good for him burning the damed thing I would too even if I am a girl
This was really nice! The title is a great attention-getter, haha, but the rest of the story does not disappoint. I like how you manage to convey so much of Peter's character through such a short one-shot. Even if I despise that little *&%@! for what he did, I still feel a tendril of pity stirring in my heart.
This really makes alot of sense, but it still doesn't make me like him any more because of what he did. I know what it's like to be a nobody, but never would i do what he did. Sorry, great one shot, and i hope he did put that book in the fire or all their secrets would be out.
Your summary drew me in immediately. Man journal. I love it. XD That's a name of pure gold, right there, it's just brilliant. I really enjoyed seeing Peter writing about that, it was entertaining.
But what I liked even more about this fic was how you started with such an amusing premise and turned it into something so much more serious. Even the secrets started out being amusing, but as he continued writing about each of the secrets, we saw how much pain and bitterness there was in this boy.
Great job conveying both humor and darkness into such a short fic, I really enjoyed it. So, in conclusion, nice fic -- oh, and Happy Birthday! :D
Wow, that was a very interesting read! I have always loved the story of Peter Pettigrew and have even tried writing a few stories about him myself, but I love how you have his life secrets in one 'man-journal' entry. I loved the end when he goes 'screw this. Tomorrow, Man-Journal, you're going in the fire'. That sounds so much like him! Throughout his whole life with the marauders you'd think that the way he is explained and treated he must have just said screw it a long time ago because of how much of an outcast he made himself.
I loved the little comment you made about his mother. She must have been drinking when she bought him the journal. It is sort of like a background check that we have also learned about his mother, and not just Peter and his secrets. So I'm presuming that she likes to drink? lol.
Other than that I really loved it and I'm off to read more of your stories!
Poor Peter. I admire how you wrote his character; you really did Peter justice. In the majority of Marauder fanfics, Peter never gets much of a personality. Heís just the annoying, not-funny, not-smart, not-good-looking, not-anything charity case. But here, he actually has substance. My head thanks you for saving it from being smashed against a wall for the millionth time.
This is deticated to anybody who has ever been jelaous of a friend, at one point or another.
I have just two nit-picks here. Since it was in the authorís note, I have a feeling you just added it in and made a few keystrokes wrong. It should be dedicated, not deticated, and jealous, not jelaous.
I fancy Lily Evans.
When I read this, I literally gasped. Mind you, Iím in a very dramatic mood at the moment, but still. The way it was set up was amazing. The reader never saw it coming. Yet it adds to Peterís argument quite nicely; the Marauders have everything that he wants, including the girl of his dreams. I think it would have been nice to see some more of exactly why he likes Lily so much, to see Lily as more than just a two-dimensional character. You told us she was pretty, nice and intelligent, but what else? My curiosity is both a blessing and a curse.
You had a very unique writing style through-out this one-shot. It really read like a diary (excuse me, man-journal) entry. My favourite aspect of the style was probably the mini-explanations/definitions of the different things and people. Especially the one of himself. If that didnít win the reader over to Peterís side, then nothing you could write would.
The one thing that bothered me the most when reading this was how it was written in past tense. It just seemedÖodd. Usually, when you read a journal, itís written in present or future. Or I suppose itís written in past if itís depicting an event that just happened.
Overall, I really like the entire idea behind this one-shot. I think it defiantly would have had some potential as a really amazing fanfic. Maybe when real life calms down, you should consider continuing it.
Keep up the amazing writing.
