That story made me happy. It was so cute! I can totally imagine Luna doing something like that too. it's just her style. That's my new favorite line, by the way: 'Everyone needs a balloon now and then.' It kind of makes me wonder though, would Sirius have recognised Luna later when he met her as a human? (That is assuming that this story was part of the series.) Anyways, keep putting pen to paper (or finger to keyboard, whatever) - i love it!
Author's Response: This was intended to be a happy story - thanks. Just please, please don't go around quoting that. >.>
Wow, Kelly, just... wow. I first decided to read this, not just because I can't sleep, but because.. well, Sirius is in it! Even in dog form I love him.
This story is absolutely wonderful. I love it. Since I've betaed for you once, I know exactly how your beta for this felt. You are a brilliant writer, and you hardly ever have any mistakes in your writing! The flow is always perfect, as with this story, and well.. you're just amazing. Lol.
There's just one or two things I'd like to mention, if you don't mind. =)
Firstly, this sentence:
The girl peered down at him still more curiously
You forgot a period after curiously. Lol. Yes, throughout the entire story, that is the ONLY thing I found wrong!
One other thing though, the second paragraph. It felt as though you abruptly started to describe the scene at which Sirius was looking at. You went from saying how it felt since he left Azkaban to the snow on the rooftops and such. I think that the transition from the two things could have been a bit smoother.
For instance, you could have had it to where Sirius thought about not being able to see the outside world while in Azkaban. You could have mentioned how long it's been since he's been able to see the beauty of snow and such things like that. Then it would have been easy to move on to how Hogsmede looks in that point during the time at which it was snowing.
And wow, I really love how you ended this story! Luna is such a wonderful character to play around with, and I really do think you hit her character right on the nose. You did it perfectly. The way she is dream-like and doesn't really seem to have a care in the world. You really showed that throughout the story, or at least, throughout the part that she was in. =)
I really love how you had Luna be the girl that Sirius sees on the bench, and it's just like Luna to have half a sandwhich in her pocket without remembering it was there! That part definitely made me giggle. =D
I love how you had Luna describe to Sirius why she gave him the balloon. Sure, there wasn't much to it, but it really is like Luna to say something as simple as that. I really liked that.
All in all, great story, love. It was a very enjoyable read. I loved it. You should write more Sirius stories. ;) Haha. Even if they are with him as Padfoot instead of Sirius. =D
Author's Response: Thank you for the lovely review, Tiffany. I am, coincidentally, in the process of writing Sirius stories. They are actually Sirius/Lily stories that go in my For Him universe. I'm glad that you liked Luna and how simple her statements were. There's a really fine line between having the perfectly eccentric Luna and having the out of character Luna who can't go a minute without mentioning Blibbering Humdingers or Crumple Horned Snorkacks. I'm glad that you thought that my Luna was the former. Thanks again for such a lovely review!
Oh! That is so beautiful! A large black dog with a balloon tied to his paw, and an odd girl doing the occasional pirrouette. (Did I spell that right?) That really was a wonderfully sweet, simle story. ^_^;
Author's Response: Thank you very much for your kind review!
This has been wonderful, save for the tiniest cliche of "flowing" hair (it just seems that fanfiction female hair never does anything other than "flow", but pay me no heed), it's a pretty darn flawless fic.
I dare not ask whether there's more to this story, but whether or not - I like your writing, I'll keep an eye on you.
Author's Response: Well, hair has to do something. Hehe. Thank you for the feedback on that. Also, good for you for not asking if there is a continuation of this story (there isn't). However, I do have other things posted. Never fear! Thank you, though, for reading and reviewing this one. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy! :D
In most of the stories that I read with Luna in them, I find that the writer does not make Luna quite Lunay enough. Luna is supposed to be a dreamy person with a very different/original personality. She is kind in her strange "just Luna" queerness. There is no one else quite like her, except perhaps her father. We know that she will always stand out and not quite fit in, but we also know that she is fine with that.
You managed to make Luna come to life with her plain oddness and unconditional kindness. It just proves that you do not have to make Luna quote about Crumple-Horned Snorkacks to make her sound like the way JK Rowling wrote her. It takes real skill to pull off a character like Luna and her personality but it was very believable. Well done!
Author's Response: Aw, thank you for the lovely compliment about Luna! She can very easily fall into the cliche trap, as I like to think of it. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Also, thank you for reviewing two of my stories - that really does warm my heart. Thank you!!
Iíve always thought that Sirius must have interacted with at least someone as a dog, and I think Luna was a great choice. Your portrayal of her was absolutely PERFECT; I could definitely see her doing and saying everything exactly that way. *Applauds*
Author's Response: Thank you SO much! I thought that this story had fallen off the face of the earth! And then you left me this really lovely review. You're so kind to say such things! *throws confetti*
Aw. I love Luna. and Sirius. It's so nice they could met. Very good work.
Author's Response: Thanks! It's fun to put characters together and see what happens, no?
Wow, two of my favourite characters in one go. I really enjoyed this fic. I absolutely adore Luna and she's very much in character; you've captured the essence of her quirkiness. Great job! Can't wait to read more of your stories.
Author's Response: Oh, thank you so much for your great review! You certainly brightened my otherwise dark day!!
Ohh, I was hoping you'd submit a longer version of that drabble after reading it in the Common Room! This one really stuck with me the first time I read it, and you get the character of Luna *perfectly*. So many writers can't pull it off properly.
You have beautiful descriptive skills. I could really see the whole scene... yeah, I know, that's called imagery, but I forgot the words and I'm too lazy to go back and change it.
There is something so irresistably cute and hilarious about Sirius Black with a balloon... but still not as irresistably cute as Luna Lovegood, age twelve. I love the way you describe her mannerisms, like how she pirouettes every few steps.
I hope you write more about Luna, because you're great at characterizing her!
Author's Response: Thanks! You know, I was totally set to lengthen this, and I couldn't do it! I think I added maybe 200 words and my brain wouldn't let me add anymore. Hmmmm.....bad sign?
Anyways, thank you so much for the super sweet review - and don't worry, I fully intend to keep writing. Write on!