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Name: FriendofMolly (Signed) · Date: 02/18/09 16:00 · For: Chapter 43 - Suppressing Reality
Wonderful Memorial, so far, as I'm sure there's more to come. I can't imagine Harry not being there, probably under his cloak. Is it because of George, or something else? I think, I better go back a few chapters to check, as its been a while since your last update. I do love your story, but you have to sort George out, it's time. One more thing, what is Draco and Narcissa doing there and what did he say to Hermione?

Author's Response: I wish I could update sooner, but it's an uphill battle here...you'll find out about both Harry and Hermione in the following chapters :) I spent a lot of time on that speech, I knew I couldn't post without! thanks for reading and commenting!

Name: potterchassid (Signed) · Date: 02/06/09 2:11 · For: Chapter 1 - Back to the Beginning
I wrote it this way and I like slower moving stories rather than ones that assume too much too quickly.

Well, having particularly praised you for your storyline, I am not at all upset for the slowness. One of your great strengths is how you get the teenagers.

Thanks for tracing your Kreacher source. I recall that many fans were repeatedly upset at the non reappearance of house elves in GoF, and in the merely symbolic appearance in OOTP; the director may not have "gotten" them either. Never mind that by DH, we see how they were important throughout.

Perhaps it might still be a good idea to develop this question in some subplot, but I understand you already finished the story, it is merely being edited/beta-ed, is it?

Author's Response: I knew I got it from somewhere, maybe I have seen the movies too many times ;) I have Kreacher played this way in the next fic too, which I've only just now picked up again since July...The final five chapters are being beta'd, but I have more ready to post, I'm just holding onto them ;)

Name: potterchassid (Signed) · Date: 02/05/09 9:19 · For: Chapter 1 - Back to the Beginning
you can catch up to chapter 59 on flannel_fiction, I'll be posting that today ;) Hope you continue to enjoy the story.

"hope"? Are you mad?! Of course I enjoy it. That was one great chapter (coming after a series of great chapters). My comments were mostly about making sure your early chapters are as polished as the recent 30 or so, and I must say, I do think taht Kreacher is out of character. But perhaps you'll explain to us in some future chapter why. I am sure Harry, too, or at least his friends, must wonder about such a strange, exceptional house elf.

And I am glad to hear that the early subplot is going to play a role again. "you'll have to keep reading to see if I've really dropped it or not" - I got the hint)

Oh, and I ought to stress that I wanted to review partly because I've seen many reviews, especially before ch.45, blaming you for either slow action or too little Harry-Ginny snogging (though there was plenty of that as an intro).

Author's Response: I feel bad that so many people have to go elsewhere to get the chapters, but I'm glad you found them and enjoyed them. I'm getting a lot of pressure to post the next chapter...I'm conflicted to post too many chapters too quickly. You know, I thought about your comments more and looking back at OotP, which has been playing on HBO like crazy and Kreacher is very well-spoken in that movie. I know it's not the movies I should be basing on, but I think that's what coloured Kreacher the way that I have. I get complaints all the time about the speed of the story and there isn't much I can do about it now - I wrote it this way and I like slower moving stories rather than ones that assume too much too quickly. Hope you keep reading!

Name: potterchassid (Signed) · Date: 02/05/09 1:33 · For: Chapter 1 - Back to the Beginning
In response to your response to my comment of 02/04/09 3:15:

You have a thick skin, but you should not think I am very critical of your story; I like it and follow it through religiously. I so much like the plot and even your unfairly maligned subplot of George's illness, that I want you to express it as well as possible. Since you are a much better writer than I could ever be, I just offered some points that could make your story even more polished.

And you really do "get" teenagers.

Keep it up and update soon, please!

Author's Response: I'm glad you're still reading it despite all the shortfalls! I can't control the updates here, it's like watching paint dry...but you can catch up to chapter 59 on flannel_fiction, I'll be posting that today ;) Hope you continue to enjoy the story.

Name: adleao (Signed) · Date: 02/04/09 13:01 · For: Chapter 42 - Preparing for the Inevitable
I am loving it. I am sucked into this story...waiting for updates. Please please please..

Author's Response: thank you so much - I have the next chapter in the queue - we can only hope it gets validated soon :)

Name: potterchassid (Signed) · Date: 02/04/09 3:15 · For: Chapter 1 - Back to the Beginning
I am following your story faithfully on your LiveJournal site. While you already posted many chpaters on your site, MuggleNet doesn't show them all quite yet. I know, approval of new chapters takes manpower and time. Anyway, I'd like to comment on the entire story, not just on any particular chapter.

