*speechless* That was awesome! Creepy in all the right ways, and...well, creepy. *shivers* Good, though. Very believeable.
Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad you thought it was good . . . and creepy. ^_^
Very good start. I love the subtle parallel to Harry - forgotten birthday, Dudley-ish person nearby - quite nice!
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you liked it -- and you noticed my Harry/Tom comparison! Yay! ^_^
Ooh, ultimate Voldy ownage!
So creepy, and awesome! I really liked Amy and Dennis, and how they insulted him by saying he was normal.
:) I'd love to see more of your work....
Author's Response: Thank you, Stubby! ^_^ I always thought of Tom as hating being called normal - hence the name change. And fear not! A sequel is on the way... though it probably won't be up until late October. Until then, you're beta-ing my songfic, remember? ;)
Interesting first chapter! I almost never see fics about Tomís childhood, so this is definitely very original. Iím intrigued. =)
First of all, I loved how you characterized Tom! I think you kept him very close to what we saw of him acting like in the books, as well as adding your own spin to his character. In the beginning I even felt sorry for him Ė something I donít normally do. He seemed like just a little boy who wanted someone to notice him. The sympathy didnít last long though, as the story subtly shifts from making you feel sorry for Tom, to being able to see how creepy he can be, especially when he kills the rabbit. The way you wrote that scene, and also the ending line, were very powerful; I nearly had shivers.
This line also really stood out to me - No one ever remembered Tom. Not yet, anyway. I really liked that sentence, and I think it foreshadows very well what type of person Riddleís going to become. It also fits with the title about him never wanting to be ordinary, even when heís so young.
I also liked how you slipped in the characters we saw in HBP. It was nice to see Mrs. Cole and Billy get a personality, and Iím interested to see how their characters will play into the storyline.
Author's Response: Thank you for the great review! ^_^ I do almost feel sorry for Tom in the beginning when everyone forgets him and nobody likes him, but as soon as he killed that rabbit I lost all of my sympathy. Thanks again for the review! (It made me smile!)
I really liked how you showed Voldemort slowly becoming the evil that he was. I liked how you expanded on his reasoning for the anagram.
Voldemort almost seems like Hermione's evil counterpart. Memorizing textbooks, reading 'Hogwarts, A History' ten times(Wingardium Leviosa anyone!) ;-)
Author's Response: Ha ha, I always pictured Tom as a bit of a teacher's pet (with an evil side, of course). Glad you picked up on that! And thank you... I figured that I needed to have him figure out his new name before I finished this, or it wouldn't seem "finished" (to me, at least). Thank you for reviewing this again!
SQUEE! Katie! *tacklehug* Wonderful, absolutely wonderful! *goes wide eyed with vacant stare* you are my idol *drool*
Author's Response: *tacklehugs back* Thank you for the review! ^_^
What am I gonna do with myself now that this is done? ^_^
I'm really glad that you wrote this chapter, because it really ties up the ends of the story... I think we all wanted to see when he would choose the name Voldemort.
It's a good thing that Tom didn't choose to go by "I AM DOVE-TROLL R. DOOM." Much less menacing.
I hope you write a story about Voldershmookins' years at Hogwarts! That would be awesome!
Author's Response: Thank you! And yes, Dove-Troll R. Doom somehow managed to escape Tom (wonder why?). I think I'm going to write another fic like this about when he was at Hogwarts... but don't hold your breath for it. It won't be done for a while. Thanks again for reviewing! (Oh, and as for what you can do with yourself... you can always explode a toaster. ^_^)
You know what this kind of reminds me of? In the musical Annie, the way the other orphans keep telling Annie that she's not special, that her patents aren't coming back for her, and Annie keeps insisting that they are, that she's different from the other orphans.
It must be hard to feel like you have your own identity in an orphanage. You can kind of sympathize with Tom there.
OH. MY.GOSH. This is definitely my favourite chapter so far. I mean, the way Tom interacts with the kids... he's so poised and confident and so clearly above their level, and he's so persuasive... you can definitely see the adult Voldemort in him. You're so unbelievably talented at writing about this character.
Also, the way he reacts to people calling his name-- it's just like the adult Voldemort, how he finds other people irritating and below him. You can sort of see why he treats the Death Eaters the way he does.
Anyway... I think the most disturbing thing in this whole chapter was that Tom waited until they were in the cave to torture them. He even MADE SURE they didn't fall on the climb down the cliff. He had to impress his power on them before they died... that's just like the way Voldemort acts around Harry.
But your descriptions of inside the cave... I know I'll be having nightmares for weeks. I absolutely love your writing.
And it implies that Tom INVENTED the Cruciatus and Imperius curses himself before he even got a wand... that's possibly the most brilliant thing about this story.
I don't know what I'm going to do until the next chapter is updated. This is one of my favourite stories on MNFF.
Author's Response: Aww, thank you! I tried to make Tom as absolutely evil as possible in this chapter, and I'm glad to see it worked! (Though I'm really, truly sorry if I gave you nightmares.) I can't thank you enough for the lurvely reviews! But never fear!! The fourth (and final) chapter is in the queue!!! (Ack! Exclamation points overdose!)
Ohhhh... Billy visisted the rabbit's grave. Shows a different side to him, I like that. I love the way you showed Mrs. Cole's point of view of Tom's personality... it's good.
You know what I find a bit eerie? In this chapter, Tom reminds me a bit of Jordan from my future-gen story... eek, that doesn't bode well for Jordan.
SORRY! TANGENT! Okay, sooo...
Anyway! It is incredibly awesome that you brought Nagini in. I never even thought he might have known Nagini before he was an adult, let alone going to Hogwarts. (For some reason, I always had this theory that she was the snake Harry set free at the zoo... or else Tom picked her up from the Gaunts' house.)
