This is really angsty and sad. I feel awful for Fred.
Author's Response: Thanks very much! I'm glad you enjoyed it! x
Gah, Rhi, I decided to read this again for my review and it still makes me cry. You did an incredible job with this story. The word choice is beyond amazing, dear, and the repetition of ďHe was broken nowĒ really gives it a bit of a poetic feel. I really think that Fredís death was one of the most tragic in DH, and itís been interesting to see how the fanfiction world has responded. Iíd give your fic two thumbs up and a box of tissue. Good job!
ps - congrats on winning the EMEA!!!
Author's Response: Thanks so much, what a lovely review! You're the best Kelly, thanks so much x
Rhi, you amaze me! There have been quite a few George-without-Fred stories popping up all over the fandom, but I have stayed away from them so far, because I didnít think most of them could do the loss George must be feeling justice. He lost his twin brother after all and the closeness they had is hard enough to get right, without adding the loss of it onto that. You manage to convey the depth of Fred and Georgeís relationship and the crippling pain and loss George feels after his brotherís death fantastically.
The pain latched its greedy tendrils around his heart, its spiked nails anchoring deep into his flesh. I love all the imagery you use, but this has to be one of my favourite images. Itís so violent and painful and it really made me realize how much Fred and George were an entity and not two separate beings. There are quite a few images I loved throughout the story: Fred and George as a jigsaw or as the opposite of Siamese twins one person, forever trapped in different bodies, the marvellous personification of Death in the beginning, to only name a few. All of them put together painted a vivid picture of Georgeís pain that is despite the sadness of what it shows a true masterpiece!
He had thought magic could conquer anything. Now, he knew the truth. It conquered nothing; but merely gave false platitudes and sweet illusions. Here we are, or maybe not we but a lot of other people, wishing we could do magic and thinking all our problems would be solved for us then, when what you write here is true, magic canít combat death or natural disasters and it doesnít mean there will be no more war or suffering, itís really not the answer to any important questions or problems. Itís a very discouraging truth, but itís the truth nonetheless.
He was broken now. I liked the repetition of this one sentence very much. Repetition seems to be the favourite tool of D/A authors and lots of them use too many or unfitting repetitions, but you placed them very well so they added to the atmosphere of the story and didnít distract from it. The quotes after this repeated line were nice, although in the beginning of the story they seemed to lack an actual connection to the narrative. Towards the end you the quotesí general idea seemed to be picked up again in the narrative after the quote and they added a whole new depths to the story, but in the beginning they seemed very random and I had no idea why they were there as they didnít seem to serve any purpose.
From the womb onwards they had been one unit [Ö] George couldnít understand how, now, to act solely on his own. This is such a heartbreaking though. Itís like he has to learn how to live all over again, because he has never had to do anything alone and he doesnít even get time to get used to doing smaller things on his own and then more and more; no, he has to do everything on his own right away. Kind of like throwing a child into the water and telling them to swim without explaining and teaching them how to.
The tears had dried up now, evaporated under the fierce heat of his pain. The tears recognised him as broken; a worthless endeavour on their part to stay. When Iím feeling sad or lonely or after a particularly vicious fight with my parents a good cry always makes me feel better. Itís like the tears wash the hurt, anger and pain away and I can go on again. I canít imagine not being able to cry and have this outlet for my emotions, I donít know how I would function. Poor George! As harsh as it sounds, but it would have been better if he had died with his brother and could have been spared this suffering.
Youíre an amazingly talented writer, Rhi, this story is a real gem and Iím glad I read it.
Author's Response: Thanks so much. I don't even know how to reply to this review, it's so beautiful. All I can say is thank you for having so much to comment on, you've really made my day! x
A very good story. I think you captured the emptiness losing a loved one causes and you perfectly portrayed how fred and george are together and what one would be like without the other.
It's also a good read as JK never addressed what George would be like after the battle. Thanks for this!
Author's Response: You're very welcome - I'm so glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for your review xx
That's so sad. Poor Georgie =[
I loved all the imagery you used. It was amazingly written.
My favorite part: "Here, left alone, he would dwindle and wither, while the seasonís danced a slow foxtrot around him in ever decreasing circles. He would watch summer become autumn, observe winter transform into spring. And throughout every renovation he would watch the slow pirouetting of leaves down onto that path, watch them sigh and settle onto the cold, unrelenting earth. He would hear the deep indrawn breath of the wind, before, with a gusty bellow, it scattered those diminutive ballerinas into yet another dance; twisting them and twirling them through the air in a rhythmical salsa."
Author's Response: Thanks very much! I'm very glad you liked it. xx
ok, time for happy, fluffy bunny cartoons!! seriously, this is one of the most hopeless (i dont like depressing, it is too heavy and often unrealistic in a story) stories ive ever read. i loved it.you're writing style is amasing. i could see george and feel his pain as i read. to repeat the obviious, i loved the he was broken line.you made the story seem so life like. sorry, long review,but i really loved the story. its already in my favorites! shutting up now *extream worshiping in a non-creepy way*
Author's Response: Lol, thank you so much. I'm so glad you enjoyed it. Fred's death was something I don't think George would ever recover from - so that was what I was trying to accentuate with the 'he was broken ' line. Thanks so much for your review! xx
this is soooo depressing it makes me want to cry almost like i did when fred acctually did die
Author's Response: Oh, lol. Sorry about that! In a mean way, I'm slightly glad though - that was the effect I wanted when I wrote the fic. Go and read something happy to cheer yourself up, lol! Thanks for your review xx
This is amazing, really!! It's really sad. I like how the repetition of "He is broken now" really shows how George is feeling because it never really said anything about Fred dying in the 7th book. But this was really amazing!!
Author's Response: Thanks very much! I thought it was sad that we never got to see what happened to George afterwards. I thought I'd write a few of, what I imagined his feelings were, to fill in the spaces. Thanks for your review! xx
Aww, I feel so sad for George now!
And the line, "He was broken now." being repeated in the story was really enforcing the idea that George wanted nothing more than to have his best friend, his other half, his brother back. Excellent work!!
Author's Response: Yes, it suddenly came to me to just repeat it like that - and you named all the things that George thought of Fred as. I'm so glad you liked it. Thanks for reviewing. xx
This is so sad! I thought the repetition of "He was broken now", along with the insertion of funny quotes was really clever. I've always been a fan of repetition because it creates such a nice effect.
Author's Response: Thanks very much! I'm so glad you liked it. xx