Reviews For Flame
Reviewer: LexidaLou
Date: 03/21/09 11:23
Chapter: Flame

this is so sad. I almost statred crying.

Reviewer: XhayleeXblackX
Date: 03/10/08 18:36
Chapter: Flame

Oh Pondering, what a wonderful way with words you have. From the very first paragraph I loved this story. The imagery and diction you have used is simply stunning! It allows the words to flow effortlessly like a river.

I liked the anger you have shown in Harry. After all, we all know that he can be a rather angry person. It is also very in his character to bottle his anger and resentment up inside, waiting to one day explode.

When are you—" she falters at the look on Harry’s face, but soon continues her sentence. “When are you going to stop pretending that Ginny’s, well, dead?” she asks, the pitying look now gone from her eyes, replaced with a look of fiery determination that reminds Harry of her daughter.

I loved the tension and emotion in this paragraph. It really speaks for the way that Harry has been treating everyone, even though we see so little of this in the story it’s self.

You have also expressed Harry’s bitterness very well. I liked the way he wanted to push Daisy away because she reminded him so much of Ginny, yet couldn’t. It really added to the anger and resentment he feels toward Ginny.

The ending when Harry burns the picture was simply… dark. I loved it, and thought that it was very Harry. And the twist at the end of casually telling us that Ginny left Harry for Neville was brilliant!

Utterly amazing job,
Haylee

Reviewer: Dissendio
Date: 01/13/08 15:54
Chapter: Flame

I like this a lot but I just can't see Ginny running off with Neville. She loves Harry far too much. She said so herself: "I never really gave up on you, not really. I always hoped." I believe that even if Harry never had feelings for her and she married someone else, she would always have a special place for him in her heart.

J K Rowling has stated in interviews that Neville married Hannah Abbot. Did she die? Did she leave Neville? Did Neville leave her? Neville is far too loyal to Harry to ever go after Harry's wife. I mean, he killed Voldemort's snake when Harry asked him to and he probably had suspicions that Harry wasn't in his right mind when he said that, since he went and got himself "killed" straight afterwards. It just shows how trusting he is with Harry.

Also wouldn’t it be a little late for Ginny to have a forth child? At 45 years old wouldn’t she be a bit old?

Reviewer: Dissendio
Date: 01/13/08 15:53
Chapter: Flame

I like this a lot but I just can't see Ginny running off with Neville. She loves Harry far too much. She said so herself: "I never really gave up on you, not really. I always hoped." I believe that even if Harry never had feelings for her and she married someone else, she would always have a special place for him in her heart.

J K Rowling has stated in interviews that Neville married Hannah Abbot. Did she die? Did she leave Neville? Did Neville leave her? Neville is far too loyal to Harry to ever go after Harry's wife. I mean, he killed Voldemort's snake when Harry asked him to and he probably had suspicions that Harry wasn't in his right mind when he said that, since he went and got himself "killed" straight afterwards. It just shows how trusting he is with Harry.

Also wouldn’t it be a little late for Ginny to have a forth child? At 45 years old wouldn’t she be a bit old?

Reviewer: Malika Potter
Date: 01/09/08 21:14
Chapter: Flame

Wow that was really good! I liked the plot twist alot- at first I thought that Ginny was dead. It was very well written too.

Reviewer: i love prongs
Date: 11/15/07 15:37
Chapter: Flame

loved it!

Reviewer: hpmaniac23
Date: 11/10/07 11:57
Chapter: Flame

that's so sad why did ginny leave him??

Reviewer: Phia Phoenix
Date: 11/04/07 17:40
Chapter: Flame

Oh, you wouldn’t believe it. I got to school early, EARLY on Friday especially to write a review for you. And it was closed! The library, closed for the first time in living memory! Grr. Sorry.

I can’t really criticise the story, Tash. It’s really good. The two opening paragraphs are awesome, I’d nominate them for Quicksilver if it was still going and there was an appropriate category! They reminded me a bit of your post in the Tower about magic…

And my favourite line was “It was a dark night and we walked in tandem silence, just me and her, normal old Lily and magnificent, magical Petunia.”

