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MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!
Reviews For The Price

Name: mylifeisgranger12 (Signed) · Date: 07/19/11 21:18 · For: Chapter 1
good story. my only thing. why the dubious consent warning?


Name: SpiritedAway702 (Signed) · Date: 07/21/08 23:49 · For: Chapter 1
That was pretty good but I don't get the warning "dubious consent." As far as I could tell there wasn't any.


Name: SpiritedAway702 (Signed) · Date: 07/21/08 23:48 · For: Chapter 1
That was pretty good but I don't get the warning "dubious consent." As far as I could tell there wasn't any.


Name: cookie_girl1377 (Signed) · Date: 04/29/08 21:45 · For: Chapter 1
lol that wasgreat! i fight likethat all the time with my boyfriend. well they are normally real fights but still we make up that easily as well lol so that was super real for me. :] i totally saw that as me and him and not draco and ginny. :]
thank you for making me feel better about my dramatic relationship i dont feel so bd now. :] at least mine isn't a secret relationship with the enemy.:]


Name: Roommate of the Quillster (Signed) · Date: 01/27/08 13:44 · For: Chapter 1
First, I’m still bewildered by the sudden turn your story took at the end. Nice job fooling your reader. However, one thing that might be more fun for you and your reader is to keep them confused/feel like they’re smart for figuring out the puzzle with the clues you leave them. Because sometimes when it abruptly changes like that at the end, we’re still confused. But, for the effect you were going for, this was lovely.

However, there are a couple things I’d like to point out.

First, in the beginning of the story Draco says: “It’s just homework, Weasley.” Then, in the next section, Hermione asks: “Did your exam go badly?”

So, I thought they were doing homework. And if they were taking an exam, why would Draco and Ginny both be in the Great Hall? They’re one year apart, and the only time we’ve ever seen students taking exams in the Great Hall was for O.W.L.s in Harry’s fifth year. So I’m confused as to why a 7th year Head Boy and a 6th year Ginny Weasley would be taking an exam at the same time in a big hall.

And if they really were doing homework, why would Ginny have to: finished with the time given? And, when we’ve seen students doing homework in the Great Hall, there haven’t been individual desks there.

Second, sometimes you throw in characters we haven’t seen at all yet, and it’s startling. For example:

“I’m fine, go on,” he said to Ron who was looking a little baffled.

I’m looking a little baffled too. Ron never appeared when Harry did with his two cups of tea. This is the first mention of Ron. It was a bit surprising. You need to remember to give your characters stage directions too, otherwise your readers won’t know what’s happening.

Also, when Harry spoke to Ginny, it felt like before Harry’s sixth year again. But in your story, they’re in his seventh year, so unless your story is AU, Harry and Ginny should have a different comfort level in their relationship — even if Harry’s still interested in Ginny and she’s not.

Overall, your story was written nicely. You have a nice tone in your story which is nice for the readers. It might help to be a bit more consistent in your characterization — even if you decide to twist the story in the opposite direction at the end. But, like I said, nice job with this story. It was an interesting interpretation of this pairing.


Name: AurorInTraining (Signed) · Date: 12/05/07 15:50 · For: Chapter 1
What a good story! Had me fooled at the beginning! Loved it, didn't want it to end, keep writing!


Name: Gseeker7 (Signed) · Date: 11/24/07 22:42 · For: Chapter 1
wow that was awesome.


Name: Hermione Clone (Signed) · Date: 11/24/07 20:55 · For: Chapter 1
Great story!


Name: cocomaloco (Signed) · Date: 11/24/07 18:09 · For: Chapter 1
ooooooooooh *shivers* that was gurrrd! loving the twist at the end there!
one thing though- his pjs? in the middle of school-plus and more importantly...are his pjs sexy???

Author's Response: It was much later that night. And probably. I didn't think about it.


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