Oh and I forgot to mention, Arden is my favorite new OC. My favorite OC overall is probably a tie between Emma and Ivy. Sorry for not clarifying that originally!
Author's Response: Ah, thanks! And it's cool that you like Emma and Ivy both-- I don't think most people like Emma AND Ivy; they seem to have kind of conflicting world views.
I really enjoyed this story! I loved the way you made Jordan recognize the changes within him and I believe you tied up the other characters’ loose ends equally as well. I did not guess that the Lee was written by Lily Evans (and I did read Love a Duck prior to this chapter) and I thought it was very creative. That whole scene between Harry and Haley was touching…it was nice to see that. I’ve noticed there are more Harry-Jordan scenes than Harry-Haley scenes, and this was an excellent way to bring the father closer with his daughter. I have to say my favorite OC was Arden. I liked her shy personality and how she overcame her fear of revealing what she truly was. The name is quite nice too; I am overly fond of wildly unusual names, and this reminds me of something I’d use in my own writing! Vladislav seems like an interesting character as well and isn’t it mentioned that he will be staying at the Hog’s Head the next year? I think Arden’s story was fully told, but what of Vladislav’s? I would like to see his character further developed – he’s very intriguing. Overall, I enjoyed this chapter and this entire installment, immensely. Your humor is as witty as ever – “He just saved a whole bunch of galleons on his broom insurance by switching to—” That made me laugh :) You are very talented. Humor has to be one of the hardest if not the hardest genre to write. I can’t wait for the next Potter’s Pentagon! Keep on writing!
Author's Response: Wow, thanks so much! And I am pleeeased that you didn't guess about Lee-- I guess the people who DID guess it was Lily were just more vocal than those who didn't, so I assumed most people guessed. Wow, I never really noticed that Harry didn't have a lot of scenes with Haley. I actually know someone named Arden who looks a lot like Arden from this story; she's the only character I've ever named after anyone, because I thought her name was so pretty. (The Arden I know doesn't act anything like my fictional Arden, though.)
rnVladislav needs a bigger part. Yeah, he's staying at the Hog's Head... he was always a bit of a favourite of mine, but I didn't think the readers would like him much, so he doesn't appear in the third book, though he is mentioned in it. But I should edit and give him a cameo (I do know that he'll be appearing in "Pride and Pre-juiced Plums.") I think humour is the hardest genre NOT to write-- I've been working on a borderline angsty story with a very strange science-fiction style twist, and I keep slipping in the silliest of humour.
At this point, he got a good look at the girl. She had electric tangerine-colored hair chopped off just below the ear, framing a triangular face. Her face looked a bit like that of a cartoon character-- she had big, wide set brown eyes, a wide smiley mouth, and a little dash of a nose.
I sometimes picture Giorgi as an anime character of some sort because of this description...
Author's Response: Me, too! ^_^ <-- That face looks like Giorgi. In fact, I always picture her as an anime character-- the rest are more Disney style.
Oops, I forgot to mention what I thought of Lee!
I don't know why, but I thought it was Lee Jordan from the very beginning. I doubt he would be that insightful.
Lucia, you are not alone, as I completely adore Ted Lupin myself.
Author's Response: Whoo! I'm glad you didn't guess about Lee... I was a little worried that too many people would guess. Heck, I love Ted, too!
Oh. My. Goodness. This story was hilarious and amazing (just like the first)!
If laughter were the best medicine, you would be the best doctor in the world.
On to Book Three!
Author's Response: Thanks so much! Book Three's not posted yet, but I;ll get it up eventually. It's also really long.
Overall I definitely luuurrrvvveed it! *is still waiting for a TyronexEmma fluff sequence*
“This is Haley’s father. Are you a Horcrux?”
Totally classic Harry moment. Who else would blatantly come out and just ask!!??!?
Okay I thought that the Lee thing so creative! Never in a quatrillion zillion years would I have thought it was Lily!
WARNING! Skip next part if you are afraid/if you are allergic/if you generally just dislike to fangirls who are in lurve with werewolves!! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
Okay and I love love love Ivy and Ted together, but let me tell you how bad I want to be a Lavender in this relationship (just without the skanky-eat-off-Ted's-face snogging ;]). I am just so in love with Ted! He so adorable! He is definitely on the top of my ever so long fangirling-list. (He ties with Fred, George, and Ron for first.(I'm totally serious xD)).
It's weird because as much as I love Ivy and Ted together, I still want them to break up for like a week just so that me and him can get togetrher *Lucia is a weeeiiirrrrddddd loonnnyyy* But siriusly, who can resist his cute and ah-dorable boyish charm?!?!
