I thought this story was wonderful, an interesting take on interhouse unity. I'm very, very anxious to read the next chapter!
Wow, what a powerful piece. Orla was right. The headmaster would have expelled anyone else, but didn't do so to Harry Potter. Great job! I loved it! Also loved the last line! :D
Ha, like Patrick, I'm sure you know why I'm reviewing.
However, I was thinking about this story the other day, and I decided that as soon as I remembered I was going to drop a review and ask if you were going to continue this story. I printed it off and read it during my statistics class last semester, and it was beautiful. I couldn't believe there wasn't more.
Although . . . I always thought Orla had dark hair. Is that just my fanon?
Anyway, it would really make me happy if this came to some sort of "resolution."
Thank you for your time. Have a nice day!
I am back reviewing you Seren, as you probably already know why. But to just go ahead and spit it out, this is rough in the fic sense- broken up several times to different scenes, which, normally, are very annoying when there are enough. However, as usual, you manage to astound and amaze. I particularly love that about your work. You make unusual situations seem real.
My favourite scene in this chapter was when Neville was ready to fight, "chivalry be damned". An interesting side of Neville that we've seen maybe once in the entire series, with Padma coming to sooth him. A very good scene. Very nice; although I am left wondering where chapter three is...? ;)
Lovely, lovely, lovely. You wrote this so beautifully. Will there be another chapter?
Way to go, Hermione! Honestly, Harry and Ron can be so thick-headed sometimes. I love how you made that little group. I like all your fics.
The way you describe Neville and Padma really apt. I never thought about those two,I admit, though it probably won't happen in the books! :-) Your metaphors are really well done.
Seren, I love the way you write. You have your own style, and always come up with interesting storylines, and ideas that haven't been explored before. I loved the sparseness of this, the way characters' emotions weren't explained, because everything was clear from the language you used. When I read your work it makes me want to write.
I really like this story, Hermione is her own character, but not turned into a beauty queen. Blaise is nicer, really, than I thought possible from a Slytherin, and you captured Ron's Blustering anger better than anyone else I've read...
Your stories of Hermione separate from the Trio always leave me with a sense of dread for the future of the books. You portray it so accurately, so believably, and so simply that I’m left wondering if she won’t really do that. And then I have to imagine what would happen to Harry without her guidance, and how truly horrible the books would be without her presence. This was no exception. Therefore, my first impression upon reading the story was one of anxiety rather than the hope which it really should convey.
The writing was, as always, simply wonderful. It was simple, elegant, and just different enough to keep interest on the story without being distracting. The details which you chose to convey were very well chosen to keep the mood. Perfection.
I never would have thought of Mad-Eye as Hermione’s friend, but as soon as you mentioned it, it felt right. Of course he would appreciate her intelligence and protectiveness of the boys! And of course she would respect him, even though he’s a bit odd. After all, she’s hardly a normal person.
Hermione seemed just a tad arrogant for my taste in the beginning, and throughout ‘the boys’ seemed too downplayed. After all, they have both done their part. Even though you’re looking at the story from a different angle, it got in the way of my acceptance of the narration. It simply didn’t ring true.
The Diagon Alley scenes were all good, but for the sake of keeping this review a reasonable length I’ll skip ahead to the train. Hermione’s hurt at how easily Ginny took her place worked well. I liked the way everyone in the compartment just accepted it without teasing her about it. It shows a lot about their friendship.
As symbolic as the scene at the Welcoming Feast was (and it was wonderful) I find it hard to believe that they’re allowed to do that. Even with Dumbledore as Headmaster. It might have worked better if a teacher had made a move to stop it, and Dumbledore had discreetly told the teacher to let it pass, just so that there was some mention of the professors.
“It is four against one, but the one simply cannot bring themselves to care.” That has to be my favourite line. It sums up the friendship of the group of friends perfectly, and explains exactly why it is that they will win.
“She loved them – perhaps still loves them – but she can't stand aside and be used by them.” “And all Harry can think about is that if Hermione was there, she would know what to say to cheer him up.” Those two lines together leave the story with a sense of hope for Harry and Hermione’s friendship. Not that things will go back to the way they were before, but that Harry will, in time, come to join Hermione’s new group of friends. I don’t have that hope for Ron.
Happy Birthday, Seren!
Whoa. That's all I can say.
You have a beautiful style. It's almost clinical, as if you are observing the events through the lens of a microscope. There was only one thing that wasn't quite clear: When Seamus watches his best friend leaving, is he watching Dean or someone else? Otherwise, I thought this was excellent. I look forward to more.
It was prefect, if you ask me. Will there be a chapter two?
Yay, i felt so sad for Hermione when I read this. Also, I think the houses are very mean.
Wow...just...wow. This is so good, and I can't wait until there's more. I especially appreciate the unconventional pairing you're doing. In a world of HG/RW, HG/HP and HG/DM, a little Blaise/Hermione is welcome. In my books, anyway. I hope you update as soon as you can!
that was wonderful!!!! I can not wait to read more...
Oh wow! At first, when I saw the short summary of the story, I paused for a bit. But when I started reading, it was impossible to stop. This story is very moving, but also very interesting. Your writing is very elegant, as is the style you've written the chapter in. As many said before, I enjoyed your comparances (sp?) of the butterfly and the avalanche. This chapter left me speechless, although I think it sort of cool that Hermione has become friends with a Slytherin;a boy nonetheless. Looks like somethings brewing here -evil laughter- -cough--cough- Anyway, I hope you update soon, and that the next chapter is as wonderful as this one.
Wow, that was wonderful Seren! I adored the description of how the slap was so hard that Harry was surprised Ron's freckles didn't fall off. In such a bleak, dull (in a good way) and moving fic such as this - you managed to bring a litle smirk to my lips. Well done. I especially like the style you chose to write this in. Ominiscent(sp?) yet detached too, and in present tense. Usually present tense is very clumsy, but you employed it with such elegance. I also thought your metaphors (the butterfly and the avalanche) were brilliant. Beautiful writing, I praise you.
As usual, your work is inspiring. At this rate you're going to convert me into a Blaise/Hermione shipper!
The interaction between Blaise and Hermione is plausible and her crumbling friendship with Harry and Ron is understandable. It's interesting how it's the school against this small group, specifically the narrow-minded houses versus the budding friendship of the interhoused group.
I am loving your portrayal of Dean in this. It's like he has a heart of gold! Might I add that I loved the allusions to the butterfly and how well it's been woven into the story.
I am definitely looking forward to the next chapter of this!