Author's Response: Thank you so much! This abosultey postivley made my day! I'm glad your head is okay, lol. I really don't like the character of Peter and that's why I wrote this. To get some perspective into the mind of a man would betray his friends and hand a one-year old over to the Dark Lord. I personally would die a thousand painful deaths before I sold anyone out, even somebody I didn't like. I wanted to understand the way he was seeing things. The past tense was compleley my fault. I can't write tenses for my life. *chokes on past tense because its all she can write* The whole fancing Lily Evans came from a conversation with one of my best friends. She and I have similar dating tastes, you see (competion is fierce for hot guys who like our 'type'. we look so much a like, so we usually attract the same guys. Life's so unfair, lol) and I was thinking that Peter might like the same girl as James does. I mean, who doesn't like Lily? lol That was kind of a last minute addition to the story, so it's well thought out. About the dedication, thank you so much for pointing that out! I'll go fix it right away! *runs off with a screwdriver and some nails* This was a lovely fantastic review, thank you so much. Sorry, I practically gave my life story. But thanks so much, hon! *gives a plate of cookies for helping me and for being so nice*
This is hilarious, but also rings strangely true. This Peter isnít an evil traitor or a fat, slightly gross teenager but a real person. In fact, his only real ďcrimeĒ that we can read in this story is the fact that he wants to be like the Maraunders, which he thinks will make him special.
I loved, loved, loved this part:
ďSeverus Snape- The most loathsome, disgusting person to ever walk the earth. Public Enemy Number One. Reminds me slightly of Peter.
This quote is absolute perfection. Great work!
Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it. I do agree, Peter is a real person and he is mistreated by all our fanfiction writers. As for the quote, I'm glad you liked it. I figure Peter would have low self-esteem and it sort of turned into a mild case of Boderline Personality Disorder. I actucally have BPD, so it gave me some inisght into what Peter might have gone through. Thanks! =]
that was amazing! no siriusly!
although i can just imagine peter boiling whilst watching james and lily kissing... hehe!
Author's Response: Thank you! Love the Sirius pun, btw. :)
Wonderful! This is (obviously) not the first time I've read it, but do you mind if I link it in my beta thread? I really can't get over how much I adore your characterization of Peter. You have done a stunning job :D
Author's Response: Thank you so much!!! Of course you can. Thank you for beta-ing this for me :)
OVER?! COMPLETED?! why:-(? How could you do this to me? Please consider turning it into a series, it has so much potential.
Author's Response: Thank you! I can't turn into a series because I don't have the time. I'm still working on an extremley long chapter of my other story and I started the chapter in the beggining of October. :) Anyways thank you!
Hey Alexandra! :D Anyway, I think it's fresh how you look at things from Peter's point of view. Very, very few people do that because they loathe him and think he's just so... ratty. Also, with this first-person point of view, you can fully use it to your advantage for getting into Peter Pettigrew's head and show everyone that he's not just a pants-wetting, adoring, traitorious fool. And I think it's reasonable for him to be envious, even jealous of his friends. Loved the last paragraph. It's hilarious. :D
Author's Response: Thank you so much!!! I think Peter is more complex than a pants-wetting, adoring, traitorious fool too. :) But not by much. Thank you for the great review!
Author's Response: Thank you!
hey! this is really good! i liked how you did the four secrets and put the definitions of the people or words!! hope u write more *star_sereena_HP*
Author's Response: Thank you! I liked the definitons, too. I figured it would be a fun way to spice up the diary. Er....man-journal. Anyways, thank you so much!
O_o I really liked this! It's very believable, and I mean, haven't we all been there at least once? i've often wondered if maybe there was more to Peter then just a coward. Normally people have a reason, (good or bad) for vbeing the way they are.
Author's Response: Thank you! I agree we all have been jelaous at one point or another. I was thinking about it, and if jelaousy got out of control it could have changed you for the worse. I figure the fact that Peter envied his friends had a big role in his turning evil. Well, anyways thank you! I'm happy you liked it :)
Wow, this is a really good story. It shows really good characterization of Peter, probably better than I could do. I like how you make him understandably and you didn't give him the title of being pathetic or a traitor from the day he was born. You actually make me feel sorry for Peter.
Author's Response: Thank you so much! I have never liked Peter, so I decided to look at him from a diffrent perspective. I'm glad you liked it! Thank you so much!