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MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!

Name: EllaBelle18 (Signed) · Date: 09/26/07 19:26 · For: Chapter 2 - A Lack of Common Sense
Gah! Gavin is so infuriating! Good job. Please let there be a happy ending!

Author's Response: Haha, I know he is! Thanks for reviewing! And as for the happy ending, I guess you'll have to wait and see...


Name: voldy1 (Signed) · Date: 09/26/07 17:40 · For: Prologue
i liked it. i found it a much more believable version of the aftermath harry losing against voldermort. keep up the good work!

Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you thought it was believable. =)


Name: humyn (Signed) · Date: 09/26/07 17:28 · For: Prologue
ahh, i love it!!!!!!! S; is ch. 3 suposed to follow ch.1 though?

Author's Response: Thanks! Haha, whoops. That should say Chapter 2; the count got off because of the prologue. I'll fix that now.


Name: Raven_in_Lion_House (Signed) · Date: 09/26/07 14:07 · For: Prologue
I generally don't read stories in the Alternate Universe category, but I'm sure glad that decided to try this one! Your writing is fluent, and your characters, especially Gavin, are complex. Like other reviewers, I'd like to know a bit more background (especially about Muggle-borns replacing house-elves), but that is my only complaint. Keep up the great work.

Author's Response: Thanks! More of the background should keep coming up, possibly in the form of flashbacks. Thanks for reviewing! =)


Name: x_lily_evans_x (Signed) · Date: 09/26/07 9:33 · For: Chapter 2 - A Lack of Common Sense
Oh, man! This is one interesting plot you have. Although it's a dark, dark world with the Dark Lord, and I normally don't like this sort of stories, but I'm definitely keeping a tab on this one. It's sounds really interesting. Gavin seems like a really enigmatic character! :D

Author's Response: Yay, I'm glad you like it! :D


Name: shewhomstnotbenamed5 (Signed) · Date: 09/16/07 17:40 · For: Chapter 1 - The Ashwood Manor
so wait.. is harry dead then?

Author's Response: No, Harry isn't dead. He's lost all his powers, and because there hasn't been anyone else who can stop him, Voldemort and the Death Eaters have taken over. If anyone else is confused, more background information is coming. Thanks for reviewing! =D


Name: jessip (Signed) · Date: 09/14/07 3:22 · For: Prologue
I agree with the other reviewers, this story is really different to the other fan fictions.
I really like this fan fiction and you describe things really well. I can't wait for more chapters to come up!!!

Author's Response: Thanks, I'm so glad you like it! =D


Name: EllaBelle18 (Signed) · Date: 09/09/07 15:29 · For: Prologue
I really like the idea - I've read so much fan fiction and this is really different. I love the story, but I agree with some of your other reviewers. Some of the background could have been more developed. I really wanted to know more about the villages. I also wanted to know how the Muggles found out about magic.

Author's Response: Double! =)


Name: EllaBelle18 (Signed) · Date: 09/09/07 15:25 · For: Prologue
I really like the idea - I've read so much fan fiction and this is really different. I love the story, but I agree with some of your other reviewers. Some of the background could have been more developed. I really wanted to know more about the villages. I also wanted to know how the Muggles found out about magic.

Author's Response: Muggles don't know about magic -- although a lot of them have been killed by Death Eaters during all of this. (Clare is a Muggle-born, if you were confused.) More about them and the villages should be popping up in the next chapter. Glad you like it so far, and thanks for reviewing! =)


Name: beautyfades (Signed) · Date: 09/09/07 13:02 · For: Prologue
Beautifully written. I can't believe that this story has only received one review! Your decriptions defanitly flow together and your writing style does not seem elementary in the slightest. It makes me want to read on. Lol. Luckily you just got chapter 2 posted so I can see where the cliff-hanger leads. ;-x

~Beauty Fades

Author's Response: Thank you so much! Your review made me smile. =D Glad to hear you enjoy it.


Name: megan_lupin (Signed) · Date: 09/06/07 1:55 · For: Prologue
Hey, Melissa.



First off, I think the story seems like it's off to a good start; it's an interesting premise, at the very least, and though there isn't a lot here in this first bit, I see Clare as becoming a well-rounded character -- always a good thing.



My main criticism would be that the events of the Final Battle and the aftereffects were sort of just breezed over. It seemed too basic, too rushed, I suppose. (Of course, this just being the first part, I have no idea if it will be gradually revealed a bit more later on. It might be.)



It seems that Clare is old enough to have felt a bit more of the war's impact than what she's revealing here, and it just seemed like it was rushed through, really. I'm assuming you're not taking much of the canon from DH into effect here, but I think there should probably be a bit more of a human or emotional level to the end of the war ...



Please don't take this the wrong way, as I've already mentioned that I think the story has promise. Your character seems like she's going to work well, but I just wanted to mention the bit about the war.



Oh, and lastly, I liked the touch about the house-elves, but like with the war, I felt that it could have been expanded a bit more on. Why, after so many years of wizards using house-elves, have they suddenly been deemed to inferior? Just something to think about.



~Megan

Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much, Megan! Definitely don't worry about me taking this the wrong way - it was really helpful. Some of what you mentioned is worked in to later chapters, but if I have a chance, I think I'm going to edit the prologue a bit. Thanks again! =D


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