First, the critique: Earlier (must have been around chapter 20 or 30), I had left some review where I pointed out that you begin too many sentences with pronouns (he did this, she did that, etc.) I wasn't so explicitly critical then, but I believe that that critique stands... in the earlier chapters

Secondly, I find that Kreacher neither talks nor acts like house elves do in canon. He is too articulate, doesn't misuse the third person singular, and isn't sufficiently enamored with wizards. Furthermore, he isn't reverend to them, either, just respectful. While Hermione definitely would like it better the way you paint him, I feel it is too much out of character.

Third, you introduced a great subplot with George's mental illness, but then dropped it too early.

Fourth, while you are free to write however you like, I grew very fond of JKR's use of the limited third person perspective.

While points three and four cannot be fixed without thoroughly changing the story, and in fact, aren't crucial to enjoying the plot, I would suggest that you edit your story, especially the early chapters, and deal with the first two points.

Now the praise: you have a great plot, you paint the teenagers entirely in character, despite stretching them beyond canon, and even Hermione, who comes off too wise and psychoanalytical in her dealings with Ginny, is really in character; she is that odd, overly responsible non-teenager, mentally somewhat too old and mature for her body ;-), in a very helpful way.

Furthermore, your writing was good to begin with, but has become even better. Sentences are more descriptive of moods, drag the reader more into the plot, and pronouns are less pronounced ;-).

So, thank you for a great story, continue writing, and if you can, spend some time editing what you have already written. I recall from a transcript of an event at Carnegie Hall with JKR and Stephen King (IIRC), that SK said he spent 3-4 times as much editing his stories as writing them, so don't despair, you wirte like great writers do, just carry through, as well.

Thanks again for a great story!

Author's Response: wow, sounds like you have more jeers than cheers here, but I'm getting a thicker skin with the panning I've been receiving for this story, so I won't hold it against you ;) For your first point, you did make a very valid point and I have since changed that style and I should thank you for that, because it hadn't really dawned on me that it was 'wrong.' With respect to Kreacher...well, I'm using him, that's the long and short of it. I feel like we don't see so much of him that I couldn't take some liberty and make him a more usable character, but I get your point. You probably won't like what I do with him soon, but that has become part of the story, so I doubt I'll be changing it. To the third point, you'll have to keep reading to see if I've really dropped it or not ;) I have pulled it from the forefront, the story is about Harry and Ginny, not George, but it's still there. I think as we move further into the separate chapters I do a little more of the fourth point, but you'll have to tell me ;) I'm glad you're enjoying the story and to be honest, it took me a year to write and edit the story to the point that it was in a format I could be happy with, I have edited some sections of this story so many times I the chapters have changed entirely, so have no fear, I'm all about the edits ;) I hope you continue to enjoy the story and I appreciate the constructive nature of your comments, which is a step up from a lot of people just telling me I outright suck ;) thanks again :)

Name: lovespotter17 (Signed) · Date: 01/26/09 16:55 · For: Chapter 1 - Back to the Beginning
this is an AMAZING story! i've only read a few chapters, but it is sooooo good! you are an awesome author! i'll keep reading!!! :)

Author's Response: I'm glad you're enjoying it!

Name: lovespotter17 (Signed) · Date: 01/26/09 16:55 · For: Chapter 1 - Back to the Beginning
this is an AMAZING story! i've only read a few chapters, but it is sooooo good! you are an awesome author! i'll keep reading!!! :)

Name: FriendofMolly (Signed) · Date: 01/24/09 15:57 · For: Chapter 41 - Wishing for Something Calm
Very interesting. I thought McGonagall and Kingsley wanted Harry away from Hogwarts at the request of the Weasleys. Now that I know why, I really don't think they would, it's just not in their character. I'm just saying. Otherwise, really a fascinating read.

Author's Response: I don't know, given the scope of things, one never knows. Thanks for commenting! Hoping the next chapters comes up soon!

Name: FriendofMolly (Signed) · Date: 01/21/09 18:16 · For: Chapter 40 - Safety is in the Eyes of the Beholder
Now that was just wrong. You have a young hero who loves his lady, and all people can say,"You're not supposed to be here". This MUST be stopped. On the other hand, I hope Neville made out ok. Something tells me, the dementor attack was a diversion or a test. I'm. for the most part enjoying this story. Please finish up the divide between Harry and Ginny.

