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Reviews For Hermione's Horcrux

Name: mugglenetaddict813 (Signed) · Date: 07/22/09 21:45 · For: Prologue: Stirrings of Doubt
I read this story quite awhile ago actually, but I never got to write a review. I know the reason why I wanted to go back and review this story is because I absolutely love it! Of all the "Deathly Hallows missing pieces" stories, this is, by far, my favorite. I think the way you handle Hermione's point-of-view throughout is perfect. Of course she is having all of these feelings for Ron but she's also a loyal friend to Harry. It was so perfect how you brought all of that out when she was stabbing the Horcrux! One thing that always disappoints me about the HP series is that we get the whole story sort of through Harry's perspective. That's why this story is so great because you show us Hermione's perspective in the whole mess and you handle it amazingly well. One of my favorite parts is the scene right after Ron leaves. The figure of speech (I can't remember the exact words) describing Hermione's sense of loss makes her character so real, and I certainly feel sympathy for her. I also love Ron's speech to Hermione about promising to never leave again because it falls right in line with the plot of Deathly Hallows. So, thank you for such a great fan fic! I hope I read more from you soon! :)

Name: Arial Felchem (Signed) · Date: 04/04/08 15:51 · For: Chapter 2: The Horcrux
Awesome ending to this story. This is a left-out moment from the books, Hermione destroying her Horcrux, and the way this is written, it is entirely likely that it happened this way. Really great story all-around.

Name: Arial Felchem (Signed) · Date: 04/04/08 14:03 · For: Chapter 1: The Cruciatus Curse
This was a great chapter. I really loved it. Malfoy Manor was one of my favorite scenes in the whole series and the way it is told from Hermione's point of view was great. It's really interesting to get her side of the story for a change.

Name: Glittering_Pheonix (Signed) · Date: 02/29/08 23:21 · For: Chapter 2: The Horcrux
I loved this!
I never really gave much thought to Hermione having to choose between Harry and Ron before, it makes perfect sense that that would've troubled her! And wow, her horcrux... that was pretty intense, my goodness! I also really like the part where Ron was promising her that he'll never leave her =) I thought he was going to kiss her!
You had a great ending as well! Very nicely done =)

Name: whatwehopefor (Signed) · Date: 02/19/08 1:13 · For: Chapter 2: The Horcrux
beautifully written. seriously my favortie so far...

Name: mock_turtle (Signed) · Date: 01/30/08 16:35 · For: Chapter 2: The Horcrux
wow...I thought from the summary that hermione made a horcrux, but i like this better. It was really good! I like it a lot :)

Name: ProfPosky (Signed) · Date: 01/30/08 13:31 · For: Chapter 2: The Horcrux
A very interesting look at things from HErmione's point of view - very literary, as she would be, and a keen insight into what the horcrux would find her exploitable weakness. You caried a them throughout which comes to fruition in this last chapter, doing a masterful job of avoiding being sidetracked by events and details which would not have contributed to your story and it's meaning. Fabulous job!


Name: siriusblackhead (Signed) · Date: 12/09/07 17:40 · For: Interlude
All I can say is, awwww. And I can't wait to hear what Hermione's Horcrux is going to be like. Update soon!

Name: siriusblackhead (Signed) · Date: 12/09/07 17:26 · For: Prologue: Stirrings of Doubt
I just happened upon this story, and what a nice start! You completely captured how Hermoine would be feeling and my heart breaks right along with her. Very nice writing.

Name: juleiscool (Signed) · Date: 12/08/07 20:17 · For: Interlude
This is getting to be really cute. Although I can pretty much guess the ending, I can't wait until the next chapter is up :3

Name: Insecurity (Signed) · Date: 12/06/07 11:27 · For: Chapter 1: The Cruciatus Curse
Well, to say this story has all the ingredients to make me want to pull my hair out (Hermione/Ron pairing, angsty Harry, set during what I believe was one of the dullest parts of Book Seven and featuring absolutely N-O Snape) I think you’ve done a bloody good job! Really – you have! This story manages to convey the highly fraught emotions of the characters without being too overbearing. In so many stories about Horcrux trials, the plot becomes tangled up with all the angst and frustration the characters are feeling. You write about these feelings in a sophisticated way that makes them seem real rather than melodramatic.

I like how you use imagery and symbolism sparingly, but when you do it is powerful. This line is particularly striking: The brown, crunchy mess beneath her feet moved with each step, a disgusting cushion of death and decay. A great way of bringing in the leaves that we associate with late autumn and subtly inferring the state of the Wizarding world. You don’t need more than this sentence – it says everything! Another that I liked: Each drop ripped another little piece of Hermione away. This is a brilliant metaphor – you turn what we usually associate with rain (purification, cleanliness, healing) on its head and use irony to show her emotional breakdown. It is extremely clever.

You write Ron and Hermione together very well. It’s pure awkwardness between them most of the time, even though it’s obvious to Harry, them and the reader how they feel. You’ve kept true to how JKR develops their relationship in Book 7 really well. I commend you for resisting the temptation of pushing it further along. I loved the scene where they were picking mushrooms together, how Ron wanted Hermione to ‘check the mushrooms’ just to have a moment alone with her. It made me realise how difficult it must be for the pair, wishing to be together but not daring to upset Harry at the same time.