*Is the officail fangirl of Ted Lupin =P*
Anywho I really can't wait for Book 3!! Good luck in the writing and editing and submitin'! In the mean time, I'm off to read Pride and Prejuiced!
Author's Response: Wow, thanks! And yeah, one area in which Harry is not particularly gifted is *subtlety*. But then, Gryffindors in general aren't really known for their subtlety. And I'm relieved that you didn't guess about Lee... I was worried, 'cos I saw so many reviewers who guessed. And I'm so glad that you love my little Tedster, because I love him as well. He has a really big role in the third one, so that'll be fun. And I know how you feel about wanting to break up Ivy and Ted, because I have this ENORMOUS fandom crush on Rex Greene from Midnighters, as in, I'd actually want to date him (Like, I adore Ron Weasley, but I wouldn't actually want to date him), and I love Henry Tilney from Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen (especially in the film version). The romantic relationships they're in are still great, I'd just... rather it be me.
I have to interject one thing about this chapter: At the end, when Ron called Apple a pansy, I just about died! My older brother and his friends sort of have their own slang, and they always use 'pansy' for 'weak'. It cracked me up!
Sorry, but I just had to add that.
Author's Response: Thanks! Yeah, 'pansy' is a rather rude word for someone who's weak or pathetic... when I watched Wallace and Gromit and the gardener sprayed the pathetic villain in the eyes with Pansy Spray, I cracked up. (I think it was intentional.)
If you kill Jordan I think I will... Well not kill you, cause then I would have too become obsessed with an other fanfiction. But I will cry!
I don`t think you will kill Jordan, cause he is really my favourite. Well I hope you will update soon, or you know post the next part. Or update "Love a duck" Or I think I`ll go insane.
I hope your math exam went well, along with possible other exams :)
Author's Response: Jordan is really my favourite, too. But the only character that I couldn't bring myself to kill off is Harry... everyone else is fair game. I will update "Love A Duck," I promise-- I don't know why I've been so busy lately. My math exam went fairly well-- I got a high B, not great, but not bad either. And I'm pretty bad at math, so I was fairly relieved.
I'm sorry if I've all ready posted this review but I tried to delete it to fix some things (don't ask) then I thought it didn't work but when I looked again I couldn't find it, so I figured I some how deleted it but if I didn't I beg your forgiveness *takes deep breath, wipes brow*. Now we are starting with the actual review!
I thought I would tell you: Your story is wonderful (And I love that song, not that that has any thing to do with this)! It has plot, funnynes, (or whatever you call that...humor, I guess) romance (Yay! Tyrone and Emma!) and... (Drum roll please) a beginning and a end! I'm very bad at the ending part and usually only have a beginning some middle and pretty much no end...so I commend you for your ending. I noticed that other people were doing this so I decided to do it to!
Favorite OC: Hmm...I guess I like Ted, Giorgi and Ivy but all the characters are so easy to like it's hard to chose just a few!
Least favorite OC: Charybdis, I guess. She's so snide all the time and most of the stuff she says, to me, doesn't seem all that smart aleck-y and daunting (no offense to the author). Though I have a hard time under standing why the characters listen to her so much and obsess over what she says (I don’t go to public school though so I've never really had to deal with any one like Charybdis).
I remember when I was reading the first book thinking that I was sort of like both Jordon and Haley. I can defiantly see my self in Haley, I get really excited all the time, but I don't like sparkly things all that much. But I don't really remember what I saw about Jordon in my self.
Keep up the good work! Post the new book soon please! Have a good exam (If there is such a thing and there not over yet as I said before I don't go to public school and don't know about these things)!
Author's Response: Yep, it did get deleted the first time, don't worry. Thanks so much! (Which song did you love? I can't remember a song, but I'm not the brightest kid on the block.) This is a really lovely review, and I'm glad that you liked Ivy, because she's always been my least favourite of the bunch, and she needed a little love. As for Charybdis, I hate her so much... I hate her both as a person and as a character, because I feel like she's poorly written and she needs more... depth, but then when I try to give her more depth in the next book, she just is annoying. Ah well, the reason why the characters obsess over what she says is that they know that since she has absolutely no tact, everything she says is true, and she can really manipulate their insecurities. You're right, though, she's really not clever at all. I've never had to deal with anyone like her before either, because she's unrealistic and real people aren't like her! ^_^
rnI think I'm like both Haley and Jordan, too-- Haley in the hyper-ness and musical theatre aspect of things, but I do not like pink and sparkles all that much, and I'm not touchy-feely. My Jordan-ness comes from not liking hugging, having similar tastes in music, being rather cynical, and generally how I act when I'm insecure or in a bad mood (basically, I'm Haley with my friends and Jordan in private.)
rnI did indeed finish my exams-- today was THE LAST DAY OF SCHOOL! (But there's a different last day of school for all sorts of things.) Thanks so much!
if tyrone and emma don't confess to eachother with an sunset and a slowmotion scene with music playing in the background, i'll have to do it for them.
how, you ask?
i do not know. all i know is the sun is out, and my knees are burning and red from said sun.