Author's Response: I'm afraid the break continues for some time, though, if you're reading on LJ or SIYE, we're getting ever closer to the end. Here we haven't even made it to the half-way point of the fic...I've said too much. Did you honestly think, though, given what you know about Gaunt, that he wouldn't lay into Harry after telling him explicitly not to go? I hope you continue to enjoy the story - I found the next chapter to be quite amusing, but then again, that probably isn't a good sign that I enjoy my own fan fiction, right? thanks for commenting!

Name: HxGlOvEr (Signed) · Date: 01/19/09 12:15 · For: Chapter 39 - Tryouts and Tribulations
Uppdate soon

Author's Response: I wish I could, but it's up to the mods to decide to validate stories. Thank you for reading and commenting!

Name: HxGlOvEr (Signed) · Date: 01/19/09 6:42 · For: Chapter 18 - Birthday Surprises

Author's Response: thank you for commenting!

Name: captburke (Signed) · Date: 01/18/09 22:34 · For: Chapter 39 - Tryouts and Tribulations
If I had insulted anyone I'd gladly apologize.

Name: FriendofMolly (Signed) · Date: 01/18/09 21:29 · For: Chapter 39 - Tryouts and Tribulations
What the H? Dementors back at Hogwarts? Where's the protection that should be in place? Who sent them, as they went for Ginny primarily? Please more soon

Author's Response: without Dumbledore, you know it can't be the same protections! I wish I could, the queue is just unrelenting...I'm sure they get a lot of fics, but months to update is really too much.

Name: FriendofMolly (Signed) · Date: 01/18/09 21:14 · For: Chapter 38 - Something to Plan For
Things are still not right between our favorite couple. That is just so sad. I know it's not true, but Kingley's request of Harry and Neville, sounds a lot like what the two previous ministers wanted. And that's not right either.This story just keeps getting more and more compelling

Author's Response: I"m glad you think so - I feel like this story, here, is really behind. I just posted chapter 54 at my LJ com and the reception hasn't been well-received. If you're interested, do check it out!

Name: Alicia Jonae (Signed) · Date: 01/18/09 17:14 · For: Chapter 1 - Back to the Beginning
Sorry I haven't been keeping up with your story, but I was wondering if you could help me out! I'm writing a fic of my own, but I'm a little stumped. If you could email me at alicia_lowrey_05@hotmail.com, I'll give you the details! :) Thanks

Author's Response: I'm not sure I'm in a position to be offering advice to anyone on fan fics - but good luck with yours!

Name: captburke (Signed) · Date: 01/17/09 19:58 · For: Chapter 1 - Back to the Beginning
I never check to see what section a story is in before I read it. I read the summary and if it sounds interesting I give it a try. I read the story until I no longer find it interesting. And, yes, I can deny the 14 yr old comment was a slap in the face. I've met many people over 20 who would love the kind of romance you put in your story. I, however, have not been interested in that type of romance since I was 14, and that was well over 40 years ago.

Author's Response: well thank you for being honest about being insulting.

Name: captburke (Signed) · Date: 01/16/09 15:38 · For: Chapter 39 - Tryouts and Tribulations
My comment on your chapter at the other site was not meant to be an insult. I'm just way too old to be interested in a teenage romance story. A small amount of romance in an adventure story is fun. I am, however, much more interested in adventure type stories.

Author's Response: I'm not fourteen either, so that was rather a slap in the face, and you can't deny that. It is a romance, but as you may find out, if you give the story a chance, the adventure continues more so without the Harry/Ginny angst that you've seen up until now. I don't presume to think you'll keep reading, but if you do, you'll find the adventure part takes over. Though, be aware, this is grouped in the 'romance' section for a reason.

Name: minervassister (Signed) · Date: 01/16/09 7:22 · For: Chapter 1 - Back to the Beginning
Gosh that was an exciting chapter,!Didn't expect to see Dementors again.
Love the story, please keep writing.

Author's Response: glad you enjoyed it! I have many more chapters to go, just don't know how many I'll ever be able to get up here!

Name: harryandginnylover22 (Signed) · Date: 01/10/09 10:41 · For: Chapter 1 - Back to the Beginning
i love this story! you are an amazing writer!!

Author's Response: thank you so much - I'm so glad you're enjoying the story!

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