Name: Padfoot Patronus
(Signed) · Date:
07/07/08 4:13 · For:
Part II: Pursue
Reading Blame was 'Like pouring salt in a fresh wound'. Literally!
Enjoyed it very much, Megan. Specially Pursue.
I'm guilty of feeling sad for Peter after reading Part One, owing to your detailed exploration of his mind. In the end, the line 'in running, he left his guilt behind' accurately describes the 12 years he cowardly spent as an Animagi.
Part Two was just torture. A blantant torture from Megan to all Sirius loving fans.
I love how your incorporatation of the voice of the inner self makes Sirius appear very vulnerable and then how his anger helps him bring back the composure.
I hoped that you elaborated when you wrote 'And Sirius had had plenty of experience with his anger' but I guess that would've affected the well achieved continuity of this chapter.
I liked this line very much as it sums up well how Sirius saw Peter throughout their years of acquaintence.
He saw the eleven-year-old boy that they’d met years ago. He saw the teenager that they’d laughed and planned pranks with. He saw the man that they’d trusted.
He saw the man that had betrayed that trust. He saw the coward. He saw the spy.
I think the information you give us in paragraphs was better being eliminated or else written without the paragraphs. It sort of distorted the flow of the story, and reminded of the horror of school textbooks "(refer to page no. blah)"
Keep it coming.
Pissenoffanis (Anonymous) · Date:
10/18/07 0:09 · For:
Part I: Run
I like the way you've shown his guilt battling with himself. It would have taken a lot to betray friends like that - friends that you have known since school. The way you've portrayed him running away from his guilt was very strong.
Author's Response: Thank you, Pissenoffanis. I'm glad you enjoyed the fic, and I have to agree, it would have taken a lot for Peter to betray everyone to the degree that he did. As much as I can't stand him and wished he'd died a very, very, VERY dark and painful death, there is more depth to him (in my opinion) than a one-dimensional villain. And character depth is something that I love exploring in fics. rn