Aw! That was cute. Of course, I think everything revolving around how much Severus loved Lily is cute...lol.

I like that your story is different from most, because you had Severus give him the present before they became friends. But I would suggest having more consistency with the characters. For example, you might look over Lily being shy at the beginning, then becoming annoyed at Severus' timidness. But aside from that, nice story, and good luck with future writings!