Because of a) the usage of the word tandem – loved it! And b) how you juxtaposed “normal old Lily” and “magnificent magical Petunia”. That really clearly showed how different Lily felt they were, and her bitterness about it.

And the way you tied Lilies in with the whole thing was awesome.

As I said before, I can’t criticise the story as a whole, but I can nitpick. So I will.

I don’t think McGonagall should be “kicked” out of the house, it sounds a bit modern and casual. Perhaps she could be thrown out, or asked to leave?

The “Never fallen without a scratch” is a bit clumsy and unwieldy, because of the double negative. You have to sort of read it twice to understand what you mean. Maybe you could replace it with something like, “Never made an enemy break out in a rash”, or something like that?

In the next paragraph you have the word “growing” twice in the same sentence. I think you should scratch the first one.

And in the paragraph after that you have “plaster a flimsy smile on my smile”, which is just a typo, I know, but I thought I’d let you know.

“I tried everything to not be able to talk to her again” again, this is a bit confusing. I know what you mean, but you could replace it with something a bit less awkward, perhaps “ I tried everything to keep me from talking to her”, or something like that?

Between the lines “I always knew your favourite magic trick was…” and “… if something ever happens to me” you switch tenses to present, and then afterwards go back to past again. I wouldn’t have picked this, except that I was just battling it in my Remus fic, don’t worry! But that is one thing that needs to be fixed.

As I said, there’s nothing major to criticise! I loved the way you made this fic so sad, and believable. The bit where she was at school and wanting to shout out that she didn’t belong there, I really sympathised with that. You’ve captured her anger, confusion, bitterness, and sadness very well. It’s interesting, too, an AU fic where the sisters have had their places switched. Interesting to see that if Petunia hadn’t been the one to suffer not going to Hogwarts, she might have grown up a more loving person. I just really really hope that you didn’t have her marrying James, did you? The poor guy…

Congrats on a nice little one-shot, Tash! And thankyou so much.

Love Phia


Author's Response: *hugs Phia* Thank you for the lovely review. :) You know, that might be where I got the idea...the posts in the Tower...*psst...do you realise that you posted this on Flame, and not Where Lilies Grow?* Anyway, I made most of the suggested changes, you'd be glad to hear. As for Petunia marrying James...don't feed the plotbunnies. XD --Tash

Reviewer: Padfoot Patronus
Date: 10/20/07 3:07
Chapter: Flame

and Tash, while i was reading the fic, it reminded me of Rascal Flatts song What Hurts the Most...

myabe its a conincidence or something but Harry could actually be singing that song! ha!

Akay

Author's Response: I've never actually heard of the song, but I googled the lyrics and you're right--they do sort of match. :D Just a coincidence, though. :) Tash

Reviewer: Padfoot Patronus
Date: 10/19/07 8:02
Chapter: Flame

I was on the third paragraph, Tash, when I hastily closed the window of your story. And then I held my chest and I was heaving *puffs*

Oh my Godric! That was the sweetest thing ever!

You said, something about your uncertainty with the characterization. Well, you were wrong. Absolutely wrong because every character was so original and convincing, I enjoyed reading every word.

One of the best type of fictions I think are the ones that portray the “other” side of a character. You accomplished that in Flame with Harry, Ginny and Molly as well. Harry was absolutely adorable ( I was getting giddy!) and really, his tempers just sets butterfly in my stomach.

Just like everybody else I too thought that Ginny was dead. You reinforced our assumption through Harry’s attitude at her absence from his life. The candles and his feelings towards Daisy. Real nice twist though. I can never imagine Ginny leaving Harry for the world but the thing that you can accomplish writing what seems such an unimaginable canon twist, is superb!

I think the main feature of a good story is that the author in some way touches the reader’s heart through the relation of the character’s attitude and attributes to those of the readers. Its always enjoyable to read something I can relate to. Sometimes the biggest things we say or do are made up of the little things.

