Reviewer: kassinikki41594
Date: 12/22/07 6:13
Chapter: Chapter 2: Mistakes and Disbeliefs

HA! VERY VERY VERY NICE!!! Keep writing i want to finish the rest of this story!!!!!!!!!!!

Author's Response: I'm glad you like it! The rest of the story is still coming. ;)

Reviewer: kassinikki41594
Date: 12/22/07 6:05
Chapter: Chapter One: Questions and More Questions

this first chapter, was very good, it has the nice authors flow, and i really enjoyed it!

Author's Response: Thank you so much!

Reviewer: xXRon_luverXx
Date: 12/17/07 18:04
Chapter: Chapter 2: Mistakes and Disbeliefs

RON WASNT HUNGRY?!?! now you know somrthings wrong!!!! lol
cute story so far
poor ron
by trying to drive hermione
away freom the gitt..
he drive her straight into
his arms.... tut tut..... lol
good job so far!!!

Author's Response: You know it's madness when Ron isn't hungry. haha. ;D And thanks so much for the review. It so awesome!

Reviewer: xXRon_luverXx
Date: 12/17/07 18:04
Chapter: Chapter 2: Mistakes and Disbeliefs

RON WASNT HUNGRY?!?! now you know somrthings wrong!!!! lol
cute story so far
poor ron
by trying to drive hermione
away freom the gitt..
he drive her straight into
his arms.... tut tut..... lol
good job so far!!!

Reviewer: Queen97
Date: 12/15/07 19:05
Chapter: Chapter 2: Mistakes and Disbeliefs

Oh my gosh! Ron ISN'T hungry?! *GASP.*

Author's Response: Unbelievable, isn't it? ;D

Reviewer: xXRon_luverXx
Date: 12/13/07 18:30
Chapter: Chapter One: Questions and More Questions

it wont let me view the next chapter =[ do you know y? it says this site dosent have access to it er somethin...



but i liked just so you know...
it was good and it is a really good
example of how ron
and hermione treat each
other on like a daily
bases..... sooo yeah lol

Author's Response: The next chapter hasn't been validated yet, so maybe that's the problem. :D And thanks for the review!

Reviewer: Binka Fudge
Date: 12/10/07 18:21
Chapter: Chapter One: Questions and More Questions

This story is looking good, so please don't leave it too long before the next chapters out. The quill tapping was so funny, just like Ron and Hermione's temper was right on too. Can't wait for the next installment.

Author's Response: Thank you so much! The next chapter is still in queue; just waiting for the amazing moderators to validate it. And I'm trying my very best to update on a regular basis. As an experienced fan fiction reader, I know how much I hate the long wait after chapter updates. XD

Reviewer: maze
Date: 12/03/07 5:55
Chapter: Chapter One: Questions and More Questions

Good start. Heading towards a promising story. I hope you have lots of bickering and jealous Ron and Hermione.Please update soon.

Author's Response: Thanks! I'm sure to add loads of bickering and jealousy between Ron and Hermione. The story wouldn't even be complete without it. :D

Reviewer: marvelousmeg
Date: 11/28/07 14:39
Chapter: Chapter One: Questions and More Questions

congrats on your first fanfic!1 It's really good! Please update soon:)

Author's Response: Thank you so much!

Reviewer: HPLoverForever
Date: 11/25/07 14:26
Chapter: Chapter One: Questions and More Questions

In her six years at Hogwarts, Lavender Brown has never given love advice to Hermione until now.

^ There, 'has' should be 'had', given that you're writing in past tense.

I recommend using more adjectives. In a lot of places, you simply explain what is happening by just stating it. Here's an example:

Harry was already half-asleep; his eyes were closed but he was still turning the pages of his book.

If you added an adjective here and there, this little bit could be much more interesting. Maybe try something like this:

Harry was already half-asleep, or so it seemed; his eyes were shut, yet he was still lazily turning the pages of his book, the hand propping up his head beginning to slowly slide out from underneath him.

Not only does this add more to the scene and give you a better image of what is happening, but it also lengthens the chapter and makes it more interesting. :)

Also, Hermione is a bit OOC. I just can't see her reacting the way she does here over a random boy, nonetheless in public. With Ron it'd different just because he's a main character and it's more than obvious in the series that she has feelings for him, but I just can't picture Hermione swooning over a guy like that. Remember, she had feelings for Viktor and never told or showed anybody.

Other than those things, this story is well on its way. With a few tweaks, it could be very good. I like the idea of it, with the book. Perhaps the same one Ron had been using in Deathly Hallows that he gave to Harry for his birthday? Who knows? ;)

Author's Response: Thanks for the comments and advice! Adding adjectives DEFINITELY makes a sentence more interesting, so I'll remember that. Also, I hate myself for getting Hermione out of character. Thanks for pointing that out; I'll try to keep her in character. Haha, and the book in Deathly Hallows pretty much sparked my idea for my story; I'll just be adding a few of my own ideas to it. :D Thanks again!

Reviewer: Striped Candycane
Date: 11/25/07 11:33
Chapter: Chapter One: Questions and More Questions

For you very first fanfiction, this wasn’t bad at all! I really enjoyed the lively dialogue, which you seem to be very good at. None of it was flat or awkward.

The only thing I suggest you work on are the descriptions…I know they can seem boring, but they really flesh out a piece, give it more general body. Perhaps a beta could help you with this?

I’m really looking forwards to seeing more from you! Keep writing!


Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad my story wasn't a complete failure. Also, thank you so much for the advice. Hopefully, I'll be able to find a beta and my story will be better. Thanks again!

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