This was a very sweet poem love. I really think you tried your best to do it (Sev's feelings for Lily) justice.
However, me being the soppy, sentimental, fool that I am, I don't think anything can do what he feels for Lily, justice. And therefore, the only things that do, are those that don't try to.
I really hope that made sense. Severus is a very complex character in himself and his feelings for Lily are beyond explainatory, no matter how much anyone tries. That is just the way it is, or al least to me.:o
As far the poem, it was based on a song I haven't heard so it would be terribly unfair of me to remark on the rhyme scheme and such but I can say that it flowed well and was sad to read, in a good way of course.
Keep up the good work, Julia love. i want to read more from you. *Huggles*=Sammy
Author's Response: Oh thanks Sam. *blushed*. I knew that you would like this story since it involves with Sev. Stand by for another poem coming up. O.o rnrn-J i n x *huggles back*
That was SOOO GOOD
Author's Response: Umm.. gee golly thanks?!? -harryjukudreamer A.K.A Julia xoxo
omg! I remember when you wrote this and I love it! lol! I luv you like a sister and I hope you never change! Keep up the good work! Lauren (retroprincess)
Author's Response: Hey sister! Good luck with your stories and have a wonderful time exploring the muggle world in banner making! -Julia xoxo
I loved it. It was very very well written, and the rhyming was perfect, it didn't go off the rails once! I love your style of poetry. Keep up the great work, I look forward to reading more of your works!
Author's Response: Awww thanks so much. I will look foward to making more. ~harryjukudreamer *huggles huggles*
Hey julia!!! I made an account!!! I like ur story!! I never thought that so many people would like it! hope u reply!!! sereena!!!
Author's Response: Thanks I'm so glad u finally made a account yay ~harryjukudreamer *huggles huggles*
*sniff* poor snape!! good poem!!
Author's Response: Thanks so much hope u liked the poem:P ~Julia a.k.a harryjukudreamer *huggles huggles*
That was a great poem Julia. After reading DH I've really fallen in love with this ship. I have even written and posted somethings. I guess I love the tragedy of it all. Once again, great job.=Sammy
Author's Response: Thanks Sammy! Hope u enjoyed reading it. And sometime we should focus on Snape for a while even though he's not really special :P ~Julia x0xx0 *huggles huggles *
Those last two lines were heartbreaking! Because all he has left of Lily/ Is his Patronus; a silver doe. You get this feeling that he hates that he will always be reminded of her, but that he clings to this last aspect of Lily anyway.
The repeated phrase of Stuck in a World is powerful too, because not only is Snape hating the world he is in, but that he lacks the courage or means to commit suicide; as every stanza begins with it, it reflects the hopelessness of his life and its circuler motion. He merely exists rather than lives.
Author's Response: Thanks so much I really aprecciate your review hope u enjoyed the poem:P ~Julia a.k.a Harryjukudreamer x0x0
This is so extremely sad and powerful.
Author's Response: Thanks so much I really could'nt have done it without Victoria ! But thanks again I'm glad u reviewed my story:) ~harryjukudreamer *huggles huggles*
JULIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *hugs to death* I'm so excited that the poem got on MNFF. :D I remember at lunch looking it over saying 'change this' and 'this sucks!' but it was TOTALLY worth it! *hugs again* xxvictoria
Author's Response: I knoe Victoria its all thanks to u and I mean really! ~Julia x0x0 *huggles huggles*