aww...this was very well written. Enjoyed it lots :)
wow...that's so hermione!
and i absolutely loved it!!!
to want the three of them to just be themselves without any complications or interferences...to just be friends
ooo she secretly wishes harry was normal does she...
Wow. Well done. Good idea, well executed.
Oh, how did I miss this getting validated? *blinks* I still love this story, and I think you've done well with Harry and Ron's characterisation.
And the ending is totally unexpected. :D Don't worry about it being too obvious. :)
I've already submitted this ridiculously long review twice, but the computer keeps logging me out and deleting what I've written and I am not a particularly good typist, so please excuse if this review is a bit terse.
i like your use of peeves, it makes the story seem even more canon. It also made me realize how few fanfiction writers use peeves. I wonder why?
I'm surprised that you made hermione see the absence of harry's scar. speaking as someone who identifies with hermione a little too much, I would think that she would have seen something else. she's eleven, for goodness sakes. eleven year olds are more selfish than that. and she's only been part of the wizarding world for 4 months, and harry and ron's friend for 2 months. I'm just surprised. I would expect this more after the 7th book, or even the 6th or 5th, but not now.
other than that, I really liked story and I liked the premise a lot.
thank you for not making hermione see ron. I was worried that would happen...then I reread your summary and realized you were not that sappy.
Ahem. *wipes eyes* I need to say something. Well, knowing myself I’ll be saying lots of things, but the thing that matters is - thank you!
To tell you the blunt and honest truth, I’m not a big fan of Hermione in fanfiction. Few authors write her the way I want to read her, and way too many turn her into a piece of meat with brains. There’s more to her than that, and I’m glad to find another person who recognises this, ;)
Ah, yes, that over and done with, where do I begin? Perhaps with characterisation. I already mentioned that I approve of how you write Hermione, but it’s the same with Harry and Ron. And not only do you write them well in character, including their dialogue, but you write them as if they were actually eleven- and twelve-year-olds. Most impressive.
I especially like Harry’s regret and concern as he worried about having exposed Hermione to something that might hurt her - in my eyes, that is so incredibly typical for him. Ron is his clumsy, blunt self, isn’t he? *chuckles* I love how you’ve included his feelings for Hermione, and how you prove to us that he did not, after all, mean any harm. What can I say? Ron in a nutshell. :)
But I need to return to Hermione for a moment. You’ve captured her so well, with her analytical self and appropriate reactions to the mirror. And when I say ‘captured’, I mean more than her character – I mean her heart and soul. Lots of people seem not to understand exactly how much she cares about Ron and Harry, but you’ve come up with the perfect way of showing it to us. Her heart’s deepest desire, to see the three of them without worries and grief and always happy, shows how tremendously unselfish and good-hearted she is. Ah, it makes me so happy!
Now, what also doesn’t hurt is that your language is excellent. I find that I often compliment authors because their styles are very ‘JKR-ish’ or clean, or because they use description cleverly, but with your writing I think it’s enough to mention the flow. I didn’t think about your writing at all while I read; I never stopped to consider it but was only captured by the meaning of your words. And while I like to be knocked off my feet by a stunning description of some random scenery, what you’ve done here is much harder to accomplish. It is, I believe, the kind of writing that can never be forced, but that flows from the fingertips of an inspired and naturally talented author.
Oh gosh, the gushing. I should probably stop now, shouldn’t I? I’m afraid I have no constructive criticism to offer – this is a true gem you’ve shared with us here. Thank you!
I like how you think! Hermione's desire is a two-fer; for the three of them to be together and for Harry to have a normal life. Nice!
Author's Response: Thank you for your review! It seemed fitting that Hermione's desire would have a bit of complexity to it, since she's so darned smart.
This is an AWESOME story! Great take on it. I, too, got a little teary-eyed. : )
Author's Response: Gosh, thanks! I'm relieved that the ending had an emotional impact, and not just a big "Huh? What did I just read?" :D
My heart skipped a beat...that was one thrilling ending!
Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad the misleads worked. For some reason I was afraid it would be obvious! Phew! :)
My heart skipped a beatt...that was one thrilling ending!
*sniff* that's so sweet that that's what she wants the most!! *sniff again* good story!!
Author's Response: Aw, sorry to give you the sniffles! I thought it fit Hermione - simple enough, but SO complicated. Thanks for your review!
Oh wow. That was great. Sad in a way, but fantastic!
Author's Response: Thank you! The canon happy ending takes the edge off a bit.
that was so sad. I LOVE IT
Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you still enjoyed it despite the buzzkill potential.
Oh, that was so sad, it nearly made me tear up! [Actually, if I was the sort of person who cried and had eaten a little less sugar, I probably would have.]
Funny, I never thought about what Hermione would have seen - I really like your take on it! I think your characterisation of the three, in their more childish forms [I think we're all a bit used to them being 15 or older] is perfect.
Oh, the saddest part is that her deepest desire is impossible. Even at the very end, they've still all been too deeply effected by Voldemort for it to be as if it never happened ... damn thats depressing!
Anyway, well done on a lovely story!
Author's Response: Thanks so much! I almost placed it during 5th year (somehow), but it seemed more poignant for her to see the Mirror while they were still too naive to know just how good things would never be.