Reviewer: Vonamberg
Date: 08/13/12 22:16
Chapter: Chapter 52 -House Arrest

I enjoyed your story very much so far, hope you have new chapter soon.

Reviewer: HanCourtney
Date: 06/09/12 9:12
Chapter: Chapter 1 - Back to the Beginning

this was SO GOOD!!!! started reading on here and finished reading on SIYE... seriously, AMAZING!!! well done =D

Reviewer: sylvelle
Date: 09/23/11 11:24
Chapter: Chapter 22 - Stolen Moments

I'm sorry but seeing a man without his shirt is just not that big a deal. Do they all wear shirts and long pants when they go swimming. I know it old stuff, I think it is a bit out of character. But I'm so in love with the story, I'll get over it.
Thanks for writing this.

Reviewer: Darrensgirl
Date: 09/02/11 22:18
Chapter: Chapter 42 - Preparing for the Inevitable

Great work! But I do think kingsly would be nicer to Harry, and at least refer to him as Harry and not just potter. Just my thoughts!

Reviewer: danbillbob
Date: 07/28/11 6:51
Chapter: Chapter 1 - Back to the Beginning

i am on chapter 34 and i thought the first few chapters were good but then things got boring. the same thing happens over and over. i dont think you got harry hermione ron or ginny's personality right

Reviewer: GinnyPotterFan26
Date: 06/07/11 10:04
Chapter: Chapter 48 - What Shall Be, Shall Be

Spelling is something that should never be a concern, what with the ready availability of SpellCheck. Yet you manage to misspell at least a few words in every chapter. On top of that, your grammar is still (at times) atrocious. You flip-flop between ideas and seem to put down whatever might sound good at the time, without bothering to think about its implications to the story as a whole.
I've found multiple examples over the last 48 chapters of instances where you contradict something you've written earlier. One such example stuck in my head for some reason. You said in one of the more recent chapters that, when Gaunt smiled, Harry noted that it was the first time he'd seen anything but a scowl on the man's face. And yet you specifically wrote an instance early on in the story where Gaunt smiled...at Harry...when they were first introduced.
You overuse hyperbole, and you still can't seem to grasp how a normal human being expresses emotion, that it is nigh impossible to go from one extreme emotion to the other at the drop of a hat. Nothing is ever really that cut and dry. You also have a nasty habit of using run-on sentences, especially when misuse of commas is involved. I'll admit, comma rules are some of the most nuance-filled in the world of English grammar, but your mistakes are too frequent to blame on the natural difficulty of the language.
As I've done before, I would like to temper this (slightly) by noting that I do like the general direction of the story. Though this most recent turn of events seems a little contrite, I think you've done an adequate job of portraying this post-Battle version of the world Jo so lovingly created, the world we all know and love. But I'll also repeat myself by saying that it is difficult to appreciate the content, the actual story, while dealing with the incredible distraction of poor mechanics and dynamics.

Reviewer: GinnyPotterFan26
Date: 06/06/11 23:15
Chapter: Chapter 43 - Suppressing Reality

I can't imagine that this was rejected just for something asinine. Your grammar is still a problem and your story is full of contradictions. Sometimes they exist within a single sentence. If your stories were up to the highest level of quality in the basic elements, I might sympathize with your plight about "artistic freedom." But as that is not the case, please be cautious of how quick you are to blame others.

Reviewer: GinnyPotterFan26
Date: 06/06/11 17:55
Chapter: Chapter 39 - Tryouts and Tribulations

"Secretiveness"? Really? It's "secrecy." Please, please have your future chapters get better. I tried reading this story once before and had to stop because I couldn't take the bad grammar. Again, I'll try to temper this by pointing out that your overall plot and much of your character development is quite good, but your understanding of basic mechanics and ability to portray emotions are woefully underdeveloped.

Reviewer: GinnyPotterFan26
Date: 06/06/11 17:02
Chapter: Chapter 36 - Coping with Escape

Your grammar is atrocious at times. You need to find a beta who can help you with that or just take a second (or third or fourth) look through your stories. I'm sorry to come across so harsh, but it's tough to appreciate the story-telling when it's wrapped in such a dingy and tattered package.