Flame. Your title couldn’t have been any better! Flame. The little thing *wink*

It was sweet and touching and just shakes all the strings of the guitar in my heart. The echo lasts for hours too.

An excellent one-shot to add to my ever-growing list of favs.

-Akay.



Author's Response: Wow, Akay, thanks for the lovely review. I'm really glad that you enjoyed the characterisations. I was actually unsure about them and wasn't even going to upload this fic at one stage, but I loved the actual story so I'm glad now that I persisted. I'm happy that you liked the title too. I usually try and keep them simple and to the point as I find an overly complicated title can turn me off sometimes. Thanks again! Tash

Reviewer: Phia Phoenix
Date: 10/18/07 23:49
Chapter: Flame

Wow, Tash.

Beautiful.

I loved the way he was sort of, almost addicted to the candle flame - and the way you linked it to Ginny, and Daisy's hair. And then linked the last paragraph back to it again.

Molly was very nicely characterised, and this was the first post-DH fic I've read where Harry was too.

Ack, this story was so - poignant. Just the right mix of sadness and anger (Harry, obviously) and innocence and belief (Daisy).

Language is impeccable, metaphors, creative imagery, all tick tick tick. The only thing I can fault is that the present tense is a bit awkward - consistent, but awkward. It just isn't right for this story. I don't know, I just kept going "Wait, this is in present tense, isn't it?" and... yeah.

Sorry. That isn't too helpful.

But it is long overdue for you to be added to my Favourite Author's list! So, on you go!

Love Phia

PS I still think she should have been named Dahefrnymomodo...

Author's Response: Hmm, I sort of do have an obsessive love of present tense--almost half my stories are that way. Thanks for the reading and reviewing, Phia. *hugs* It is appreciated. :) Well, I would have called her Dahefrnymomodo but it took too long to type. =P

Reviewer: JustLikeHermione77
Date: 10/18/07 18:57
Chapter: Flame

*sniff* wait, WHAT?? NEIVILLE???good story, except for i highly doubt that ginny would ever do that to harry.

Author's Response: Yeah, canon-Ginny would never do that to Harry, but that is because in the HP world everyone seems to marry their school sweethearts and live happily ever after...and I was feeling a bit mean towards Harry, lol. :)

Reviewer: Wicked_Quill
Date: 10/17/07 16:40
Chapter: Flame

Wow. That was amazing. I thought she'd died but what she did was so much more sad!

Author's Response: Yeah. If Ginny were actually dead, Harry would find it a lot easier to actually move on, I reckon. :)

Reviewer: 14WeasleyPotterG
Date: 10/17/07 16:19
Chapter: Flame

i am sorry but i did not like it at all

Author's Response: I'm sorry that you didn't like it.

Reviewer: red haired mom
Date: 10/17/07 15:53
Chapter: Flame

Holy cow Tash! That was sooooo good! I loved it. At first I thought Ginny had died, but as it went on I knew she was still alive. I never would have thought she had run off with Neville though. You definitely nailed this one. I am almost speechless. I just want to gush about how good it is. You don’t mind a bit of gushing do you? If this doesn’t win first place then I want to know why. I can’t imagine anyone else writing something better for this prompt. Harry and the anger, and loss, and unwillingness to level with Daisy was so typical of a parent who has been left. But Molly was done so well, and she snapped him awake. Excellent job, and I cannot wait to read more of your work, so get busy! ‘Claws are racking up the Challenge entries, so let’s get the Cup!
~Wendy


Author's Response: Thanks for the review Wendy. :D I wasn't sure of my feelings on this story so I'm glad that you liked it. I was especially unsure of my characterisation so I'm happy that you think that they are good. :) Tash

Reviewer: Dramatic_Snitch
Date: 10/17/07 15:20
Chapter: Flame

Nice plot twist at the end! I love the way you captured Harry's temper, as well. Brilliant :D


Author's Response: I'm glad that you liked the plot twist. I was actually a bit worried about how that would be received...

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