that was good! one of my favorite chapters so far! and even the marijuana part fit in!!
PLEASE UPDATE SOON!!!!! ☺☺☺
Author's Response: Ha, I'm glad you thought the marijuana part fit in even though I didn't (but I had to slip in an amusing Muggle reference). ThanxX! :)
Ok, so far I really, really like this fanfic! I hope you keep it up because it's really good! I particularly like Hermione and Draco's banter. I hope you keep them at each other's heals even after the sexual tension kind of comes to a head and breaks. I think they keep each other on their toes and Draco gives Hermione an intelligent comrade, which I really like! Please keep up the good work. My only criticism is I wish the chapters were longer, but I don't know what you have going on, so not a big deal. Quality over quantity first. Oh, and I also like Ginny in this fic, which is saying something because I'm really not a Ginny person, but I like how she's very observant of Hermione's character (in what she can be)
Author's Response: I'm so glad you're enjoying this FF so far, and yes, the chapters are short compared to other FF's, but as you say, if people enjoy it, then I'm happy--and if I leave a reader wanting more length, then a plus for me! :) I'm glad you enjoy the banter, it's tons of fun to write! I enjoy writing Ginny's dialogue, and like you, I'm not a fan at all of her character, but since she's so blunt, she gets a lot of good lines. Thanks for your detailed thoughts, it's appreciated! :)
nooooooo....it isn;t suppost to end yet!!! hurry and write more! it is getting good!
Author's Response: Ahahaha, more chapters will be added, but I've already written the chapters beforehand, but I need to edit them to utmost perfection!! :)
Looking forward to the next chapter. Really enjoyed the back and forth between Draco & Hermione.
Author's Response: Ah, Draco and Hermione's verbal exchanges are like ping-pong1 Thanks so much for leaving a review! I'm so glad you enjoyed it. :)
ahhhh i love it.
and lavender is getting on ma nerves.
that girl needs to chill.
haha.can't wait. :]
Author's Response: Lavender pisses me off as well, but she's necessary for ensuing catfights! (Just kidding). Thanks for reviewing! :)
i'm positively entranced by the new twist on the old Dramoine ship. it's much better written than most, and i think the emotions are well played. though i could live with more draco.
Author's Response: Oh, I wish you had told me what kind of "new twist" I had put on this story!! Either way, I'm glad that you think my story has a twist. Thanks so much! :)
Payback's a bitch, and it's on your heels, Draco. Well well well! Nott certainly has a biy of an attitude, doesn't he?! He'd better watch it, else I can see Draco going medieval on this kid's ass and it is NOT going to be a good thing. Am I right in assuming you're going to write the Quidditch match? I think that'd be the best way for Nott to enact whatever revenge he has planned...
"Think about what?" “Us." Brilliant lines. Short, simple, and VERY effective. Nearly sent me off my chair.
Ostentatiously ...great word!
Speaking of Ron...what a git!! Kissing Hermione when Lavender (ugh) and him are together?? Is this boy mental?? Although obviously her fears are not too misplaced...all Lavender has to do is switch around the people and she'll be right on-target with her suspicions...
The dream was very interesting. At first I didn't realize it was a dream (which worried me...how did Harry know they kissed??), but once I re-read it, it made more sense. Or as much sense as a pockmarked man riding a purple winged lion could make. Hahaha. And please, refresh my memory, but wasn't there a prison or bars in Draco's dream too? Because that would be uncanny (in a good way).
My one critique: I don't know how appropriate the marijuana reference was. Hermione would certainly know about it, but it just felt weird in the context of their argument. Maybe a spell or potion with similar side-effects would have been better there.
Other than that, really good chapter!! Keep up the good work!
