Reviews For A hint of Marigold
Reviewer: lunaticbookworm
Date: 10/06/07 16:24
Chapter: Chapter 1 Curvy, Curly and Gorgeous

Wow! This is pretty good! Please finish Chapter 2 soon, I wanna read more!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your kind remark. I can assure you that i am confident that you will not be dissapointed by Marigolds adventures and there is a cool twist!

Reviewer: Bookwormy
Date: 09/25/07 0:11
Chapter: Chapter 1 Curvy, Curly and Gorgeous

Cool...I liked it. So Snape's alive in your fic? Yippee! Lol. It was good to see McGonagall as the headmistress...please try to update soon. I wanna read Marigold's experiences at Hogwarts!

Author's Response: Aww thanks! I really appreciate people reveiwing. This is my first story so i love people being so understanding! I really have some english errors that I need to sort out so updates may be slow. Thanks again!

Author's Response: I am so glad that you like my story and I would be so grateful if you told people about it as I plan to write more stories that I am confident you will enjoy.

Reviewer: dragonwings
Date: 09/24/07 0:11
Chapter: Chapter 1 Curvy, Curly and Gorgeous

A very cute story! I like the set up of the opening chapter, but there are a few mistakes that I think you should know about.

1) “I hope you have a good time! Have lots of fun and don’t let them forget the Weasley’s!”
‘Weasley's’ shouldn't be possessive, but plural, as in more than one. For example, another way to phrase it would be— "don't let them forget the Weasley family." You made the same mistake a few lines down with the word "Malfoy's" and repeat it again throughout the chapter.

2) “Thank god were going to be in Gryffindor..."
‘Were’ should be we're as in "we are". Not the past tense of was.

3) Professor McGonagall was sitting in the headmistresses chair with, Professor Snape, potions teacher (“he’s getting on a bit isn’t he!” John so kindly pointed out.) Professor Hagrid, care of magical creatures teacher and many others that none of the Weasley’s knew about.
Few things wrong with these two sentences. ‘Headmistresses chair’ should be ‘headmistress’ chair’. There is not more than one chair, there is only one and it is the headmistress’. Secondly, ‘potions’ should be capitalized because it is a subject. Example: the word ‘history’ is capitalized if it is used as a class subject. “I am taking World History this year.” The same goes for Care of Magical Creatures. Thirdly, …teacher (“he’s getting on a bit isn’t he!” John so kindly pointed out. / Should be: …teacher (“He’s getting on a bit, isn’t he!” John so kindly pointed out. There’s also a punctuation error—there shouldn’t be a comma between “with” and “Professor” and you should insert a comma in between “bit” and “isn’t”. Another thing—with would be a bad word to use in this sentence because it is implying that Professor McGonagall was in a chair with Hagrid, Snape and a bunch of unnamed teachers! Lastly, you have the Weasley’s mistake again. So really, the passage should be more like this: “Professor McGonagall was sitting in the headmistress’ chair alongside Professor Snape, the Potions teacher (“He’s getting on a bit, isn’t he!” John so kindly pointed out,) Professor Hagrid, the Care of Magical Creatures teacher, and many other teachers that none of the Weasley children knew about.

Hate to be so nitpicky about these things, but I felt that the mistakes were very noticeable and affected the story too much to be ignored as simple typos. Correct grammar is a key element to a good story and since I’m assuming that this is a chaptered story, I thought that I’d better point these things out to you now so that you can hopefully keep them in mind as you write the rest. I would also recommend getting a beta to look over your chapters before submission. Many of the best authors overlook mistakes because of the speed of their creative flow and simply just skip over them accidentally.

All in all—good story set up, and nice characterization of Weasley/Malfoy prejudice!

Author's Response: Thank you for reveiwing my story. I fully appreciate your corrections. Are you a beta reader? However, as kind as you are, if it got submitted then it can't be that bad! Thanks again!

Author's Response: I have sorted out these mistakes and will edit them (if i can) in the story. Thank you again and I hope you enjoy reading.

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
Out of the Blue by Secret Marauder 90 1st-2nd Years
This story weaves the tale of James and Lily from the day they met right up...
Albus Potter and the Dark Lord's Heir by Alexandryne 3rd-5th Years
I couldn't imagine it was gone. But then, the magic never really is gone, is...
Severus's Prince by DestinyMoonStar Professors
What does Severus Snape do when a one night stand turns into a baby boy? ...
FEATURED
Where Light and Shadow Meet by Ennalee 1st-2nd Years
All his life, Percy has built and gathered, painted and carved, and now everything...
Different in the Morning by Gmariam 3rd-5th Years
Seventh year is almost over, and after indulging in the kitchen a bit too much...
Rid of Me by littlebird 6th-7th Years
Hermione gets the cat, the flat, the food, and the furniture. Ron gets the family...
CATEGORIES