MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!
(Signed) · Date:
11/08/07 4:01 · For:
Ooh, I really liked this! You really feel for Harry - it must have been so hard for him to have both Ginny and Dean in such close proximinty to him. I love the way you hint at the fact that they both like each other, but never actually come out and say it - this scene could fit perfectly into HPB!
The only criticism I have is that you used the word 'apparently' in quick succession in the first two paragraphs; it just makes it a little jarring. Maybe 'evidently' would work better?
Other than that, a great story! :D
Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it! And thank you so much for your constructive criticism - those are very helpful. Thanks for the great review!