Reviewer: faalkaa
Date: 09/12/07 7:37
Chapter: The Habits Of A Sleeping Body

I simply love the way you develop their personalities. Giving real thoughts to characters gives strory reality and fullfills the empty and unknown past. Psychological & philosophical plots makes it deeper. You can hardly imagine yourself that they are alive, even though they are dead, or rather they do not exist at all.

Reviewer: to_the_stage93
Date: 09/10/07 19:56
Chapter: The Habits Of A Sleeping Body

I love this story, you did such a good job! I love your simple easy to read, present-tense writing style, however I do have some pieces of concrit:
Paragraph spacing- try to break it up more, with lines in between paragraphs, and especially in dialogue. Take note of the paragraph about Lily, thatr is a bit too jumbled, I feel like you're including different ideas in the same paragraph and you probably should break it up to make it more easier on the eyes and also to augment your writing abilities.
Anyways, I really do like this story, kudos on a job well done!

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