In so few words, you've put so much substance-- really, it is a gift, and I must commend you on that.
I could literally feel the despair that reigns in the mind of the prisoner of Azkaban-- how he had lost everything and had nothing to live for, and how he nearly begged for death because he didn't want to survive in the prisons of Azkaban. I could connect with his emotions somewhere, and I do agree-- dying seems a much better option that living in the hell-hole that is Azkaban that we see in the series.
The total hopelessness of his situation is conveyed in the second stanza-- he is almost counting the days till his death, which, let me add, is not something any normal human would ever want to do. But somehow, for his condition and pitiable state, I do not blame him for doing so. I loved these lines in particular:
"Just a shadow,
My former self is gone,"
However, I did question the use of a comma there. A full stop would have added more finality to the claim, I felt.
The last stanza, in particular, was my favourite one for so many reasons. Perhaps because the last line is so filled with truth and has this finality of ending, though the suffering that the prisoner undergoes is yet not complete. It's incomplete, yet has a finality to it, and that was probably why I loved it so much.
A wonderful, short, extremely poignant piece. Keep up the good work!
Author's Response: Wow! Thankyou so much for the awesome review. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for the tip about the comma. Punctuation is one of my weak points, so I'm always looking for tips there. I'm thrilled you liked the last stanza, it was fun to write. Once again, thankyou for the review! ~HermyRox12
...................................................................................................................................................................................................................................wow.................................................................................................................................................................
Author's Response: I hope that is a good wow. Thanks for the review!
the emotion makes me want to have chocolate.
which is saying something.
you really know how to capture people.
Author's Response: Ooh, chocolate. Yum. Thanks for the review!
I love this poem! It pwns!
Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you loved it! ~HermyRox12
sad. =[
But great- I like the shortness of the poem; you were able to send out the message in so little words. The last two lines are my favorite. :)
Keep writing!
Author's Response: Thanks! I was challenging myself to write a quality poem, with as little words as possible, and I think I did a good job. Thanks for the review. ~HermyRox12
Oooooo, how creepy. My favourite was the first stanza.=Sammy
Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I liked the first stanza as well.
I like it! Alot!!! Woot woot!
Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I had fun writing it.
