Reviews For What Lies Beneath
Reviewer: Nagini Riddle
Date: 07/16/12 0:11
Chapter: What Lies Beneath

Goodness gracious great ball of fire! I absolutely hate this bittersweet endings! But I loved the story! You have such nice imagery, and beautiful figurative language! It was magnificently well-written! Great job!

Reviewer: MissBean
Date: 05/13/08 21:10
Chapter: What Lies Beneath

Ahh, this is so beautiful. So in depth and in character...
The last line though, completely gave me shivers. Perfect.

Author's Response: Thank you very much - I'm glad you liked it!

Reviewer: i love prongs
Date: 11/15/07 15:36
Chapter: What Lies Beneath

loved it!

Author's Response: Thank you!

Reviewer: Merlin the Weirdster
Date: 11/06/07 7:08
Chapter: What Lies Beneath

aww... poor remus..

Author's Response: Thank you for your review!

Reviewer: kittykat
Date: 11/05/07 22:53
Chapter: What Lies Beneath

i love it...i know how it feels to love/like someone and not be able to have them..i love how remus expresses himself and i love "After all, all that matters is what lies beneath" i wish someone would make a fic about lily/remus or sirius/lily..but its hard since we all know that james and lily get married..lol..



Author's Response: Thank you - yes I know this story is a bit sad, but sweet all the same. I'm glad you enjoyed it!

Reviewer: Roommate of the Quillster
Date: 11/05/07 19:11
Chapter: What Lies Beneath

This story is positively heartbreaking. Poor Remus

You have a pretty good grasp of his attitude here, and I do like seeing the darker side of him. Its nice to see the conflict of loving your best friends girl and what happens in that context.

The biggest thing I could say is that everything happens too fast at the end. The beginning is nice, you set things up well, and then suddenly Remus is kissing her. I honestly think that he thinks more of James than that impulsiveness running through him.

Perhaps he has a few more thoughts going through his head. Perhaps he feels a few more things or even thinks he shouldnt be doing this as he goes down to kiss her. Maybe its even the fact that he doesnt know what to do when shes actually there for whatever reason she is there.

You left the story loose for interpretation, which is nice. The vagueness works for you. However, I have noticed that you are a bit em dash happy. And that is okay but make sure you mean it before you draw attention to them. :) Like here:

eager to keep her warm and then she is gone, wrapped in the arms of her lover.

A comma would probably be just as effective there. Em dashes draw attention to the sudden change of thought in the sentence.

Other than those two minor things, I really liked your interpretation of Remus in this situation. You wrote him well, and I enjoyed the directness of your writing. Nice job!


Author's Response: Wow - thank you so much for your helpful review! I agree that I am dash happy :) and that I rush things a bit too much, but I am glad you liked the story! I might go back and review it some more....

Reviewer: loveismagicharry
Date: 11/05/07 15:27
Chapter: What Lies Beneath

It was good, but I am veyr against Lupin loving Lily.He loved Tonks!It was really pretty though

Author's Response: To each his own - I was merely reacting to that one line in the POA movie where Lupin says, "She [Lily] was there for me at a time when no one else was..." Also, Lily was in his life ages before Tonks was, so he very well may have had a crush on her. Glad you liked it, and thanks!

Reviewer: peevesismyhero
Date: 11/05/07 15:26
Chapter: What Lies Beneath

i REALLY like this. its such an interesting idea for a story and i love how you write it. its sort of poetic and formal but at the same time really real, you know? maybe i sound like a blabbering idiot...hmm. anyway, the point is i like it!

Author's Response: Thank you very much - you're not blabbering at all! I'm glad you enjoyed it - it is the first story I've written that I actually thought about, you know? Thanks again!

Reviewer: padfootfangirl
Date: 11/05/07 13:38
Chapter: What Lies Beneath

wow...really love the story! it finally shows moony as more than that random werewolf guy that occasionally enters Harry's life...
it shows him as passionate.
you better write more!

Author's Response: Thank you! I wish I had time to write more - if you like this story, perhaps you may want to check out some of the other ones I've written.....thanks again!

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
The Green Knight Rises by Kerichi 6th-7th Years
In Creevey Wizard Comics, the Green Knight aids those in need under the cloak...
Friends and Foes by Northumbrian 3rd-5th Years
It took Harry and his friends years to discover who killed Colin Creevey. Ginny...
Not From Others by FloreatCastellum 6th-7th Years
She may not have been able to join Harry, Ron and Hermione, but Ginny refuses...
FEATURED
Wild Card by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor 6th-7th Years
It was going to happen eventually: Oliver Wood had to retire. But when the decision...
Half-life by welshdevondragon 3rd-5th Years
Neville has the rest of his life ahead of him, but all he can do is look back...
Skinny Love by xxbabewithbrainsxx 6th-7th Years
“I’ve always been chubby. Admit it.” “You’ve never been skinny...
Tigerlily by Maple_and_PheonixFeather 3rd-5th Years
You promised yourself you'd never hurt her, but there are times when you wonder...
Astriferous by Padfoot11333 6th-7th Years
Merope Gaunt has never been celestial.Nominated for a 2014 QSQ - Best Dark/Angst. Nominated...
CATEGORIES