MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!

Name: PheonixAnimagus (Signed) · Date: 01/18/09 17:09 · For: Madrid
Very unique; your voice is clear and un-convoluted. Believable and beautiful. I can't wait to continue! :)

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm very glad you enjoyed it!

Name: Hormiga (Signed) · Date: 01/02/09 5:08 · For: Algiers
I loved ur characters, ur settings, but above all, how human it all was.. it was a magical world with a twist, since magic was not the center, but conflics in diferent historical periods... great story, just great

Author's Response: I'm glad you enjoyed the story, and thank you for the review. I'm a bit of a history nut, so it is nice to be able to write the past in ways that people will enjoy and not find old.

Name: Celebwen (Signed) · Date: 12/13/08 12:45 · For: Algiers
This is lovely. Very well tied-together and sweet.

Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Name: FireboltCrasher (Signed) · Date: 09/11/08 20:19 · For: Algiers
This story is really interesting. I can't wait for the update!

Author's Response: Glad you like it! I hope to write more when life gets a little less hectic.

Name: SinningAngel (Signed) · Date: 09/06/08 8:00 · For: Algiers
This is really interesting...but where is it going?

Author's Response: It isn't really going anywhere. It is a series of vignettes showing a window into peoples lives throughout time- people, daughters mostly, who are linked together by the thread of a necklace which is passed down to them at turning points in their lives.

Name: Stephallovertheworld (Signed) · Date: 08/21/08 9:30 · For: Madrid
This is a very intriguing story. I love your writing style. It keeps the story moving at a good pace while also doing a fabulous job of setting the mood of that specific chapter and describing the different settings. I like how you don't preface your chapters with a blatant description of the character and where they are. You have a very subtle approach that's intriguing, like I said before.

So basically, I think this story if very original and fun to read. I hope you stick with it!

Author's Response: I hope I am able to stick with it as well. Writing the little sketches is really enjoyable, especially now that I don't have as much time for writing. I'm really glad that you enjoyed the story, and thanks for all the kind words!

Name: Ravencorgi (Signed) · Date: 08/18/08 20:47 · For: Algiers
This is...just incredible. All of the stories, the places, and the people in them, seem so alive and real (well, the places are real - but I love how you slip the Wizarding World into it all). You've made me want to travel to all these different cities! How much time did you put into researching all these different cultures and time periods?

Author's Response: I'm glad you like the stories. I usually spent a couple days doing basic research, although I was a history major in undergrad and pulled a great deal from my classes as well. I also tried to read other stories set during the period, or watch movies from the same.

Name: cocomaloco (Signed) · Date: 06/26/08 16:57 · For: Algiers
awwww its a beautiful little chain of stories. how many generations has the little bird been passed down now?

Author's Response: Thanks for the review, I'm glad you liked it. As for how many generations- I've no idea, its really too many to count. But if you assume that its been about 500 years with a new generation every 25 years or so, I think that would make it about 20, give or take.

Name: kritchen (Signed) · Date: 03/27/08 20:39 · For: Bangkok
Oh my heavens, I'm simply itching for more. Please do tell me that you have another chapter in the queue for this!

The transition from the beginning to later down the line was very smooth, and still marked out that this wasn't the same girl from the beginning. I really do wish to know how this story ends and all its little twists and turns.

Author's Response: I'm glad that you are enjoying this! I'm putting out one shot chapters rather slowly (and unfortunatly with big gaps) because of the research I'm putting into this, but I eventually hope to trace at least every other generation from 1492 to the present. Since the necklace is passed down from mother to daughter, I hope this will provide the continutity and trasition that you were talking about. rnrnThanks again for the kind review!

Name: kritchen (Signed) · Date: 03/27/08 20:34 · For: Madrid
Oh wow. I just read a book about a Jewish girl hiding her faith in 16th century England. This is a fantastic story to find! I love the characters and I can't wait to see where you take them.

Author's Response: Thank you. I'm hoping to add one shot chapters as I go until (someday in the distant future) I have at least one for ever other generation of the family and can trace their movements around. I'm glad that you liked it and hope it will continute to live up to your expectations.

Name: tiger_lily821 (Signed) · Date: 01/26/08 7:30 · For: Bangkok
Wow. This story is amazing! You can pull me into someone's life in one chapter, and that's incredible.
How many more chapters are you planning on writing?

Author's Response: I only have one more chapter already written, however, I plan on adding one here and there for quite some time as I research new times and places. (With real luck I will be able to at least get every couple of generations tracing the families travels around the world. But that's a ways off yet.) Thanks a lot for your review! I'm really glad you enjoyed the piece!

Name: flossingstringmint (Signed) · Date: 01/25/08 23:17 · For: Madrid
Great story so far. However, children in Spanish speaking countries usually prefer to use the informal term for mother, or "mama", with the accent on the second syllable, unlike the American pronunciation of "mama".

Author's Response: Thank you for your review and critique. I must confess that I am not a spanish speaker so I appreciate your comments! Thanks!

Name: Ennalee (Signed) · Date: 08/26/07 12:08 · For: Madrid
The more I read, the more Iím beginning to enjoy historical fics, and this chapter is a prime example of why. Itís easy to make the mistake of treating a historical fiction as if it was modern, but from the very beginning the world you show is not like the world JKR introduced Ėitís clearly a different time, a different place. I love that you pay attention to details, from the actual historical points to trivial things like the orange as a valued gift; you sustain the atmosphere from the beginning to the end.

Itís very difficult, when establishing a setting as atmospheric as yours, to find a level of description that works, without being too heavy on the adjectives. Iíve already said that I loved your setting Ė I do think, however, that the plethora of adjectives does make things a bit clunky at times. Adjectives can be used stylistically to great effect, but in general when youíre describing action they just bog down the narrative; when you find yourself adding an adjective for every noun, itís a good indication that youíre using too many. Iíve been reading Ursula Le Guin on the subject of writing, and one thing she commented on is that the point of (most) sentences in a narrative is to add to the story, to lead to the next sentence Ė when a sentence (at least, one in the middle of something Ė this doesnít apply in all situations, obviously) makes the reader stop, itís not performing its function.

So, while in general I really enjoyed your descriptions, which were really helpful in setting the scene, sentences like this: She only paused in this familiar task to wipe a smudge of flour from one alabaster cheek with the semi-clean back of a sticky hand or to push one strand of deep chestnut hair behind her ear until she could tuck it back into the braided mass coiled at the nape of her neckÖ made me stop, simply because the sheer number of adjectives was overwhelming.

Iím interested in the silver chain Ė itís obviously important, as it provides the title of the story, but its significance has yet to be revealed. Likewise, the characters you have established are interesting, and I canít wait to find out where you go with them. You did a great job setting up the story, with a convincing setting and mood, establishing the feeling of fear that is hanging over them Ė I canít wait to find out where you go with it!

Author's Response: Thank you very much for such an in depth review. I agree with you that I never particularly liked those sentances, but I hate flat out describing a character so I tried to cram too much in at once. As for the significance of the neclace, I hope to get that chapter out soon.

Name: Pissenoffanis (Anonymous) · Date: 08/25/07 18:49 · For: Madrid
Hmm an interesting spin on the wizarding world! I like how you used jewish culture in the story - it shows diversity.

Author's Response: Thank you for the review. Actually, most of the culture was Muslim, not Jewish, although at this time the Jews were being expelled from Spain. Hope that cleared things up!

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