Midway through Chapter Two I was a little worried that you were going to simply re-tell parts of the book. Don’t get me wrong, the way you recall is better than JKR actually wrote them, I wasn’t dropping to sleep like I was during Book Seven, but I thought maybe some of the details could have been shortened. Having said that, I love how you wrote the torture scene from Hermione’s POV. It’s a very disturbing event in Book 7 – we know what is going on but we don’t get access, and so having it from Hermione’s POV and being able to hear Ron’s screaming worked really effectively. I liked how you portrayed her inner-strength and the way she moulded the truth. My favourite part, however, was when the others rescued her. I love how she’s too bewildered to understand: She kept getting close to it, nearly reachable…A finger twitched…Ron bellowed…why couldn’t she just get there already? So much noise…lights…everything in and out of focus. Really good use a ellipses for pacing, that shows the reader exactly how she was feeling. You managed to shed an entirely new light on this crucial scene – well done!

I think you have a great writing style and the ability to capture certain moods very well. You include snippets of humour, even, during times of great darkness and you show how things would have been realistically for the trio. You did an amazing job! Maybe more Snape in the next one? Hee!

Author's Response: Wow, coming from you, who are so incredibly thoughtful and insightful about what you read, I am so honored! And a bit floored! Kinda speechless... Thank you!

Name: AngieJ (Signed) · Date: 10/12/07 17:58 · For: Chapter 1: The Cruciatus Curse
Oo, I like it! Good work!

Name: FordPrefectZaphod (Signed) · Date: 10/05/07 8:55 · For: Chapter 1: The Cruciatus Curse
This hasn't been updated for quite a while. Is it finished?

Author's Response: No, it's not. I just ran into a bit of a snag with the next chapter and my way of dealing with it has been avoidance. I'll try to resolve it soon.

Name: Skipper424 (Signed) · Date: 09/20/07 6:33 · For: Chapter 1: The Cruciatus Curse
Okay, I have to admit, reading the seventh book several times through, I never, ever thought of Hermione washing Harry and Ron’s dirty underpants until I read this chapter. I laughed out loud at that part. I don’t know why, I don’t think you were necessarily going for humour there. Maybe it was just the notion of me asking any of my friends, male or female, to do something like that and getting a great big ‘do it yourself’ thrown back at me. Either way, you definitely added something to that whole bit about hanging out in the tent all that time that I had not considered before. Loved it, thanks for the laugh, whether you meant it that way or not.

Once again, Ravensgryff, you have done a marvellous job bringing to light Hermione’s perspective on the sequence of events in this chapter. I really thought you did a wonderful job with your characterisation. You’ve kept Hermione in character, while bring out things about her – the way she reacts, thoughts in her head – that we did not necessarily know from book seven. I liked how you brought out here frustration with Harry and Ron, her desire to stay focused on her their task, her longing to be with Ron, and how she wonders what might have happened had she just fled, or stayed behind (even though she knows that doing so was really not an option).

The best part, as far as I was concerned, was the torture part. I just thought you did so well bringing that part alive, making your reader feel everything Hermione feels, and see her thoughts. Your descriptions were gripping: Again and again, waves of burning, tearing, squeezing, slashing, pounding riddled Hermione’s slowly dying body. Even the parts that were already dead, her hair and fingernails, screamed in ghostly agony. I don’t know if you can do better with Cruciatus Curse, just wonderful description there, without being too much.

I’m really looking forward to the next chapter … which I just so happen to have (before everyone else!). Great work to this point! Hermione is one of my favourite characters in the HP Series and you are doing an outstanding job with her here!

Author's Response: Thanks so much! As the person responsible for all the laundry in my house, that wasn't a far stretch for me to envision at all. :-D Glad you're liking the story - I hope the next mini-chapter isn't too horrible ;-)

Name: Skipper424 (Signed) · Date: 09/13/07 8:33 · For: Prologue: Stirrings of Doubt
I really enjoy the way you portray the range of emotions going on inside of Hermione in this opening chapter/prologue. We knew from the books that she was distraught / devastated when Ron left, but we never really got a peak inside like this. You have done a great job completing the picture here.

In particular, I like how you bring out Hermione’s consciousness of the fact that the Horcrux is amplifying the negativity energy in its wearer. I like how you show that she knows it is affecting her dreams and her ability to think clearly, as well as making Ron more unpleasant as well. What I though was the best, however, is how you made her wonder if the whole situation was just giving her a preview of want Ron was going to be like any time he faced adversity. It is so realistic, I think, for her to think about the situation that way, and wonder what it implied for their future. Great job on that!

I also think you maintained a good balance in regards to her disposition on Harry. I can see a part of her being very upset with him, almost wanting to blame him for what has happened, for their current situation. At the same time, she knows what is really going on, why they are doing it, and why they must endure it. It’s like she has these feelings inside that she can’t help, but still hasn’t lost sight of their purpose, their goal.

In the last sentence of the first paragraph, there is a comma at the end of the last sentence, not a period. Um, I can’t think of any reason that should be there. Other than that, I cannot find anything in here that jumps out at me, crying to be fixed. Wonderful job!

Name: ProfPosky (Signed) · Date: 09/06/07 22:38 · For: Chapter 1: The Cruciatus Curse
A very strong story!!!

Name: harrypotterfangirl21 (Signed) · Date: 08/25/07 22:03 · For: Prologue: Stirrings of Doubt
Wow, I really like this so far! It's a really good portrayal of Hermione's feelings throughout the entire camping debacle. The descriptions of her emotions when she had to wear the Horcrux were especially well done... I felt like I was there with her, sharing her anger and her pain.
Can't wait for the next chapter!

- Katie

Name: loony_luna1229 (Signed) · Date: 08/25/07 15:18 · For: Prologue: Stirrings of Doubt
i like this, always wondered what hermione was going through when she wore the locket.
updating soon, hopefully?

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