Author's Response: Nott is on the antisocial side, so yes, when he actually does have shall we say, "human contact", he does have quite an attitude. As for what Nott intends to do, I hate to say this, but "time will tell..." The "us" line made me grin to write it, and I'm happy that you almost fell off your chair (either literally or metaphorically, it's very flattering!) Ron is a comic relief character in my eyes, but he has an insensitivity chip--kissing Hermione when he's with Lavender definitely is bad judgment (and also kind of presumptuous that he assumes that Hermione is in like with him as well...and she discovers the hard way that she actually ISN'T). I italicized the dream to indicate it was a dream, but maybe that wasn't made too clearly? Either way, the purple-winged lion seemed to establish it was a dream, so that's all good. :) As for Draco's dreams, he actually hasn't had a dream with prison bars, but he HAS experienced that same trapped feeling in his dreams (when he's in the caves and can't evade Lord Voldemort, for example), so their dreams do share some similarities. As for the marijuana reference, I complete agree that it was a little out-of-place, but I did say that it was bordering on OOC in the author's note. I wanted a Muggle reference that would complete boggle Draco, a change of topic, and something very unexpected, so I chose marijuana. Perhaps I could have chosen something, but I knew I needed something from the Muggle world to be mentioned by Hermione. Thanks so much for your detailed review!!! :)
Author's Response: In my haste to respond, I meant to say "Perhaps I could have chosen something ELSE". You probably could have figured that out yourself, but it bothered me so much when I read my reply to your review...anyways, thanks for reviewing so thoughtfully once again! :)
Loved it! These lines especially tickled my fancy:
“Almost hurt my feelings there, Granger..."
I just thought that was really funny and very, very Malfoy.
“Us.” It was amazing how one word, one syllable could make her feel like she’d been doused in lethal poison.
Clever, clever :)
I can't wait for more!
Author's Response: I'm so glad those lines "tickled your fancy" (BTW, great phrase there!) Thanks so much for leaving a review as always! :)
I really like your story! You have a very prefesional way of writing. Please continue updating this story!
Author's Response: Thank you! :)
The kiss was so unexpected, I swear I didn't see it coming, and I was just dumbfounded when it happened!
Author's Response: So was Hermione! :)
Can't wait till the next chapter!
Author's Response: ThanxX! :)
COULD YOU FRIGGIN' FINISH THAT?
Maaaan. And your Restless chapter can't be viewed. Dude, I love your stories.
Author's Response: Ahahahaha, thanks a lot! :)
ahhhhh i love it!
i cant believe it.ahhh sooo awesome.
i cant wait till chap.10 is validated.
Author's Response: Thanks! :)
"And the sky is blue. Are we done here? Please, God, let this conversation end with a ‘yes’.”
I liked that line. Their conversation was amusing. I'd like to hear more about why draco kissed her though. Had he planned it all along or did he do it despite his hate to try to speed the process up and finish his task? And his thoughts afterwards? Does he regret it? Update soon =)
Author's Response: I'm glad you liked that line. :) And as for whether Draco had planned it all along, if you reread it, you'll find that it was a bit of a mutual kiss. Thanks for reviewing! :)
I liked these lines:
"...and a maddening stare Medusa would have been proud of."
“I’m going to have to ‘Lather, rinse, repeat’ to understand that one,” Ginny said with a slight smile.
"Undoubtedly because I have no aptitude for Divination,"
He was staring right at her with piercing grey eyes that made her feel like she was being X-rayed for cancerously concealed thoughts and feelings.
I really enjoyed the chapter. Hermione's spastic fit of rage was most entertaining. As for the kiss... I'm glad that it happened, but to be completely honest with you, it was so abrupt I had to read it twice to actually realize what happened. A bit more detail or a more drastic reaction to it might have been in order.
I loved it! Keep up the good work. I can't wait for the next update!
Author's Response: I'm glad you liked those lines and that you found Angry Hermione entertaining (she says more pithy things when she's angry, don't you find?) The kiss was written abruptly because it HAPPENED abruptly, and it FELT abruptly. As for the drastic reaction, Draco left a bit too quickly for that to happen, and Hermione was in denial (or at least, she wanted to be). Thanks for such a detailed review! :)
since u askd which lines we likd ummm.....i likd malfoy at th end wen he sed im in it.....the medusa thing was funny....the shampoo thing was original.....wen hermione thinks "ill never tell"
Author's Response: Anytime I can mention Medusa, I grab the chance (both in real life and when writing stories). Ginny's line about the lather, rinse, and repeat seems to be a hit. Thanks for leaving a review! :)
nice chptr i like it well done
thnk god they dont all of a sudden fall in love and secretly meet and malfoys all unmalfoy like
if tht happnd....sorry but sum stories r so lame wen they do tht
i like this one it was funny too
Author's Response: Cliches ARE weak and lame, and I do my best to avoid them in my story. Thanks for your thoughts! :)
So, I'm back again with another review for another fantastic chapter.
