I really like it. I love the use of punctuation, but beyond that I don't know exactly what it is that makes me adore it. Nevertheless, I do love it.
Author's Response: :D Thanks. I was a little creative in the punctuation of this poem, and I think it paid off.
*sighs* Stubby, you've gone and done it again! This poem is so eerie and just...wonderful.
blink-blink, click-click, scratch-scratch... these repetitions really give the poem a kind of "united" disjointedness. I really wish that I could convey the kind of deadened sense of mind that you give Mrs. Granger here. I've done what she has so many times *rolls eyes* yet here it is very creepy. Well, no, not creepy, just very sad and kind of macabre in a way.
I wish I could say more, but my poetry critique skills are obviously not up to scratch. This poem is definitely one of my favorites and I can't even think of a single thing to critique! FANTABULOUS job!
Author's Response: :D Thanks, Allie. I find that repetition brings a haunting feel to stuff. *grin* I'm glad you liked it so much.rnrnI love reviews....
This poem was very interesting.
The first things I thought of when I read the poem was a short story I read in class, “Harrison Bergeuron”. In the story, the mother was unable to think more than a simple thought without her mind forgetting it; she witnessed her son’s death on TV, and forgot why she was crying a minute later. I loved the effect of the memory charm on Mrs. Granger; how it quickly made her forget her daughter. It reminded me of that story, which is one of my favorites.
The style of the poem – those short, choppy lines – fit in the perfectly with the subject. Mrs. Granger has just started feeling effects of the memory charms, so the idea of these short, quick thoughts fits in perfectly with her state of mind. A memory charm, especially as big as the one Hermione cast, would greatly affect a person’s memory.
I loved how the memory charm kicked in right after Mrs. Granger thought of her daughter. It was so sudden how the thought of the daughter disappeared from her mind; it made it even sadder. The only thing is that I always thought that the memory charm started working right before Hermione left for the Burrow – while her parents will still in England. I don’t know why her parents would have gone into Australia in the first place unless they were under the memory charm. Unless Hermione Apparated them there or something, the idea of the memory charm not affecting Mrs. Granger until she arrived in Australia doesn’t fit with the books. But I still loved the poem anyway.
Author's Response: *grin*
Thanks, Teresa. I haven't gotten a review in ages, and especially not one this good.
As for the Memory Charm incident, I intended it to seem that she DID have the charm on her, but when she starts writting the letter it's just one of those inate things you don't even realise you're doing- until she does realise and thinks, 'What the heck? I don't have a daughter!'. So, yeah. Sorry about any confusion.
Wow. I loved this darlin'. How angsty *shudders* I could feel the pain. It almost jumps out at you from the screen. Great work!
Author's Response: Pain- it comes at you like a spider monkey! *laughs at the supreme stupidity of 'Ricky Bobby'* Thanks, Manu! -Stubby
What an interesting idea for a poem! Way to go! I never realized until just now that we never hear anything about what it's like for the Grangers with their daughter as the best friend of HARRY POTTER and caught in this war and everything and then moving to Australia and everything; they're kind of minor characters, though oddly so, since Hermione is so major. You have a very intriguing/pleasing/interesting/enjoyable/(fill in adjective of your choice) style of poetry.
Author's Response: Why, thanks. I recommend reading a fic called 'Australia' (not sure who it's by; it's in my favourites) if you want more of a smimilar theme. It's the minor characters that are always fun to explore, I find. Thank you!
Absolutely beautiful. I love free verse... Anyway, I'm no poet, so I won't comment on the techinicalities, but once I realised what it was about (I'm dense; didn't remember Hermione's mum's "Ausrealian" name :P ) I almost cried. So sad!
Author's Response: Aw, thank you! Reviews like this always brighten my day.... -Stubby
Wow. That is so good. You are a master.
I just came across this again (because you gave me a review! Thankyou!) and i realised that i never left a reveiw the first time.
I just want to say that after reading this REALLY REALLY COOL AWESOME poem, that it inspired me to actually write some poems. They are not anywhere as good as yours, though. You rock.
Author's Response: Gzasp. ZOMG. Was I just called a master? Pinch me, I must be dreaming. THANK YOU! Totally going to go read your poems.... -Stubby
Oh, wow, Stubby. I wish I could write poems like you. T_T This is...amazing, honestly. I think the style is perfect for what you're writing about, and I think you've really (I want to say 'mastered') the style. I love the way the parentheses work (it's strange, I started using parentheses in poems last week. *blinks*), and you use them really well. They sort of convey the feelings, or Mrs. Granger's...subconscious? Something like that.
But anyway. This poem is fantastic.
Author's Response: 0_o *twitch* Can I say thank you? A million times over? Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.... I've been experimenting in a few other styles as well, like Shakespearean iambic pentameter. It came out okay, I guess. Now I need to write something Pottery! Thanks again! -Stubby
This was a really interesting poem. Unique style. I liked how every other stanza, (I believe that's what it's called) it starts with a sound. It sounds plain, but discriptive at the same time. :D Weird, i know, but I'm weird.
I like it Stubby! :D Very nice. ()_) Marshmallow!
Author's Response: Oooh! Thank you! I haven't gotten a review in ages! I liked the little sound thingy too. In fact, I wrote a non-HP poem the other day and realised after I had finished that I'd done the same thing.... B)_) Snowman! -Stubby
i love this sooo much!
i cant even describe...your style is very.. ack cant think of the word but its good...
effective is a synonym but not the word...ackness...well, ill just say effective :)
Author's Response: ;) Thanks. I'm glad it... affected you.
Author's Response: Hmmmm... thanks. -Stubby
I'll admit that I am not a fan of disjointed verse. I like it ordered into metre and fluffed up with punctuation, however... I really loved this. I re-read it several times and your word choice and repetition is quite haunting. It made me think of Heroes and the horrid blankness of having your memory wiped that Claire's mother has to endure (blank looks from everyone who hasn@t seen Heroes). You did a great job of conveying that deadness while letting the reader know what it is that has been lost.
Author's Response: Aw, thankees. I have some trouble with 'normal' poetry (*cough-I'mprettyterrible-cough*), so I find that free verse fits me. I tried to get those hidden meanings in there little things. Like, how the 'invisible' war is on T.V.- that was meant as a way of saying that it isn't real to her or touching them. Thank you so much! -Stubby
WHOA. AWESOMENESS OVERLOAD.
You're writing lotsa poems lately, and I'm not sure my tiny leetle brain can handle the sheer amazingness of them!
I love the 'blink-blink' repitition in here, and the parentheses here and there. . . wow. . . .
You really have a unique poetry style that is all your own, and it definitely shows here -- and it's fantastic. I especially love:
I can almost feel the emotion and the confusion here, and I'm also feeling a bit sad.
This was an excellent poem, and I have no concrit (for once).
P.S. That poem I beta-ed for you a while ago called "Caged Bird" -- have you submitted it?
Author's Response: THANK YOU! Tehe, I'm sorry, but that just is teh happiness overload to me. Just.. yeah... thanks! I do like this poem. 'i have never heard a caged bird sing' got submitted, but incorrectly, and I haven't redone it yet because I'm lazy and don't particually like it. Maybe I'll do it though.... :D -Stubby