*sobsobsob* This is really very good... it made me cry... and God I wish they hadn't died... 10/10
Author's Response: Thank you for the 10/10. :) I am working on chapter one (there were some delays, but it should be up in the next couple of weeks.) ~Fauna
This poem sent chills up my spine, FaunaCaritas. It's amazing, beautiful. *ogles*
What struck me in the beginning was the excellent word choice, i.e.: ‘stage of life’, ‘battle’s strife’, and the ‘poisoned dart’ that pierced Tonks’ heart. The imagery is beautiful and powerful, and it really…gets through to the reader, if that makes sense. I could almost feel that poisoned dart. Also, your rhyming is great. I love how you didn’t simply stick to easy words to rhyme with but sort of…branched out. I dunno. It just struck me as well done. =D
I love the transition stanza where Tonks went from life to the afterlife, and I love how the rhyme scheme changed to stress that. It's creative and well done, it definitely worked - that stanza is when I started getting goose bumps. I'm dazzled. (Which may be because the computer screen is hideously bright in this dark room, but I think it's because of your poetry, m'self.)
I love the rhythm of this poem - I only found one place where it seemed to falter:
Like the stars of heaven in a deep lake mirrored.
It either had too many beats or too many words to make it unwieldy enough to catch my notice.
I've rarely seen poems that use dialogue like you did within the poem - I think it's great and ingenious, honestly. =D However, when both Tonks and Remus spoke in one stanza, I found it confusing at first, but there’s nothing more you can do there. The quote marks eventually told me someone else was talking. *rolls eyes at self*
All in all, this is a beautiful poem dedicated to Remus and Tonks. *sneakily favorites it*
Author's Response: *faints* *recovers* *faint again* Kate.... I am speechless. This review was encouraging, helpful, and insightful, all at the same time. Thank you for taking the time to give me your in-depth opinion. This is a review that will help me improve. I have taken note of all your pointers; they will be so useful next time I put my quill to poetry again. ;-) If you get the chance I would love your insight into my Challenge Entry: Broken. Grazie mille! ~Fauna
-The dialogue flows really well.
-The change in the rhyme scheme to show transition is really cool.
By the way, "shining" has only one "n"
Author's Response: Thank you! I'll fix that. *hugs* ~ Fauna
Composing rhyming poetry and telling a story at the same time? How easy you make it seem! I find it hard to write poetry from someone elses POV. Well done! Very simple, straight to the point and yet heartfelt too.
Author's Response: Thank you. I was really upset when JKR killed off Remus and Tonks, so this was kind of a tribute to their lives and their love. I am glad that the heartfelt-ness came through. ~ Fauna
I really liked this poem, especially the part that explained how they were both killed, the revenge she sought, the heroic fall after defending others. It just seems to have touched my heart somehow.
Author's Response: Thanks. The image struck me too, so I wrote it in! Somehow I couldn't bear the thought of Tonks being the first to go. Maybe poor Remus didn't have to see another loved one fall; I hope that it was a quick and painless end for him. On the other hand I always imagined Tonks as going down fighting. Just fits her personality. Anyway, huggles for the review.
Beautiful, heartfelt poem.
I could feel the pain Tonk's experienced when Remus died. Well done.
I love your version of how Tonk's possibly died in battle. It is a missing piece that many have voiced they would like to know and I thought you wrote it superbly.
Author's Response: Thank you, Lacey. I'm sure you know how much it means to have someone drop by and leave a review. Your praise encourages me to not only write more, but keep trying to write better! Have a wonderful Christmas. ~Fauna
Oh, wow! Congratulations! That was so good, I really loved it. It really deserved first place, and it got it. I'm so impressed.
Author's Response: Thank you, abbs866. What an honor; I was thrilled! These reviews and this win have been a big moral booster for me. Keep your eyes open for my up and coming full length fic. ~Fauna
That was absoutley amazing and it made me cry!!!!!!!!! ( I know, wimp)
But I truly loved it. Thanks for the great poem!!!!!!
Author's Response: I am so happy you loved it, marvelousmeg. I am kinda glad you cried too (if you know what I mean.) Remus and Tonks were my favorite adult characters in the series. I wrote the poem to give me closer. I still morn their passing sometimes. Guess I'm a wimp too ;-)
Now I'm getting kinda tired of saying how much I love your writing. First off, the title is great. And I loved the poem and its simplicity. Long, difficult, symbolic poetry is not for me (yeah I can't use my brain that much =P). So yeah, loved how nice and easy this poem is, but at the same time beautiful. And "The End... or is it?" Ah, the perfecto ending. Great job! *adds author to favourites* =D
Author's Response: Oh my gosh.... you do not know how happy you just made me. *sits staring at the screen happily for a whole minute* ...and I'm so happy you approve of the short/simple strategy. I think successful poetry must be comprehensible or the poet has missed the point of poetry altogether! You're not supposed to read a poem and be left sitting there thinking "..." Once again, thank you! Encouragement is so... encouraging. *huggles* ~Fauna