That was quite beautiful. I think I like the other line 'for if love and way of life...' better than the one you have in the poem. But overall, very very nice. Well, maybe nice isn't the best word.
Are you familiar with the musical Sweeney Todd? This poem rather reminded me of the song 'Epiphany'. That's good. :)
Author's Response: Thank you! No, I've never seen it, but I went and looked up the lyrics - it's really morbid, but cool! I may have to go see it now ... and thanks again! :D Tickled Pink
I thought your work was really awesome. You described things as if it was REAL
Author's Response: Thanks! Tickled Pink
That was... terrible. And great. I feel like I need to go take a shower. This was very dark, but I found it quite visceral. A few lines that felt like a punch to the gut:
"Perhaps we are the last, or maybe there are dozens more
Waiting for their chance?" - The frantic hope in that line kills me.
"Too soon were the dead abandoned, their tomb the battered grass
Or deserted street or cluttered kitchen." - Absolutely terrifying and *real*.
"...if He put down his wand..." - Voldemort is a capital "h" person now? From that single *letter*, you reveal how powerful he's become, and just how defeated the survivors are.
Oh, and I prefer the line that you chose for the ending. Either one would have worked, but mentioning specific loved ones humanizes the nameless characters, since we all know that desperate pain of losing someone. The casualness of the successive way you listed the dead loved ones really drove home the hopeless aspect. There's no coming back from that kind of loss, so why fight?
That was heavy stuff. I'm going to go hug my family now.
Author's Response: Wow, thank you for your lovely review! Yeah, I think I'm happy with the line I chose too, I'm just a terribly indecisive person! Tickled Pink
*sniff* that's depressing!! but a good poem!!
Author's Response: Thanks! :D