I just found this today. That's what I get for not paying attention, I guess.
I noticed how much you've grown as a writer since you wrote the stories under your other account. Your descriptions are great. Not that your other stuff isn't good, but I would never know that they were by the same person.
I can see what other people are saying about Fred and George not being extremely different, but I think this story really worked well the way you did it. After all, who wouldn't overreact when faced with the death of their best friend?
My only nitpick: it's spelled Diagon Alley, not Ally. I'm a beta. You can't slip these things by me. ;)
Overall, wonderful job!
Wow! really good! for some strange reason Fred's death, to me was the hardest to read. Well, done!
Author's Response: Thanks!
I'm not sure I liked this, you made it seem as if Fred and George were completely different people. While I'm sure they could recognize their differences, you made it seem like everyone thought of the twins differently. It just doesn't quite fit.
*sniff* poor george!!! :-(
This story was ok except that according to canon George is not shy. He is barely less dominant and shy than Fred, but this story made it seem as if the twins were dramatically different.
Also there were several errors
A cup of tea- - - -sat at his usually seat. (This should be usual seat)
“Fred wouldn’t want you to act like this, would he?” Percy said, while Fred’s voice expressed his agreement in the George’s head. (agreement in George's head, not the Geroge's head)
in his hast to escape the house, (haste*)
Author's Response: The way I wrote this, I imagined that George would be overcome with grief, which would cause him to blow small differences between him and his brother out of porportion. And thank you for pointing these errors out: I have already fixed them.
Hmmmm . . . . I think I like it. You capture George's feelings quite well. I don't like the whole part about the 'mean Fred,' I think George should have just been talking to himself.
Is this a one-shot? I can't quite tell. *crosses fingers hopefully for another chapter*
Author's Response: Fred is crueller than George, you know. In this fic, George knows that, and as I have said in response to another review, he blows it out of porportion.
wow, emotional. i admit i still havent quite gotten over fred's death. im glad that george was able to confide in ginny though.
omg. i cried so much while reading this. i look forward to reading more.
Author's Response: Thank you! Sorry, though, it was only a one-shot.