MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!

Name: hogwartsduchess (Anonymous) · Date: 06/23/08 17:56 · For: Ready As I'll Ever Be
First, I was delighted to see this pairing. It’s such an unusual one and I really thought I might have one of the only stories on it, so when I realized who you had teamed up (even non-romantically), I was thrilled. This story speaks volumes for the characters – you’ve done them extremely well.

How did Luna guess he was awake? How does she know about his dreams? Can she hear him at night when he wakes up screaming? I had to laugh at this “Bugger off Luna.” How very perfect. I can imagine him saying that very clearly. And Mrs. Weasley’s threat – HA! Brilliant. Send the only person in there who is stubborn enough to stick to her guns.
I love the description of the room. You can see how much he’s really retreated into himself with the description of the plates of food. It’s very well-done and achingly poignant. And then – IT SPEAKS! HA! Trust Luna to get someone to speak when they are determined to keep their mouth shut.

“Did you ward your door against her?” Again – HA! I had to laugh at the expression that would cross Molly’s face if he had. *snort* George’s rant is so believable. The reader can see it happening just that way, after the initial shock wore off. It’s so heartbreaking…and there sits Luna, placidly eating away at his food, which he’s suddenly realized he wants very badly. Clever wench.

She weaved her way carefully through the debris, doing her best not to bump into any of the clutter. She maneuvered her way to the bed and poked a particularly moldy plate with her toe thoughtfully while George sat up and leaned against his pillows. This part doesn’t flow well at all. The ‘weaved’ and then ‘maneuvered’ so close together when the action is the same…I’d combine the two sentences to improve readability. Your style is wonderful, very crisp and concise, which makes this stick out all the more.
“You tricked me!” Well…DUH! I literally laughed aloud while reading that. For the king of tricksters to have just figured it out shows how deeply involved in his own grief he is. Git.
I love the exchange between them. Luna’s not going to do what he expects (though, given that it is Luna, he should…well, expect her not to do it). She’s just going to sit there in her silent, stubborn way until he catipulates. And his thought process proves that Luna has the right of it anyway. Sit there in silence more stubborn than his own and he’ll cave. She really is a brilliant wench.
And then, the reasoning behind it. I love it. Send Luna. If anyone can annoy him out of the room, it’s her. *snort* Utterly brilliant. I love the little glimpse of Ron and Hermione’s relationship here. It’s hilarious and so very in-character. Ron badgering Hermione until she’s ready to snap at him. Very well-done.

And then, after we’ve all had a nice laugh at Ron’s expense, you make us respect him. You make us almost ashamed that we laughed about his troubles with Hermione. And really, when you stop to think about it, it’s so very like Ron. I know I’ve said this, but your characterization really is spot-on in this whole story. You do such a beautiful job on it that I feel I’ve got to comment at least once more.
Yes, I agree with the Weasleys. Anyone who stays in their bed for two weeks – you do tend to think they’ve given up, and to think that George had done it truly hurt me. I held out hope that Luna would prevail however, and so did the Weasleys, apparently. Thank goodness for Luna.
And George – so clever – waiting for Hermione’s return to go downstairs – but then Luna trumps him. “Wait for the yelling to start” indeed! LOL! I love her unruffled complacency throughout this piece. Her utter assurance that of course George is going to do whatever she says, and would he please shut up now so she can have her nap and kindly wake her when it was time to go downstairs? LOL! I can just see his face in my mind – with that final thought about how strange a commentator she’d have made (and my mind saying ‘you have no idea’).
And that ending. It was a perfect meeting of minds and it just gave me shivers. Brilliantly done, over all, but especially this particular part. The story was fantastic.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review! I can't tell you how wonderful it was to read such a thorough comment. I went back and changed the part that you thought didn't flow well. Thank you for pointing it out, I hadn't really liked that part while I was writing my story, but my beta had insisted it was fine. I always love being critiqued and having my grammatical and spelling errors pointed out, I'd rather have someone point out my flaws than leave them to annoy other readers. So thank you again! As for pairing George and Luna, I did want to give a hint of romance in the story, but focus mainly on Luna helping George. I am planning on writing a sequel that is more romantic (I've actually started, but it still may be a while yet before it is on mugglenet). I always have thought that they would work well together, what with Luna having a quirky sense of humor and the twins loving jokes so much. Then when Fred died, I just knew Luna had to be the one to help him get over it. She'd deffinately be both persistent, caring, and stubborn enough to do it. I had it in my head that it was pretty much common knowledge in the houshold that George couldn't sleep well, so Luna just assumed. She just kept right on her stubborn way unitl George was tricked into going along with her plans. I am very glad that you think the characters are in character also. Probably my biggest pet peeve of other fan fic authors (after grammatical errors of course) is unintentionally out of canon characters. Writing a sad George was a bit tricky, but I'm very glad that you think it came out alright. And in all honesty, I really just desperately wanted to add a Ron and Hermione row to my story. They are my favorite canon couple because they are always good for a laugh. I am so glad that you enjoyed the story, and I'm sorry it took me so long to respond to your review. I hadn't had any in a while!

