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Reviews For He Loves Him

Name: noblefate (Signed) · Date: 04/13/12 13:34 · For: He Loves Him
I adore next-gen stories about Albus, and this was beautifully crafted. The little hints that Albus was in love, the careful way Rose interpreted what she saw; readers knew what was coming, but it was such a lovely surprise when it all finally came together. Also, I appreciated your use of italics to distinguish which boy Rose was thinking about. Kudos to you for tackling 2nd person and doing such a stunning job with it.

Name: SeekingZenith (Signed) · Date: 06/13/10 19:53 · For: He Loves Him
Oh! *sniffles* This is one beautifully written piece of fanfiction! *hugs* You have captured all the feelings a teenage girl would feel if she found out the boy she loved did not love her back. I give you a tremendous round of well-deserved applause! Keep on writing!
~Ci :D

Name: Helz_Spellz (Signed) · Date: 08/08/09 8:11 · For: He Loves Him
Awww I love that!
I really like the way you used 2nd person, it sounds like Rose is talking to herself, going over all the events in her mind. I think you're right that it wouldn't have been quite the same in 3rd person. Great job!

Name: Luna_Lovegood11 (Signed) · Date: 05/31/09 20:38 · For: He Loves Him
Ooh. This was brilliant.

The whole emphasis on the he thing was really creative. It both showed that, yes, this is slash, and it cleared confusion as to who you were referring to, as you didn't use names.

Which, in itself, was poetic.

Awesome job. xD

Name: Nerissa_vampirechick (Signed) · Date: 04/27/09 6:00 · For: He Loves Him
Wow I nearly vried at the end of that!
Beautiffully written, I love the use of 2nd person.
Loved it
Jenny :)

Name: vampitude (Signed) · Date: 02/09/09 17:29 · For: He Loves Him
I whimpered at the end of this story, no joke. I just want to hug Rose right now.

I must admit, I was very worried when I saw this pairing. But you really managed to pull it off. Using Rose's point of view (albeit in second person) took away any mushiness that might have resulted and gave this story a sharp edge. The characterization of Rose was well made and extremely believable. I liked her reasoning behind loving Albus, since she can't choose who she loved. Too cute!

This was just all in all a well-written story. I was blown away at how powerful it was, considering the plot. Bravo!

Rose (not Weasley!)

Name: kool kat (Signed) · Date: 09/20/08 11:04 · For: He Loves Him
I really loved this. Such a unique storyline, and I loved how each character was extremely likeable despite the love triangle. That's rather rare :)

Author's Response: Why, thank you! What praise. =D I'm so glad you liked all my (or should I say JKR's) characters. This story just seemed to flow so easily. Once again, many thanks. *hugs*


Name: Seer_Witch (Signed) · Date: 09/18/08 17:32 · For: He Loves Him
Awww. I want to hug all of them now! DAMN IT!

Author's Response: Hee. ^_^ I know; me, too.

Thank you for the darling review. *hugs*


Name: liquid_silver (Signed) · Date: 09/06/08 12:43 · For: He Loves Him
This is beautiful. I could feel my heart breaking along with Rose's. It's a perfect example of how happiness for one person most often equals misery for another.
Great job!

Author's Response: Thank you very much for the lovely review. I'm thrilled that you were able to connect with my story. Such encouragement is seldom received online. *hugs* Cheers! ~Julia

Name: Harpotfan (Signed) · Date: 08/07/08 20:01 · For: He Loves Him
Isn't Rose and Albus cousins? Why would she be falling in love with her cousin like that? Isn't that kind of gross?

Author's Response: Why, yes, Robert, Rose and Albus are cousins. As for why she fell in love with him, it is simply because she fell in love with another person. For example, you might fall in love with a girl; you might fall in love with a boy. I, myself, have fancied several girls as well as boys. As humans, I feel we are attracted to other humans regardless of relationship, gender, etc. Now, I understand your feelings in regards to this close family "romance." It's wrong, yes, according to "proper" modern standards (and is, actually, revered and expected in other cultures, but that's another topic), but I feel that that simply adds to Rose's turbulent feelings. It's "strange" for her to be in love with her first cousin just as it is "strange" for Albus to be in love with a boy.

