Wonderfully written story. It was beautiful. I loved your descriptions; they brought the story to life.
Excellent piece of work!
That was beautiful. You captured the slightly surreal aura of the place. The story feels dreamlike... the part that seems most like reality is when he remembers Anita's death. Poor little Regulus.
One thing I would have liked to see was Regulus' rage. You mention it and then switch abruptly back to 'heaven.' Stylistically that is your choice, but I was left wanting to know what happened. Maybe that is what you intended.
Awesome challenge entry. Best of luck!
*hug for fellow 'Claw*
Oh-maaah-geeeeze! Talk about love at first read! I loved the reference to the Greek (Roman?) mythological story and it fit in very well. I only wish you had played on it a bit more. Perhaps you could have included a bit of the myth in the beginning and in the end in quotes...? There is really nothing that I would change in this story. Regulus has never really been one of my favorite characters, I've not known enough about him to really muse over this motives, but because of this beautiful little piece of writing, I see him in a different light. I'm glad that I read this... :]
You have a nice balance between the long, descriptive paragraphs and the short/dialogue paragraphs. The story has a flow to it, which I accredit to your lavish descriptions.
Also, I liked that you used the present tense. That is a rare thing these days and in this story it just seemed to fit. Very very nice. :]
Bottom line: lovelovelove.