Reviewer: GinnyPotterFan26
Date: 06/06/11 10:10
Chapter: Chapter 26 - The Tension Mounts

So, I've now read through half of the chapters here at MNFF. I plan on reading through the story at livejournal, but I figured I'd not wait until the very end to comment.
I'd like to start by saying that many of your ideas have been quite intriguing. I like the general direction of the story, and there have been some very good moments. However, I think your writing style is very amateurish. You have frequent mistakes with grammar and spelling (sometimes with very basic elements), your dialogue is rudimentary at best, you sometimes switch between POVs without much of a distinct plan, and you're prone to allowing your characters vast swings in emotion even within a single paragraph. I know this probably sounds harsh, but I'm trying to give honest criticism. I think there is a lot of potential in this story, but your writing is a little...immature...and could do with some revision.

Reviewer: The Don Vinnie D
Date: 04/17/11 11:01
Chapter: Chapter 52 -House Arrest

This has been a frustrating story. Not in the read, because it is well written. It's frustrating in the fact you associate with the story and characters so well you want to punch certain characters in the nose! LOL
It's been a great read, all the chapters. I'll be looking for the next one. Great Job

Reviewer: Bri411
Date: 02/08/11 13:55
Chapter: Chapter 52 -House Arrest

Hi
I luv ur stories and you r very talented!
R u going 2 write more chapter?
Please do they r great!!!

Reviewer: iloveit100times
Date: 12/05/10 8:42
Chapter: Chapter 1 - Back to the Beginning

I really do love this!! i really need more !! Please :)

Reviewer: intense hp fan
Date: 11/15/10 19:41
Chapter: Chapter 52 -House Arrest

Omg where can i go to get the rest pf the story? plz email me at nikkieb19@hotmail.com asap thank you so much the story is awsome, nikkie aka intense hp fan

Author's Response: I won't be completing the story here, but you can read the rest here: http://community.livejournal.com/flannel_fiction/profile - thanks for commenting!

Reviewer: intense hp fan
Date: 11/15/10 19:33
Chapter: Chapter 51 - The Frustration of Truth

whers harry why cant he talk to ginny uggh soooo intense! keep on going and pump that next chapetr out! :)

Reviewer: intense hp fan
Date: 11/15/10 19:21
Chapter: Chapter 50 - Unexpected Guests

okay this is getting really good im getting to the alst chapeter until the next and i dont want the book to stop!

Reviewer: intense hp fan
Date: 11/15/10 19:09
Chapter: Chapter 49 - Pretending the Truth

wow. its really good! keep up the good work!

Reviewer: intense hp fan
Date: 11/15/10 18:59
Chapter: Chapter 48 - What Shall Be, Shall Be

what the heck is draco doing in the castle, ill jst have 2 read and see, btw the story is soooooo good :)!!!

Reviewer: intense hp fan
Date: 11/15/10 18:50
Chapter: Chapter 47 - Meet Me Half-Way

its really good, keep up the good work;)

Reviewer: intense hp fan
Date: 11/15/10 18:44
Chapter: Chapter 46 - Hoping for an Easy Resolution

I am so glad that gerorge is better! i wonder if he and harry will ever have a proper talk..... ;)

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
MIT: Entente Cordial by Northumbrian 6th-7th Years
A strange and seemingly inexplicable death in London's West End brings an unlikely...
Allegiance by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor 6th-7th Years
During his final year at Hogwarts, Draco Malfoy had few illusions about where...
Through the Mines by Nagini Riddle 1st-2nd Years
Tom Riddle remarks on the power he held while at the orphanage and at school.Written...
FEATURED
Glass over the Flame by the opaleye 3rd-5th Years
Harry, Hermione, and the moments in between. He doesn’t say that this...
Tom Riddle and the Chamber of Secrets by CanisMajor 3rd-5th Years
What really happened the last time someone let the Basilisk out? Harry Potter...
Red Squirrel/Sun Rises by hestiajones 1st-2nd Years
+ He wouldn't celebrate his birthday, but his son had other ideas. + This was...
Sybill Trelawney and the Unexpected Gift by Squibstress 3rd-5th Years
Sybill Trelawney learns to live with her Inner Eye, cooking sherry, and Minerva...
Pat-a-Cake by foolondahill17 1st-2nd Years
Molly Weasley II, called Pat, and twenty-one lot and little-known facts. Or...
Wood by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor 6th-7th Years
Marcus Flint, the infamous Super Seventh Captain of the Slytherin Quidditch...
CATEGORIES