I hope that cleared up any questions you had.

Thank you for your thoughts.


Name: XhayleeXblackX (Signed) · Date: 07/19/08 17:25 · For: He Loves Him
Wow, I must say that you have a way with second person that I have not seen before, and it is great. I like the emotion that Rose puts forth, it's reall and honest.

My only real nitpick is that I can't see her falling for Albus, that just seems out of their character. I like the Albus/Scorpius, just not the Rose/Albus. I think they would be too close as family for her to fall in love with him.

That said, I love the way that you allow the reader to go along with Rose's love for Albus. It's almost as though we half expected it.

And that kiss . . . oh, that kiss was amazingly written. I adored it. It was the perfect moment, and Rose's reaction is perfect as well.

This was beautifully written. Good job.

Name: demoncat17 (Signed) · Date: 04/12/08 16:20 · For: He Loves Him
Awwwwww!!!!! I loved the ending!!!

Author's Response: *grins* Thanks. I'm glad you did.

Name: bertiebott12 (Signed) · Date: 03/28/08 9:38 · For: He Loves Him
Hello Julia!

I really liked this story. What drew me in was the use of second-person point of view, which made the story seem even more vague. You don't see many stories using that, and it was nice to see a fic like that for a change. I was also impressed in how you were in control of your tenses, and I didn't spot any times where you switched, which is a hard thing to accomplish.

I think that it made the story unique, and beautiful without copying the other successful 2nd person fics. It made it sound so much more like a 14-year-old girl saying it, and reminds me of the sadness that my friends and I get over guys. You really dug into the heart of Rose using 2nd person, and it fits your style of writing.

I love the pairings that you put together, but I think that you should have expanded on Albus and Scorpius's feelings for each other. I think that it would make Rose seem like she is going through a lot more than is put forward, and add even more dimension and depth to the story.

I, though it is probably just me, didn't like the way that Rose had a crush on her cousin. I think that it would have made it a lot better if she was angry at Albus for liking Scorpius, maybe because of homosexuality, and the Weasley family disagreeing with those views.

I liked the friendship between Scorpius, Rose, and Albus, but would have liked to have seen more about the "roots or beginnings" or it. A flashback might have been nice, to show when they first became friends, of even the train ride.

I was very confused about them all being in the same house. I liked that you chose Ravenclaw, because I guess it is sort of the house in the middle of Slytherin and Gryffindor. But, like I said, there must have been some explanation for that. Another flashback? The only things about flashbacks, is that it wouldn't have flowed well with your second-person.

Albus and Scorpius's first kiss. Wow, that was moving. I think that you displayed Rose's feelings very well, and you kept on building up to that from the beginning and middle of the fic. We knew it would come, but didn't exactly know where. Wonderful job as to that!

Overall, I enjoyed this piece of fanfiction emmensly, with my few plot nitpicks. You are a great author, and this is my first fic that I have read by you. It actually inspires me to become a slash writer, which is a hard thing to persuade me to do. Great job, again, and I'm looking forward to reading more by you.


