That was really good, ill read your other stuff soon and review that, i promise!
great job! I really liked this poem! This fic (or poem???) has really great pottential!
Really, really good! I liked it! But at times it was difficult to read a bit. But overall, awesome job!
The overall effect of this poem is very good. It shows what an amazing person Lily was and leraves one with a feeling of loss and regret tha she had to die so soon.But...
Yeah theres allways a but* is sorry *
There were a few things I had a problem with. Two to be exact. One is the repitation of the word joy and the second is the grammer used. It seems that the lines change from past to present not very smoothly.
Don't get yourself down though as it is a HUGE achievement to write something this long AND make it rhyme.=Sammy
Its really nice...
Author's Response: Thanks! If you would like to see a better example of my work, please read Love Leads to Grief. This story, Lily's Story, I did not spend a lot of time on. Consequently, it is not such an amazing story and I recognize that. Thanks so much for the review!