Reviewer: whoathatwasrandom
Date: 06/25/08 23:16
Chapter: Chapter 1

Sarah, this is like the greatest thing ever. I love your writing :DDD I have this saved on my computer to read from time to time because I love it so much. xD

My Neville/Luna fic's in the queue (difficult word to spell xD) and I cannot wait to potentially join you in MNFF glory!

Reviewer: Scriptor
Date: 05/27/08 15:25
Chapter: Chapter 1

"If there was anything that Vernon Dursley did not like- aside from slow cars, warm beer and vegetables- it was being left out of the loop." Now *there's* some humor I can appreciate! Liking this!

Reviewer: NikaDawson
Date: 09/11/07 1:20
Chapter: Chapter 1

Lol, somehow I can't imagine Vernon doing this, byut I quite enjoyed the fic anyway. It was good.

Reviewer: osier
Date: 08/16/07 22:18
Chapter: Chapter 1

lol!! the day that happens...

Reviewer: osier
Date: 08/16/07 22:18
Chapter: Chapter 1

lol!! the day that happens...

Reviewer: Spaced Out
Date: 08/14/07 0:48
Chapter: Chapter 1

Hah, nice story. :) Not sure I could ever see it happening, but well written all the same. I liked the last bit--"He who must not be named but who gives a damn if we name him anymore"... XD great job

Reviewer: Ravencorgi
Date: 08/13/07 12:37
Chapter: Chapter 1

Aaaand the story comes full-circle! Loved the ending.

Shouldn’t Uncle Vernon know full well by now what the owls mean? Or course, it also shows that a part of him is still not sure what to think about magic. So it’s good that he’s still skeptical and not completely OOC.

“He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named-But-Who-Gives-a-Damn-If-We-Name-Him-Anymore”... Pure, hyphenated, genius!

Reviewer: Osced
Date: 08/10/07 16:14
Chapter: Chapter 1

Great.....the best ending i ever hoped on!!!! Vernon is proud of his nephew.....

Reviewer: cyt_potter
Date: 08/09/07 19:12
Chapter: Chapter 1

Oh this was good!! Definitely reminded me of Vernon Dursley! I like how he liked magic just to promote himself! Then saying Harry was his nephew! Yeah that is definitely Uncle Vernon! Good job :)

Reviewer: The Ghoul In The Attic
Date: 08/09/07 9:26
Chapter: Chapter 1

I like it!

Reviewer: madelynn
Date: 08/08/07 10:36
Chapter: Chapter 1

haha, great work!
Can I just say something? (I will anyways)
It would be awesome with a second chapter where vernon tells Petunia and Dudley about the happening, and they meet harry again. just a suggestion :P

Reviewer: jinx_pickle_jinx
Date: 08/07/07 13:41
Chapter: Chapter 1

awwwwwwwww yay mr. dursley!!

Reviewer: DeerKillerBeemer
Date: 08/07/07 13:36
Chapter: Chapter 1

simply wonderful! i wondered what had happened to the dursleys...this story gives vernon a more human appearance and shows how he realizes the "abnormality" he has dreaded and despised isn't so bad afterall. and that harry is someone worthy of his praise.

Reviewer: FeatherTrader
Date: 08/07/07 12:16
Chapter: Chapter 1

Wow! I really liked the emotion behind this; it matched quite nicely with your writing style. On that note, you have an extremely unique writing style. Usually, when writers use so many ellipses at the endings of paragraphs it leaves the reader in confusion and feeling like the writer has just up and left them, but you handled it really well. Actually, I thought it added a lot to the one-shot and meshed well with Veron’s personality.

He was, honestly, quite a bit better looking.

First off, I think you captured Vernon’s characterization quite nicely. Although, after reading this sentence in the first paragraph I felt like it was missing something. This sentence, to me, is a comparison. But, we don’t find out until the third paragraph what exactly you were comparing Vernon to. Overall, it was just a tad confusing.

Then he took into account the other ways that living with the wizard and witch down the hall.

You’re missing something at the end of this sentence. Maybe, ‘had changed their lives’ or ‘had made life a good deal easier’.

They would be in their own home on Privet Drive, with their well-watered lawn and Dudley attending boxing matches at Smelting’s.

This sentence is worded wonderfully. It has all the Vernon-like pride and loathing. Even though he has gained a lot from his guardians (protection, a new car, a better appearance, ect.) he still wants to be back in his own house living a magic-free life.

Then Petunia sat up in bed, and Vernon looked at her chin-length blond hair and appraised the lack of wrinkles and sagging, he decided that yes, he did quite like magic.

I’m not sure what to think of this new and improved Vernon. Part of me is saying he’s out of character here, but the other part of me is saying it’s justified. Basically, I guess it comes down to the face that in order for him to suddenly appreciate and approve of magic it casts him in a very vain light, but has Vernon really been that vain in the books? Petunia is often described as having a too long neck, but he married her. And he doesn’t seem too bothered by his overweight appearance, or if he does we don’t see it. Nonetheless, this sentence still made me laugh.

Vernon made his way down the steps that led outside, and gave the dewy air and appreciative whiff, clutching his briefcase in his hands. With his new looks, he got a lot more respect, and nods from neighbors.

A few very nit-picky things about these two sentences. First, you don’t need the comma after outside. Second, neighbors is the American spelling, neighbours is the British one. So, it should be neighbours, not neighbors.