Author's Response: Hello Claire!rnrnThank you for the wonderful review. I'm thrilled that you didn't find any discrepancies in the tenses. I worked hard on that thinking this would become a competition entry, which, sadly, it did not achieve.rnrnI'm glad, too, that you felt Rose coming through the story. I like having my characters walk off the page for my readers and I'm always pleased when anyone mentions that.rnrnAs time has gone by, I've felt that it might have been better to capitalize on the friendships between this new trio rather than Rose's romantic feelings toward her cousin (*headdesk*). But I'm afraid I disagree about expounding upon Albus's and Scorpius's feelings for each other. This story was a snapshot and Rose really couldn't positively pinpoint the exact nature of the relationship between Albus and Scorpius. Thus, I don't think it's possible (or quite plausible) to reveal more about Albus's and Scorpius's relationship without Rose catching on and spoiling the story.rnrnIf I had had more time (contest entry, forsooth!), I might have added additional scenes. For instance, the beginning of Scorpius/Rose/Albus would have taken place on the Hogwarts Express. I don't believe Harry, Ron, or Draco spoke badly of one another after Voldemort's defeat. The memories would have been too painful, so I don't think that the kids ever really had that bad footing to start out on. As for Ravenclaw House... I just see Scorpius and Albus as smart lads; and Rose? Well, we know she's smart! Hermione for a mother? Come on... *grins* Harry and Draco could always hold their own, as well. At least, I thought so.rnrnOf course, I'm overjoyed at your reception to The Kiss. That was such a fun part to write and I think you, as a reader, can see that. So, thank you.rnrnI, too, am looking forward to a time when you can read my other works. =) And slash writing ftw!!! Seriously. I hope that you pursue slash fiction. It is--IMHO--some of the best HP fanfiction out there.rnrnThanks again!rnrn~Julia

Name: RavenclawDiamond (Signed) · Date: 03/08/08 10:47 · For: He Loves Him
Wow, I do feel sorry for Rose there, the style was unusual but I liked how you kept their names until the very last line.

Author's Response: Oh, I'm glad you feel sorry for her! And, yes, I agree... the 2nd person was "weird," in a word, but I liked how it turned out. Thanks for the review! =)

Name: Cried4Dumbledore (Signed) · Date: 03/06/08 18:00 · For: He Loves Him
OMG! This is literally what happened to me a month ago {accept of course it was Basketball}, But yea.. scary alikeness. Amazing story!

Author's Response: Oh, wow, really? O_O That's crazy. I'm sorry... for serious. Thank you for the review, though. *hugs*

Name: e_b_rose (Signed) · Date: 02/25/08 21:33 · For: He Loves Him
this is a really pretty story, and I have to try hard not to cry

Author's Response: [Already replied to previous review.]

Name: e_b_rose (Signed) · Date: 02/25/08 21:33 · For: He Loves Him
this is a really pretty story, and I have to try hard not to cry

Author's Response: Aw, thanks... *hugs* I really appreciate your review.

Name: GringottsVault711 (Signed) · Date: 02/24/08 16:54 · For: He Loves Him
Oh, this is a very beautiful story. To begin, I think itís so strange that this is second person point of view, because aside from a few odd ĎYou/Siriusí fics Iíd come across in the queue, Iíd never seen second person used in fic, until this morning when I read ĎA Walk In The Woodsí by bittersweet_lullaby. Itís definitely an odd coincidence I should choose another 2nd person story on the same day, after never having read one at all.

That said, about the PoV. Ďbut I wrote it in 2nd person instead of 3rd, and it doesn't sound the same if I change it.í I totally understand what you mean; Itís a shame really, because my honest opinion is that you wrote the second person very well, and you really made use of what it offered you. But, the point of view just doesnít win me over. You did it well, yes, but Iíd rather see this story with these characters in 3rd person. Same thing with the Ďhim and himí Ė very well done, and I like it butÖ I felt it would fit better in a drabble-fic; the story you have here is well-developed and has enough to capture the reader without the more poetic writing choices.

