MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!

Name: harrypottergurl (Signed) · Date: 06/08/10 11:10 · For: The Subtle Science and Exact Art of Weaselling
I loved it. Espieally when the Malfoys had to spend 3 years as muggles. That was a great idea.

Name: Roommate of the Quillster (Signed) · Date: 08/28/08 11:23 · For: The Subtle Science and Exact Art of Weaselling
Miss Joanna, this was quite amusing. I did enjoy the story, and the smug Mr Malfoy. You added many clever things into your story which made it quite an enjoyable read. However, there were moments where the story’s flow was interrupted by silly details. For example:

Enid dropped her knitting needles onto her lap. “What’s this, Angie?

I’m not sure who Angie is… ;) Unless it’s some strange nickname for Augusta? Might want to fix that one… it threw me off as I was reading.

Augusta’s eyes flashed, making her already formidable bearing quite menacing.

What’s an already formidable bearing? And how can it be menacing? I think you’re trying to say that she’s formidable normally, but when her eyes flashed she was even more menacing, but it was just worded awkwardly the first time.

She marched to the door in high dudgeon. She still marched in the hall. And then the house door slammed, a house-elf squeaked, and one of the portraits exclaimed, ‘Augusta Mary!’

I’m not sure what “She still marched in the hall” means, whether it’s a type of marching or if she continued to march down the hall, but I do love that one of the portraits responded to her unheard temper. :D It made me happy to hear a reaction to that tantrum. That was a lovely detail.

All the rest of the surviving Death Eaters are under lock and Vanished key.

-giggles- This wasn’t a distraction, but look how clever you are… Vanished key… lol!

As for the actual story, I liked the banter between the three elderly people. Algie and Augusta and Algie and Enid’s relationships were quite enjoyable. I did smile at that quite realistic setting.

However, there were times in the middle of the storytelling where the pace of the story slowed to the point where I almost stopped caring about what came next because your words didn’t beg me to keep reading, or even convince me to read every word. I enjoyed it, but I was ready for the pace to resume. At the beginning up to where Algie agrees to head the trial and after the punishment is agreed on, the pacing is excellent. But in between it sometimes gets lost in Algie’s head. Perhaps you did that intentionally to convey his character better, but it didn’t work 100% for me.

That being said, I rather liked the Trio’s participation in this story even though they were never physically in it. I also very much enjoyed the small details you threw in from the magical world that we don’t typically discuss, such as the Vanished key and the “hex me however you may.” Those touches were delightful.

So, nice job with this, it was fun read!

Author's Response: Shanae, thank you so much. I'm glad you enjoyed this. Angie: quite a popular Lancashire pet name. And they say the Longbottoms are of Lancashire. Also, 'Algie' and 'Angie' seemed a pair. I like playing with names. So there I went. Hee. Thanks be to SPEW, you lovely ladies shall be my eyes to awkward wording. ^_^ The drawing room had a door. So Augusta marched to it, and then marched in the hall outside it. /facepalm/ I do have to clear that up. "...lock and Vanished key..." Ooh, I'm happy you liked that one. As I write, idioms and expressions come to mind. Before using them, I try to Potterize them. Makes it more enjoyable that way, both writing and reading it. Sorry I didn't give the trial more oomph. But thanks for plodding through and then giving me this lovely review, Miss Shanae!

Name: Osced (Signed) · Date: 01/09/08 14:27 · For: The Subtle Science and Exact Art of Weaselling
Great story, well written and very funny!

Author's Response: Thank you, Samuel!

Name: hocuspocus88 (Signed) · Date: 08/25/07 6:07 · For: The Subtle Science and Exact Art of Weaselling
An excellent piece of writing! Well done!

Author's Response: Thanks, hon.

Name: Hestia Jones (Signed) · Date: 08/24/07 22:23 · For: The Subtle Science and Exact Art of Weaselling
Cool!! Nicely done.

Author's Response: Thank you, Eliza.

Name: Rosemary Hoyt (Signed) · Date: 08/24/07 10:17 · For: The Subtle Science and Exact Art of Weaselling
Oh, this is wonderful! I loved your characterization of Augusta, Algie, and Enid. I smiled through their whole conversation at the beginning.

And I thought the trial was very well thought out and fit precisely with the little we know about Wizengamot trials. Honestly, this is the best and most realistic "Malfoy's Trial" entry I've read so far.

Awesome job! *loves it*

Author's Response: Thank you so much, Rosie! *hugs* Glad you liked it, and glad I did an 'awesome job'! But let's not count our hippogryffs yet, there are more great entries to come, I'm sure! ^_^

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