Author's Response: Hahahah, I would like to see your story about that... it'd be like, like... fanfiction of my fanfiction. But as for Tyrone and Emma getting together, you'll get to see that happpen TWICE! Because you'll see the scene in the third Potter's Pentagon book, and when they get together in "Pride and Pre-juiced Plums." Yeah, I know, I gave it away, but I think everyone pretty much knows they like each other.
My absolute favorite Oc was Giorgi, mainly because we dress a lot alike and people are always freaking about the fact that I do own a Mexican Army Uniform, but hollister is missing from my wardrobe. I really want to see more of Giorgi in the next fic. She's an inspiration to all the freaks in the world. Also, could you ask her if i could borrow the Spam T-shirt? My friends and I have decided to devote a holiday to fake meat.
Author's Response: Thanks so much! I love Giorgi, too-- A MEXICAN ARMY UNIFORM? You're officially one of the cooler people on this site. There is a good deal of Giorgi-ness in the next story, but sadly, there's not as much as there is in this one, because I didn't know she'd be popular among readers. As for teh Spam shirt... I LOVE iron-on transfers. You can buy them at a craft store or Wal-Mart, and you put them in your computer like paper and print out any words or images that you want, then get a t-shirt and iron the picture or words on, and you have a new shirt! I've made about ten shirts with iron-on transfers, and everyone always asks me where I bought them.
Hello Count Schmergula.
“No,” came the reply. “It’s my initials, L.E.E.”
“What do they stand for?” Harry wrote, scribbling faster than ever.
The diary gave an answer, and when it did, both father and daughter stared at it, then at each other, and then at the diary again. Whatever words they had expected to see appearing on the page, these were certainly not them.
“My name is Lily Elizabeth Evans.”
Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzahuzzahuzzahuzzah!
I was the first one to come out with this theory! You have no idea how this feels!
Author's Response: Yeah, I actually groaned out loud when you got it right in your first review. I was like, "Dangit, and here I thought I was so clever... Bleh...." I like that name, Ankhenstein... mehemhe...
Well, hello Schmergo!
Here is my massively late review for this story! I’m also very, very sorry that I haven’t gotten around to sending you my next picture for the art challenge yet, but I’ve been “busy.” Of course, the truth is, I started drawing it but forgot all about it once I took a holiday from fanfiction to study for exams, but I digress.
Naturally, you must be tired of hearing me grovel, so I’ll just cut to more irrelevant matters. Before I review Potter’s Pentagon Two, I must say adieu to the magnificent view of the morning dew on the shiny new pews at the zoo, but I admit my brain just flew and that is my cue to keep my words to a few.
That was utterly pointless and stupid.
“If it were not for this constant stream of motor impulses... we would collapse! Like a bunch – of – BROCOLLI!”
Anyway… now you can view my new review! [smack!] In total and utter seriousnessness, I must sadfully bid farewellness to this story/book/magnum octopus. Though it didn’t end the way I wanted it to (sigh… no Greater Welsh Empire, I’m afraid), you brought this second magnificent instalment of the Five’s adventures to an entertaining, but most of all, satisfying conclusion.
Of course, it is not just a good plot that makes this story good. Yes, there were thrilling Triwizard Tournaments travesties, zoo zappings, and politician plasterings, but what made this story great instead of good was not the engaging plot, but rather the strength of its characters. Throughout both of your Potter’s Pentagon stories, you’ve created characters that are so deeply human that I cannot help but notice my similarities with them, and perhaps come to better understand a part of myself. I have to admit that Vladislav inspired me, and seeing so much of myself in him was both alarming and revealing.
Then there is Tancred Apple. On the surface, he is an egotistic, power-mongering git, but just beneath that fašade lies an exemplary human being. I was surprised when I found myself rooting for the alpha antagonist, but I came to realise that Apple was probably the most genuine and the bravest and of all the characters. Everybody said he was an egotistic, power-mongering git, but did that deter him? NO. Apple embraced what the world hurled at him with a smile on his face, and the strength of his courage is simply amazing. To put it bluntly, he had an awful lot of guts to risk everything to unite the Muggle and Magical worlds. We will never know whether the consequences would have been good or bad had he succeeded, but Tancred Apple was the only person brave enough to try to find out, and I commend him for that.
But most of all, I must commend you for writing such a magnificent story. All things must come to an end, but I am glad that this second Potter’s Pentagon did so in such a satisfying manner.
