Reviewer: faalkaa
Date: 09/12/07 7:37
Chapter: The Habits Of A Sleeping Body

I simply love the way you develop their personalities. Giving real thoughts to characters gives strory reality and fullfills the empty and unknown past. Psychological & philosophical plots makes it deeper. You can hardly imagine yourself that they are alive, even though they are dead, or rather they do not exist at all.

Reviewer: to_the_stage93
Date: 09/10/07 19:56
Chapter: The Habits Of A Sleeping Body

I love this story, you did such a good job! I love your simple easy to read, present-tense writing style, however I do have some pieces of concrit:
Paragraph spacing- try to break it up more, with lines in between paragraphs, and especially in dialogue. Take note of the paragraph about Lily, thatr is a bit too jumbled, I feel like you're including different ideas in the same paragraph and you probably should break it up to make it more easier on the eyes and also to augment your writing abilities.
Anyways, I really do like this story, kudos on a job well done!

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
Makers of Fine Wands by CanisMajor 1st-2nd Years
Ollivander of Croton arrives in Athens in 382 BC with big dreams, noneof which...
Severus Snape and the Kiss Of Death by Hotrav 1st-2nd Years
When you lived half of your life a double-agent it is hard to to keep what is...
Neville's Chocolate Toads by The Ravenclaw Sheerio 1st-2nd Years
Neville Longbottom is known for his constant mistakes. When he pronounces the...
FEATURED
Wild Card by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor 6th-7th Years
It was going to happen eventually: Oliver Wood had to retire. But when the decision...
Half-life by welshdevondragon 3rd-5th Years
Neville has the rest of his life ahead of him, but all he can do is look back...
Skinny Love by xxbabewithbrainsxx 6th-7th Years
“I’ve always been chubby. Admit it.” “You’ve never been skinny...
Tigerlily by Maple_and_PheonixFeather 3rd-5th Years
You promised yourself you'd never hurt her, but there are times when you wonder...
Astriferous by Padfoot11333 6th-7th Years
Merope Gaunt has never been celestial.Nominated for a 2014 QSQ - Best Dark/Angst.
CATEGORIES