First of all, I have to congratulate you on so perfectly interweaving the poem at the start with the actual themes in the story. So many people start with a poem that relates very little to the story, or they don’t put in the effort to make it fit as well as it could. You’ve accomplished this brilliantly. It’s a beautiful poem, and your story more than does it justice.

The story is very well structured, and your planning is evident. I love the balance you’ve struck between rhythm and detail. You manage to put in a short action scene without taking away from the somber, somewhat dark tone of the piece. I enjoyed particularly your descriptions of Ginny’s funeral. The reds and golds you describe on the surroundings made me think of not only Gryffindor house, but of Ginny’s hair. It’s fitting that her funeral day should reflect her a little.

I found phrase, “Ginny died before she hit the ground,” a little blunt. I completely respect your to the point writing style (rather than getting lost dithering in the little thigns) but I would have loved a few more details during this bit. Since it keeps with the pace, it’s not a major problem. Maybe it’s just me being a Ginny fan and wanting to hear more.

The status on this is set to incomplete. If this is true, I look forward to seeing more. You’ve opened with a great premise: Harry quitting magic, and I look forward to reading more in the future. You’ve got a great grasp of Harry’s psychology, and I’d love to see whether or not he succeeds in his goal to find a little peace. Great work!

What a wonderful, heart wrenching chapter!

Well written and the descriptions were beautiful. It felt like I was experiencing everything first hand.

I cannot wait to read the next chapter. Keep up the amazing work!

Lacey

Author's Response: Thank you!