The only other thing that I wasnít comfortable with was Rose/Albus. I mean Ė the HBP suggestion that Tonks had been in love with Sirius squicked me a little; and that was at least her motherís cousin, not her own, and she didnít really grow up with him as Rose would have with Albus (additionally, Tonks wasnít actually in love with Sirius Ė it was just a theory). And, first cousins, justÖ maybe thatís acceptable in the wizarding world? I wouldnít really see Ron or Ginny being too pleased with any attraction between their children. Itís just something that really stood out to me as Ďdoes she really feel this way about her cousin? Is that really not a bigger deal than sheís making it out to be?í

I think my main points with each is 1) youíre capable of more artistic point of view and writing styles, but youíre characters may be more visible in a more straightforward viewpoint and 2) consider how readers may react to certain relationships and try to account for that. In this fic, aside from switching out characters, which isnít exactly ideal, I think you could have toned down Roseís romantic interest in Albus and focused on her pain as isolation from her two best friends, who for some reason felt it necessary to exlude her. And, often, the lack of a romantic motivation carries a more profound and oddly painful impact.

But now that itís out of the way I can focus on all the things I loved; I assure you, the good of this story definitely outweighed any distaste for second person PoV and kissing-cousins. (I am, however, going to review the rest of this with the mindset that Rose and Albus are not in any way related. Sorry! Canít help it)

*bounces and moves forward to flail and squee*. Okay. So. I really liked the Ravenclaw aspect; that was very nice. I admittedly have read a total of maybe one-two Canon Next-Gen fics? And, Iím totally fine with having Rose and Albus as Gryffs and Scorpius as a Slyth; I sort of like it, actually. But, I also liked that they were in Ravenclaw in this fic; and, it worked really well. It isnít something Iíd want to see other people doing, because I think you did it just right and with the write amount of subtlety without forcibly trying to convince the reader thatís where the charactersí belonged. Very natural and well done.

I also like the Rose/Albus/Scorpius friendship. As I said earlier, I havenít read much Canon Next-Gen, but itís not something Iíve seen around; itís nice, that theyíre sort of like a new trio in their own way. Each of their individual characterisations were also lovely; itís so refreshing to see characters who donít try and mentally ponder their entire personality and life story in the first few paragraphs. I really enjoyed the build up of who they were, and I felt that in small details Ė Scorpiusí Harlequins novels, for instance, *giggle* - I got a more vivid image of these characters than a 1000 word bio in a Character Forum thread.

I really feel for Rose Ė which is a good thing, because we are effectively placed in her PoV. I mean, and this is an example of how well you pulled of the second-person, on one hand, I do see clearly the situation between Albus and Scorpius. As a reader, I sort of already suspect it, but I donít really understand it fully until Rose understands it fully. And, at the same time, while I can see all this between them, I can feel Roseís isolation. The way her perspective is written, she feels like such an outsider; and itís terribly sad.

Albus and Scorpius though Ė that kiss in the Hospital Wing: wow. It was amazing. Just so beautiful and full of love. At first it was so soft and intimate, but as the kiss Ďdeepensí I can just sense the love and passion, and then you use the word Ďfamiliarí Ė itís really gorgeous. It wasnít overdone or anything, it was just pure and it really spoke to me.

And then weíre brought back to Roseís pain; and itís really awful. I would think badly of her, perhaps, if it was just about jealousy. But it really is more than that; itís not just losing a chance at love, itís having a secret kept from you by your two friends, and being made an outsider. She lost a lot in that moment, more than just romance. The fic finishes on a very poignant note, and itís almost a little hopeless except that youíve painted such a lovely, tender, meaningful dynamic in the boysí relationship.

Yes, gorgeous story, dear. :)

Name: Rhi for HP (Signed) · Date: 02/07/08 19:36 · For: He Loves Him
OMG!!! This is awesome!!!!! I loved the very unconventional writing style, especially in contrast to the last line, when the names are finally used. So sad! Very well done-- this is going on the favorites list!

Author's Response: Thank you so much. =) I'm so thrilled you enjoyed the story ... and that you liked the style. You've brightened my evening, which was pretty shoddy. *hugs* Thank you again. =)


Name: Lizz (Signed) · Date: 01/26/08 16:29 · For: He Loves Him
Loved it! And I really liked the way you wrote it.

Author's Response: Aw, thanks Elizabeth. I'm so glad you enjoyed it. I certainly enjoyed writing it! =)


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