“Outrageous,” Mr. Dursley murmured, reaching up to tug on his mustache and then remembered that he lacked one, “Absolutely outrageous…”

It should be a full stop after ‘lacked one.’

I really like this characteristic you’ve given Vernon, though. I love how through-out the one-shot he keeps repeating things. It gives him the feeling of being very...unbelieving? It’s like he’s caught on a single thing and just can’t accept it. Very well done. =]

If there was anything that Vernon Dursley did not like- aside from slow cars, warm beer and vegetables- it was being left out of the loop.

This, hands down, is my favourite sentence in the entire piece. Absolutely wonderful. It really moves the story along and adds a nice amount of humour to it. Very well done.

“Today is a day of rejoicing, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named-But-Who-Gives-a-Damn-If-We-Name-Him-Anymore has finally fallen at the hands of Harry Potter!”

Wow. That’s a very long hyphenated string of words. =] I love the idea though. Personally, I think that he will always be He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named to many wizards; either that or the variant you chose, which, I must say, is incredibly creative.

Basically, it all comes down to the fact that this was a wonderful bunny, and you wrote it with a one of a kind style that really added a lot to it. Keep up the wonderful writing!

Oh, and sorry for the long-ish very nit-picky review. I probably bored you half to death about half way through.

Reviewer: FeatherTrader
Date: 08/07/07 12:15
Chapter: Chapter 1

Wow! I really liked the emotion behind this; it matched quite nicely with your writing style. On that note, you have an extremely unique writing style. Usually, when writers use so many ellipses at the endings of paragraphs it leaves the reader in confusion and feeling like the writer has just up and left them, but you handled it really well. Actually, I thought it added a lot to the one-shot and meshed well with Veron’s personality.

He was, honestly, quite a bit better looking.

First off, I think you captured Vernon’s characterization quite nicely. Although, after reading this sentence in the first paragraph I felt like it was missing something. This sentence, to me, is a comparison. But, we don’t find out until the third paragraph what exactly you were comparing Vernon to. Overall, it was just a tad confusing.

Then he took into account the other ways that living with the wizard and witch down the hall.

You’re missing something at the end of this sentence. Maybe, ‘had changed their lives’ or ‘had made life a good deal easier’.

They would be in their own home on Privet Drive, with their well-watered lawn and Dudley attending boxing matches at Smelting’s.

This sentence is worded wonderfully. It has all the Vernon-like pride and loathing. Even though he has gained a lot from his guardians (protection, a new car, a better appearance, ect.) he still wants to be back in his own house living a magic-free life.

Then Petunia sat up in bed, and Vernon looked at her chin-length blond hair and appraised the lack of wrinkles and sagging, he decided that yes, he did quite like magic.

I’m not sure what to think of this new and improved Vernon. Part of me is saying he’s out of character here, but the other part of me is saying it’s justified. Basically, I guess it comes down to the face that in order for him to suddenly appreciate and approve of magic it casts him in a very vain light, but has Vernon really been that vain in the books? Petunia is often described as having a too long neck, but he married her. And he doesn’t seem too bothered by his overweight appearance, or if he does we don’t see it. Nonetheless, this sentence still made me laugh.

Vernon made his way down the steps that led outside, and gave the dewy air and appreciative whiff, clutching his briefcase in his hands. With his new looks, he got a lot more respect, and nods from neighbors.

A few very nit-picky things about these two sentences. First, you don’t need the comma after outside. Second, neighbors is the American spelling, neighbours is the British one. So, it should be neighbours, not neighbors.

“Outrageous,” Mr. Dursley murmured, reaching up to tug on his mustache and then remembered that he lacked one, “Absolutely outrageous…”

It should be a full stop after ‘lacked one.’

I really like this characteristic you’ve given Vernon, though. I love how through-out the one-shot he keeps repeating things. It gives him the feeling of being very...unbelieving? It’s like he’s caught on a single thing and just can’t accept it. Very well done. =]

If there was anything that Vernon Dursley did not like- aside from slow cars, warm beer and vegetables- it was being left out of the loop.

This, hands down, is my favourite sentence in the entire piece. Absolutely wonderful. It really moves the story along and adds a nice amount of humour to it. Very well done.

“Today is a day of rejoicing, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named-But-Who-Gives-a-Damn-If-We-Name-Him-Anymore has finally fallen at the hands of Harry Potter!”

Wow. That’s a very long hyphenated string of words. =] I love the idea though. Personally, I think that he will always be He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named to many wizards; either that or the variant you chose, which, I must say, is incredibly creative.

Basically, it all comes down to the fact that this was a wonderful bunny, and you wrote it with a one of a kind style that really added a lot to it. Keep up the wonderful writing!

Oh, and sorry for the long-ish very nit-picky review. I probably bored you half to death about half way through.

Author's Response: You didn't bore me at all- in fact, I found it very helpful. I wrote this in three hours and was so excited that I actually finished a story- it's a big deal for me xD- that I submitted it right away without getting a beta. I'll remember to do so next time; but for now I just fixed all the errors that you pointed out. Thanks again for the compliments & criticism! 8D

Reviewer: James Jameson
Date: 08/07/07 7:22
Chapter: Chapter 1

thats good! i like how you reverted back to the very first chapter of the whole series! Dedalus and hestia magically changed the dursleys... i never thought of that before. It also mad me happy to see that uncle v was proud of harry. I'm glad. Thansk for writing this. I really enjoyed it.

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