This is really creative and different... I love the way you show Tom's feelings and thoughts. I've said this before, but I've never read a story like this before.
Your descriptive skills are, as always, beautiful. You really pay attention to your word choice, and I like that. I can't wait to click the 'next' button!
Author's Response: Eep! I didn't mean to make him like Jordan... (Though in my defense, I wrote this before I read your future-gen story.) And THANK YOU ever so much for leaving me such nice reviews - they make me feel all warm and fuzzy! ^_^ (Oh, and have fun clicking the 'Next' button!
I absolutely love this story, and I've read it squintillion times... it just hit me that I've never reviewed it!
Well, we can't have that, can we?
This is the first story I've ever seen about Tom's childhood. It's always hard to write about a main character like Tom, because you have to make the reader sympathetic toward him, but not too much or else he becomes too human and un-Voldyish.
Well, I thought you did a FANTASTIC JOB. The part about birthdays was great-- I never even thought about that-- and it's interesting to see Voldemort's inner thoughts as a boy.
The first part of the chapter made you feel sorry for TOM, poor kid whose birthday no one remembered. So it's really interesting how you show the transition, specifically describe his smile as 'evil.' You get the idea that's the first time he really thought about hurting people and getting satisfaction from it... and that's very powerful and very creepy.
By the third part of the chapter, he really feels like the Voldemort we know and... well, you know. The bit about Voldemort likng things different was absolutely great...you incorporated all these little nuances of his character and stuff.
I just have one critique, and that's the second to last paragraph. It kind of seemed like you borrowed Tom's description verbatim from the book, and I kind have would have liked to see your own take on it.
But that's just one thing! This is faboo indeed, Katie!
Author's Response: Thank you SO much for this review! (It's almost as long as the story - ha.) I know what you mean about the next-to-last paragraph, though. It was just really hard to describe Tom without referring to the book (though I maybe referred to it too much). Thanks again for the review!
Creepy! Katie, my Godric woman! You're dating Tom and this is what he did! *shudder*
So creepy, but I just loved the description of it all! But if Amy and Dennis were all shaken up and stuff, how could they survive the swim back? And wouldn't Mrs. Cole be mad that Dennis and Amy were soaking wet?
~Lindsay and Remus, addicted to the story!
Author's Response: Thank ye! This was supposed to be *really* creepy... As for Amy and Dennis, I think that Tom forced them to swim back. And don't worry, they get into trouble in the next (and final!) chapter.
Ha, you brought in Nagini! Wow, this is so... indescribable, but in a good way! Like, wow, but you don't know what else to say because it would all be lower than what your story really is. Like, if you said, 'awesome story' it would really be better than 'awesome'. Yeah.
~Lindsay and Remus!
Author's Response: Aww, thank you! ^_^
Oh, wow, Katie, this is uber cool! Love how you've written Tom and stuff. Are you sure you want to be dating him???
And yet, poor Tom. No one remembered his birthday. Sort of like Harry.
Loved it! :D So reading the next chapter!
~Lindsay *Who will be in your next dream, throwing purple ice-cream at your head*
Author's Response: Ha ha, I'm sure. ^_^ I made sure that no one remembered his birthday because I wanted to stress him WANTING to be remembered... And you're my tenth review! *passes out cake*
I liked how being called normal was offensive to Tom. Go old Voldy!
Author's Response: Double posts are fun. Double posts are fun. ;)
Author's Response: Huh. The original post got deleted. *scratches haed* Well, anyway, thanks for your review! I always imagined Tom to take being called "normal" as the highest form os insult.
I love how you put Nagini in! It's an interesting idea that he would know her since childhood, maybe being the only real "friend" he ever had.
Author's Response: Thanks! I always imagined him to be really friendless and alone, but putting Nagini in made the bond between them more believable, I think.
I loved the last line. A great description of what is to come. I'm going to tell my friend about this story; she's a bit more into Voldemort than I am.
I'm surprised that there are so few reviews. Though I really don't like Tom Ridlle/Voldy/Whatever, I felt bad for him for a second. I didn't think that was even possible! Great job!
Author's Response: Thanks so much! I know, when I was writing this I almost pitied him... almost. :)
Wow, I just finished the last chapter and went right to this chapter, I really liked the start that you're making. I enjoyed how Tom took abnormalty as a compliment, even as a kid you can see his thirst for greatness.
I just have one little question- wouldn't Nagini be dead by the time that Voldemort made her into a Horcrux, if he met her when he was eleven?
Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing! Nagini... I probably woraped canon a tiny bit there. Though I suppose he could have kept her alive magically...
Author's Response: 'Woraped' was meant to be 'warped,' by the way... (Typos. They happen.)
Really really good job for your first chapter, I love your writing technique and style! However, I think you should put Tom's reaction to watching the rabbit die, I think that would totally augment his characterization!
Author's Response: Thank you for your compliments! In retrospect (wow... weird word) I could have shown more of Tom's reaction to the rabbit dying. Thanks so much for your review! :)
This is quite excellent. I look forward to seeing Tom controlling his powers even more.
Author's Response: Thank you! And in the next chapter, Tom controls his powers more... too much more, if you know what I mean.
This fic is really nice. I love it how you interprate Tom. I seems like he's scared at the first bit but at the same time he's growing evil and not scared of the others. It's a really good idea for a fic too. I don't think I've seen or read any fics about Tom as a kid. Wonderful. Keep it up!!
Author's Response: Thank you!!! I really tried to make Tom as evil as possible. And Chapter 2 will be up soon!