Your vocabulary is still great with words like ignominious, scarpered, apoplectic.
Also, your descriptions are still amazing; they definitely create images in the reader's mind and I could actually see it happening as I read it.
Lines I liked a lot (I liked all the lines!) were She knew she must look a real mess—red with anger, flyaway hair, and a maddening stare Medusa would have been proud of. I liked this a lot because the description of her appearance was great; like I mentioned before, I could actually see it in my head!
The dialog is still brilliant; Ginny made me laugh at times, especially when she said, "I’m going to have to ‘Lather, rinse, repeat’ to understand that one."
The characters are, as they always were, in character and Hermione's anger outburst was believable and written very well; it wasn't over dramatic, causing Hermione to get out of character.
Draco's character is still as slimy as ever, which is great characterization from you. And his last words were chilling...you ended the chapter so well!
I'm really looking forward to another chapter. Thanks for bringing us such an amazing story.
Author's Response: I'm glad that my words were able to provoke images in your mind--it means my job was done well. :) Ginny's shampoo-inspired line was fun to write, and it seems to be a hit with most. Ah, keeping my characters in character, the challenge of any FF writer--thank you so much for your kind words. Draco, slimy? I can't disagree, because he really is...ergo, getting under Hermione's skin. Heheheheh...Thanks for leaving a detailed review! :)
Ohhhh man!!!! Okay, you're really just getting better and better. You captured Hermione's anger brilliantly in this chapter. I was fuming right along with her.
Your adjective/noun pairings are amazing. ignominious pain, cancerously concealed thoughts You have a great vocabulary too. Dalliance, contemptuous, mortification, mitigating...They're power words and you're really utilizing them to their utmost.
You had some killer one-liners, too. with the ease you’d find in a conversation between friends…or sworn rivals. Which was what they were, completely and utterly. That she had to remind herself of that fact so constantly perturbed her. Okay, not a one-liner, as such, but still really good and really indicative of Hermione's frazzled frame of mind.
Women...What, you thought I meant Mudbloods? No, I decided to take a tip from what you said—I do get repetitive with my material sometimes, but it’s only because it’s the first word that comes to mind when I see you. Oh he is so snarky!!
Especially this last bit. “I’m not under your skin now,” he said. “I’m in it.” Oh that boy is PURE EVIL. Like, the picture I had of him in my mind this whooooole chapter is this smirking, grinning, conniving, and absolutely irresistible man who is tempting and teasing Hermione more than she ever thought possible. It's insanity. I can't believe she hasn't hit him because seriously, if I had this conversation with him, it would've been a hearty slap and then the kiss (which was great, by the way!)
Your dialogue is still top-notch, although I think the plot got lost a little bit in this chapter (which isn't really a bad thing, even. Or perhaps it wasn't lost at all as it's part of his mission to get her). Either way, you brought it [the plot] back with the KILLER last line, And on that note, he left, in her skin at last.
Great job so far. I can't wait to read more!!
Author's Response: Ah, reading your reviews are always so fun to read...Anyways, thank you for your compliments on my vocabulary and pointing out all the lines you enjoyed (as tradition would have it between us)! Writing Draco in this chapter was just too much fun--as you say, he was "smirking, grinning, conniving, and absolutely irresistible" and overall, just being a right bastard to Hermione (which was so much fun to write!!!). In PoA when she slaps Draco, she slapped him because he was insulting Hagrid (and plus, that whole hatred thing). In HBP, I think Hermione has matured from "Muggle duelling"--if she were to hurt him in any way, I think she'd use her wand (as she did to Ron, by sic-ing birds to peck Ron to death). Thanks for leaving another delightfully long review! :)
Yay for an update! This is one of my favorite stories, I love how it's not a cliche Dramoine! And since you asked for favorite lines, mine would have to be the last paragraph. I loved when Draco said "I'm not under your skin now, I'm in it." That was amazingly written! Can't wait for another update!
Author's Response: Oh, that last paragraph was so fun to write, and I'm glad you liked it. Thanks for your thoughts--I'm glad my story isn't a cliche, as you say. Thanks for reviewing! :)