of mine, and if feels very good to know I managed to achieve it). Thanks so much for taking the time to read it. I love reviews, but reviews from my fellow 'Claws are extra special.
Wow, that was so good! I love how you wrote about the meaning of the colors. And I liked the detail with Petunia. Very funny and creative. How adorable kid's crushes are...I saw one typo, though...
Before he could react, before he could turn his head, her mouth was pressing against her cheek.
Just that. I loved it, it was heartfetl and personal and flowing. You have a good shot at winning the challenge...it really is wonderful!
Author's Response: Thanks so much! I really liked the meaing of the colors too, and I'm glad you liked the detail of Petunia. 'Creative and funny' was what I was aiming for and I'm so glad I acheived that. And so sorry about that typo. I'm so glad you liked it, so thanks so much for reading and reviewing!
This is absolutely brilliant work. I love it! And, also it might sound childish, I cried - I had to cry because the whole situation is so very sad, in your story as well as in DH. Congratulation, marvellous story. Not many stories can touch my heart, yours did.
Author's Response: Omg, thanks so much. And you cried? Don't worry you weren't the only one. It never ceases to surprise me that I could actually write something with the emotion that I wanted. I mean, I was nearly in tears as I wrote this, but I didn't really expect anyone else to. I'm so glad you liked it. Thanks so much for reading!
As usual, you did a superb job handling Severus and Lily. Truly touching and a joy to beta.
Author's Response: ah - thanks so much. *hugs* It's a joy having you as a beta, and I would have been so worried about everything if you hadn't reassured me. Thanks again...for everything!
oh...that was awesome...(sobs)
Author's Response: thank you!