Tim the Enchanter
Author's Response: Tim! I was just thinking about you the other day. Don't worry, nothing creepy, just wondering what you've been up to because I haven't seen you around the interwebz much lately. In any case, thanks for yet another wonderful review... and I'll have to remember the phrase 'magnum octopus.' *Puts it into my pipe for later use*rn
I have to say, I'm rather sucky at coming up with plots-- I just take a concept like "Uhh... Triwizard... diary... email... zoo... French werewolves," and then I drop my characters in it like mice in a maze and see what happens based on what I know of the characters. So I'm really glad that you think that I have strong characters, because I'm a little bit psychotically attached to the characters. It's kind of creepy. My friends at school and I talk about them like they're real characters. (It's weird, with the very first review you left, I thought, "hmm, this guy kind of reminds me of Vladislav Poliakoff," so it's interesting that you, who obviously know yourself much better than I do, saw the similarity, too.")
rnThat's a very interesting analysis of Apple, and I have to say, looking back at this story, I'm really disappointed that he doesn't come back later in the series, because I think he's interesting. The first book had a very classic villain, and the third one has a very classic villain (actually, it has two main villains; the second we don't see until the end, and I'm rather proud of him, but the first one's a bit of a cliche.) I was only planning on writing one Potter's Pentagon book, then I thought up Apple when my mind was wandering during the sermon in church, and I just went, "I NEED to write another Potter's Pentagon story," and I plotted the rest of the story around him. You know, it'd be interesting to write a spin-off about what would happen if Apple DID succeed. That'd actually be really interesting. There's something rather Shakespearean in the concept...
This story is amazing!!!!!!! (sorry about the punctuation) My favorite OC is Jordan. Because he is awesome. My least-favorite OC is...(Drumroll) Ivy! Sorry Ivy. You're just not as awesome. As for the one I relate to the most...some sort of Jordan-Ted hybrid thing. PLEASE ADD BOOK SOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! See above note about punctuation.
P.S.-who is your favorite/least favorite OC? Who do you relate to the most? Why ask these questions when I could probably read the reviews and find out? I'm lazy.
Author's Response: Thank you so much! And yeah, I actually totally agree with you-- Jordan is my favourite and my least favourite is Ivy! I always thought I was a Jordan/Haley hybrid, but when I started writing "Pride and Pre-Juiced Plums," which is from Emma's perspective, I started to realize that Emma and I have some things in common, as well.
haley should SO call Tyrone Tyronion in PP III. That would be awesome possum.
Author's Response: Tyronion... how did you come up with that? It's amazing... I will have to edit the third book.
Hi! I've been reading your stories forever but I just got an account! I'm going to review all of them now! PP2 is awesome! This is a killer story. I can't wait to find out what happens (my favorite couple/not really a couple is Jordan/Giorgi, but Emma/Tyrone is cute, too) next. You're doing a great job!
Author's Response: Awww, thanks! It must be super-time-consuming to review ALL of these bajillion stories. I have to admit, my favourite couple in the stories is Emma/Tyrone, which is why I wrote a whole spinoff story about them. Jordan is my favourite character, but my favourite parts of the story to write are those about T&E.
Hahahahahaha! great minds think alike, my dear...
Author's Response: Cheers to that! ^_^
oh i forgot to ask you! (or just confirm) "Charybdis" is one of the monsters from "The Odyssey" right? the big gaping hole in the ocean that eats all of Odysseus' men, except him?
Hehehehe, Charybdis should have a sister named Scylla...
Author's Response: Charybdis DOES have a sister named Scylla. I'm really cheesy. You'll see her in the next book!
hush, you! sorry. in my impatience, i hit the submit button twice. :P oh well. it doubly made my day.
Author's Response: Awww, I know it's not your fault that you double-posted! I do it all the time! I just have to say SOMETHING in response to double-posts, or else it'll say like 'eleven unresponded reviews' on my page or something.
i just posted a rly long review and it didn't work. Ugh, i could just kill my computer. anyway..... so.. great story! i can't believe it's over! *sniff*
i must be more clueless than the rest of MNFF because i didn't guess that Lee was Lily Potter; i thought it was Lee Jordan! lol
i have to say my favorite oc was giorgi. how can you not love giorgi?
i also loved how you made jordan grow up a little bit..
well, i can't wait for the next one, so be sure to post it sooooooooon!!!
Author's Response: Urgh, I hate it when MNFF does that! But I'm glad that you read the story and that you liked it. And even happier that you didn't guess about Lee. After people started posting reviews with their theories, I started to worry that readers would read the reviews and get ideaaars. It's cool that you liked Giorgi-- she's in the next one, too, but her part's not as big because I didn't know she'd be so popular!