Name: Rhi for HP (Signed) · Date: 01/28/08 23:38 · For: Ready As I'll Ever Be
Oh my God! I loved it!! I've read so many post-Fred stories about how George has to cope (all of which are unbelievably tragic, it goes without saying), but this is a cut above. I really really enjoyed it and am adding it to my favorite stories list. :)

Author's Response: Thank you, thank you, thank you! I've read many of those fics, probably some of the same ones, and I was just so unsatisfied with some of them, I felt I should right my own. Although I highly recomend For Bitter or Worse by Kerichi, it's one of the best post-Fred stories about George out there.

Name: JustLikeHermione77 (Signed) · Date: 01/27/08 15:11 · For: Ready As I'll Ever Be
good story! just like luna!! lol

Author's Response: Thank you so much!

Name: PaddysGal (Signed) · Date: 01/01/08 19:01 · For: Ready As I'll Ever Be
Awesome story! I never thought Luna as the one to bring him back.

Author's Response: Thank you very much! I really like Luna and the Weasley twins, and I always though they had similar senses of humor and could be good friends if they'd gotten past their basic differences.

Name: Umbrus (Signed) · Date: 11/28/07 22:22 · For: Ready As I'll Ever Be
Amazing...so this is how you spend IR class. Well written though, stone-smasher would be proud.

Author's Response: Thanks. I think I actually wrote most of this in AP Lit. I just get most of my thinking done in IR cause its so hard to write without Goodman reading over my shoulder. Although I may actually start paying attention so I can beat you on one of the tests. Like I did in math. Ha.

Name: shewolf2000 (Signed) · Date: 11/28/07 20:43 · For: Ready As I'll Ever Be
Fantastic Job! I think that Luna was the perfect choice for someone to help George move on. You did a really great job characterizing both her and George. I don't know about you, but I cried when Fred was killed. Anyway, I loved your fic, it's super sweet.

Ron and Hermione *rolls eyes but smiles all the same*, what are we going to do with them?

Author's Response: Thank you! I cried when George lost his ear, so you can imagine how upset I was when Fred actually died. (Please don't judge me for crying about George's ear, it was more that I was having an incredibly horrible day than anything else.) And I couldn't help but put in a Ron and Hermione fight. Their relationship just wouldn't be natural without it :). Thank you again!

Name: laceymoibella (Signed) · Date: 11/25/07 20:00 · For: Ready As I'll Ever Be
Wonderful story. You wrote Luna quite well. I know she can be a difficult character for some to write but you did it superbly.

I, too, would love to see you write a sequel to this.


Author's Response: Thank you! It means alot that you like it, because I really enjoy your story as well. Luna was actually suprisingly easy to write, because I identify well with her. So many requests for a sequel! I guess I'll go get started then.

Name: noviwanwife (Signed) · Date: 11/21/07 22:52 · For: Ready As I'll Ever Be
This was quite good. I would not have thought of bringing George and Luna together like this but it actually works! Poor George, my heart breaks for him. My husband is an identical twin and if anything happened to his brother I am not sure how he would go on! Bravo! Write more!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! George's loss made me so upset, so I really wanted to write a story where he's healing. I do hope to write more in the future. Thank you again!

Name: R_U_LDS_2 (Signed) · Date: 11/21/07 12:03 · For: Ready As I'll Ever Be
i love this story. thank you for writing it

Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing and for your wonderful comments!

Name: Trucker (Signed) · Date: 11/20/07 18:56 · For: Ready As I'll Ever Be
Wow! That was a lovely story about my favorite witch in the HP universe. Having lost a brother (thankfully, not a twin), I went through many of the feelings you described. Very well done, indeed.

Author's Response: I'm so sorry for your loss. Writing about George was the most difficult part of this story. He and Luna are my favorite characters because they are always so funny, and it was really difficult to write a sad George. The end was expecially hard because I wanted to leave the impression that he was doing better at the end, but it kept ending up with him seeming happy-go-lucky again. I'm glad you think I did a successful job. Thank you for reading!

Name: KaileeA42 (Signed) · Date: 11/20/07 17:38 · For: Ready As I'll Ever Be
Really good and in-character. I always feel so bad for george. I would love to read a sequel. =)

Author's Response: I do too. I really wanted to write a story that shows that he can move on, although he won't forget Fred. Thank you so much for reading, I'll see what I can do about a sequel.

Name: sam7800 (Signed) · Date: 11/20/07 7:21 · For: Ready As I'll Ever Be
awesome story....wish it would continue

Author's Response: Thanks, you made my day. I might right a sequel at some point, if I'm feeling creative. It's great to hear that you liked it enough to want to read more!

Name: MissHufflepuff (Signed) · Date: 11/20/07 4:44 · For: Ready As I'll Ever Be
What a cute story! I love the accurate portrayal of Luna. Thank you for sharing this.

Author's Response: Thank you for being my first review! Luna's one of my favorite characters, so I'm very glad you think I portrayed her well. I'm so happy you like it!

You must login (register) to review.