That was brilliant!!!!
I can't think of a word to describe how I felt having read this - if you could combine disturbed with awe-struck, that would be it. I had shivers run down my back multiple times. This fic was almost scarily clever. Aside from the fact that it was wonderfully written, the whole concept was nothing short of genius. I can honestly say I never thought of Peter having OCD, and yet it all fits so well - especially the obsession with fives. I mean, holy Hogwarts, this was a little freaky. I'm not sure how coherent I'm being, but I'm still a little blinded from the awesomeness. ;) Well done!!!
Wow. That's pretty cool. It is a little scary, but cool.
Woah, this is haunting. :D I've never seen Peter as having OCD, but if you give it though, it would work. Where did you get this idea? Will you explore more with the Peter having OCD idea? This was fantastic- I won't be forgetting it anytime soon! :)
Wow, that was really intriguing. I'd never thought about Peter being OCD. And to that extent... How did you come up with this? That was well done. Nice work.
This is stunning. It's not a direction I'd have thought to take Wormtail in, but you've really done it very well. The smaller sections mean it's light without being meaningless. And the ending is excellent!
Wow! Original and unusual!
Wow. Just... wow. I simply loved this. The way you captured the OCD and used it as a sort of crutch for his turn to the Death Eaters is phenomenal. I have OCD myself, and I completely understand the need to do things a certain way (although not as extreme), and it all makes perfect sense. This was very powerful, in a subtle way. Excellent job. This one is definitely going in my favorites :)
You treated OCD exceptionally well, the struggle, the compulsion, the idea that the pattern makes things safer. I also liked your take on Peter. He's not a bad guy, not even accidentally evil, he's stuck because he can't see away out of the mental hell he's in. You've made him sympathetic in a way I've never seen anyone else be able to do. Kudos on the story!
Oh, wow. I can DEFIANTLY see why this won a QSQ. It was just so powerful and explored a WHOLE NEW side to Peter. I never ever thought in a million years that I would read a story in which the author had the ability to manipulate Peter to the point where you completely flipped the readers' perception of him 180 degrees and made everyone feel sorry for him. He is a man trapped in his own mind.
I (and I'm sure so many other readers as well) always looked at Peter as the betrayer, the evil one. Yet here, I felt like he was almost selfless. Like in this part:
There are fourteen Slytherins in the group when they come to talk to him about their movement. Fourteen is wrong, he thinks, because fours aren't safe, don't they know that? Only things in fives can be relied on, so he joins them and listens. For their own safety, yes, so they don't see the pictures too.
He joined the Slytherins just to keep them safe and I see that as a very noble act. Also, when he withdraws himself from the Marauders just to keep them safe also.
This was certainly one of my favorite reads. I've never read something so completely opposite to what everyone thinks of a character yet at the same time, its so plausible. I think what makes this story great is that there is no "AU" warning on it. It follows canon.
Wow. This is a story to remember, and I can clearly see why it won! Congratulations :)
It was extremely creepy; every time you wrote about the number 5, or how there were six, or only 14 people, I could feel the intensity build... It was also neat how you were able to include so many events into one story, without overloading us with info. Once again, great story- a very interesting read.
I think this is a great character study of Wormtail. Most people hate him — and I can't say I'm any different — but this fic makes him seem… Well, it makes the reader understand, and that's a wonderful thing to do in a fic.
I like that you show how his obsession with the number five began.
Also, it made me worry right at the beginning. In my mind I was screaming: "But there are only four Marauders!" Of course, this is canon so the reader knows what Wormtail eventually does, but it's such a great way to pull the reader in.
I also really love the brief interludes in parentheses. I think that, without them, it wouldn't seem as powerful.
(He doesn't think anyone else sees the pictures he does. What's wrong with him?)
It's quite a feat to make the reader sympathise with Wormtail, but you've done it and done it well. I mean, he even does extra homework, he thinks killing is the answer to making everything in wonderful multiples of five.
(And he can take their mark on his arm and walk out the door - five steps from the foyer of Lucius Malfoy's house to the door - and he can commit their murders, he thinks, if he tries. And the Dark Lord understands the safety of five, and gives him a family to kill, a family of a mother and a father and her two sons. It's okay, he says, because they weren't safe anyway. It's okay, he says, and vomits all over himself the moment Sirius opens the door.)
It's just… so powerful. He told Voldemort about his obsession with fives, and that's how Voldemort gets him to kill sometimes? I mean, God, that is so ingenious — of both you and Voldemort.
I feel like I should have some concrit or something, but I honestly can't because this was… perfect. If Wormtail had been this way in the books, I think I would have loved him because he was crazy. This fic was such a wonderful idea… Thanks for writing it! :]
Very, very creepy- I'm going to regret reading this right before sleeping!
Very, very good writing, and definitely very chilling.
This is seriously, honestly, and unbelievably disturbing.
But in a wonderful, beautiful, horrifying, and twisted way.
It's creepy and dark but sad and makes you think of a character that's supposed to be a rat as something more – something that only really ever needed help – and that makes him feel more human and vulnerable and just plain pitiable. Something it's hard to see him as in other lights. Your Peter is, in his own skewed way, a sort of hero that just didn't get it. Or something. Yeah.
I'm rambling and I know I don't make sense but that's ok because all I really have to say is that I love this. Really, truly love it.
So THANKS 8DDD
Chilling. You really brought out a disturbed side to Peter - a clinically diagnosable one. His obsessive behavior was portrayed wonderfully; it was easy for the reader to feel the extent of his madness. A really original explanation for what made Peter what he was, too! A dark and thought-provoking read.
Oh. My. Godric.
That was fantastic. The imagery, the wording, the everything. The ending was (*cough*) killer.
I really don't know what to say except for well done.
this is quite a well written story... i once saw a movie about this guy called monk...(if you havent seen it you should go and rent it cuz it really is an amzing movie(monk)...and he acted almost like you displayed peter to act in this story... idont know where you you got this perspective but i thought it was fabously done...i especially liked the ending....There were supposed to be five captives in the room at Malfoy Manor. Harry, that Weasley boy, the pale girl, the old man, and the black boy. There were supposed to be five.
But there are two, only two, and Peter knows his safety net is gone.
Panic sets in.
what a way to end a story...i love how you got everything to fit in the story...how did you figure that one out??...any way...i lovd it....even though it was kinda dark
^That was my initial reaction.
Your writing style is really unique, and really great.
If he does it right - twenty-five steps from the door of the Great Hall to his seat, right in front of the window, closest to the wall; room for fifteen people between his and the end of the table either way; his plate arranged into a perfect pentagon, because fives are safe numbers - if he does it right, then the images don't come.
The imagery in that line is amazing. Perfect, in fact.
And your description of OCD is well done... as someone who actually has a mild form of OCD (nowhere near as bad as Peter's), it's great to see a fic on this.
Also, this kept to canon - it could have really happened.
Basically, this was excellent, and I look forward to anything else you write. :)
Excellent! I'm quite impressed. Great one shot.
This was awesome. I just happened to catch it on the recently added stories and I'm really impressed. It actually had me frightened about what Peter was going to do next, even though we all know what he does. The incorporation of all the 5s was really intelligent and such an interesting way of describing Peter's disloyalty to his friends. Great job!