MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!

Name: beena (Signed) · Date: 08/03/09 16:03 · For: one-shot
this story warmed the cockles of my heart

Name: tc015 (Signed) · Date: 06/22/08 22:50 · For: one-shot
This is such a cute romance. I love reading Narcissa/Lucius, and this was a great snippet into her relationship.

I loved the dialogue between Narcissa and Bellatrix. Bella's bragging about the Black Family Tree was very much in character, and I loved how much she seemed to care for Cissy. Family was always important to Bellatrix, and it's realistic to think that she would care about her sister's happiness. She wasn’t always a cruel, slightly sadistic Death Eater, and it’s nice to see her show compassion.

Narcissa's fear and insecurity is easy to relate to. Her doubts about Lucius and her fears that Andromeda's eloping ruined her reputation are realistic and fit in with the character already established in canon. Cissy cares a lot about her family and appearance, and being separate from Lucius would be unbearable for her.

I loved Lucius's character; he was my favorite here. I love how you made him a kind and loving person rather than cruel and insensitive. Lucius cares a lot for his family, and his proposal to Narcissa shows this.

I loved the ending. It was very sweet; it's so cute that Narcissa thought Lucius was breaking up with her. Lucius and Narcissa are such an interesting couple to read. It's great to see stories where the two married for love and not because they were forced to.

Overall, it was a cute romance. It made me smile.

~ Teresa

Name: pandafan81 (Signed) · Date: 09/30/07 23:27 · For: one-shot
Happy Birthday Ilka Love!!!

Of course, this was meant to be posted on your (our- squee!) birthday, but this of course is a SPEW review, and thus it is being submitted last minute. I am so incredibly happy I know you. I think you are a fantastic writer and am happy to take the opportunity to show you some SPEWly review love. *hug*

I'm not really sure what drew me to this particular story today... something just make me click. I've never really been a Narcissa fan, but the idea of an elopement ruining her family honor is just so, so Pride & Prejudice. Not that I ever really thought you could parallel Mr. Darcy and Lucius Malfoy, but the theme is still there. Will the man want her with a fallen sister?

I love how a different perspecitve on two sisters can effect your image of them. We see Narcissa as a woman married to Lucius, and fearful for her son. We see Bellatrix as a cruel torturer. But an earlier scene in their lives is so telling. The sisterly affection set in a pure-blood family and social circle. The simple hugs, and reassurances are sweet.

“Yes, Lucius, a thousand times yes!”
Okay, so there's the P&P reference... but that's Jane's line ;)

I really like this scene, again another perspective. I like the idea of everyone (maybe even death eaters) of falling in love. Lucius is almost Darcy-like, in that he's thinking of Narcissa's family and social standing, and instead of severing all associations with her family, he instead chooses to help the situation.

The writing is wonderful, the grammar stellar. My only complaint is the excessive spacing between paragraphs. Excellent work overall my dear.

Author's Response: Amanda! A happy belated birthday to you too! And thanks for the lovely review. *giggles* I didn't know Jane said that in P&P, shows you what I know! *hearts P&P*

Name: miss padfoot (Signed) · Date: 08/26/07 1:24 · For: one-shot
Ilka! Aww, what a sweet story you’ve got here! It was wonderful that you showed the flipside of Andromeda eloping and what an impact it had on her family. Usually, Andromeda is shown as the hero of the Black family, but this take on the situation shows her as the “bad guy” and the people who’re usually “bad” are the protagonists here. I loved that!

I also fangirl-ed the way you write Lucius and Narcissa. *squees* Both of them are perfectly in character, and I absolutely loved the way you wrote the dialogues between them. They use all the fancy “pure-blood” language, and you’ve captured that very well. ;)

One character that caught my attention in particular was Bellatrix. Here again, you’ve broken the mould of her character that we often see in canon: the sadistic, Dark Lord follower. We see her as a loving sister, which is a side of hers that we don’t see much in canon. But, clearly, from the Spinners’ End chapter, she cares about her sister, and I liked that you showed that side of her well.

Going back to Narcissa, wow, you’ve got a great grasp on her character. Every aspect of her character, right from her family pride to her insecurity was perfectly written. I especially liked how she coolly responded to Lucius about Andromeda. That’s pretty much how she acts whenever she’s around the Trio, so I liked that very much. =]

And Lucius, I completely love that you showed the softer side of him! Guh! *giggles* Silly Narcissa thought he was breaking up with her, but aww, so sweet of him to decide to help out the family by proposing to them sooner. Even when his intentions were nice/sweet, you still managed to keep his character the way he is in canon. =] Although, I wonder if he would get consider lowering him enough to plead?

And, oh the proposal! So sweet! And the kiss! Guh, Ilka – Lucius stood and slipped the ring onto her finger, before leaning down to catch her lips in a gentle kiss. That must be the best line in the whole fic! *gushes*

Now that I’ve completely fangirl-ed you, *cough*, I caught a few typos for you:

At least you didn’t go and fell in love with a Mudblood.

The “fell” here must read “fall”.

“Of you go, now, we wouldn’t want you to be late.”

You want to use “off” rather than “of” here.

If I know my mother she is dieing to be the first to congratulate us.

*giggles* It must read “dying” rather than “dieing” here.

Lucius smiled before taking his fiancé’s lips in another, not quite as gentle, kiss.

Shouldn’t it say “fiancée” here, because Narcissa’s a woman? Hee.

Overall, thank you for such a different, lovely take on the Andromeda eloping situation. *squishes*

Author's Response: Preethi, dear! Thanks for the amazing review. I'm glad you liked what I did with the characterisation of Lucius, Narcissa and Bellatrix. Narcissa is easy for me to write, but Lucius and Bellatrix were harder. I kept thinking I was making them too soft or something. I totally adore this fancy language that I have them speak, it was endlessly funny to write and speak the dialogues out loud. *giggles* Thanks for catching all those typos. *goes off to fix those* You're the best! *huggles*

Name: seriouslysiriusx3 (Signed) · Date: 08/22/07 5:50 · For: one-shot
Very good writing, especially the charactarization. I loved how you portrayed Narcissa. :]

Author's Response: Thank you!

Name: radishearrings3 (Signed) · Date: 08/07/07 8:30 · For: one-shot
Awww, I always like a good Happy Together!Lucius/Narcissa story! Very good characterization, and I liked the point of view in the story. A lot of people would want to write about how Andromeda was fighting for what was right, muggleborn equality, but you wrote about how it affected two otherwise 'bad' people who also where in love. Which you wrote very well! Good job and good luck writing more!

Author's Response: Thanks a lot. I'm in love with Narcissa, she's such a fun character to write and while I agree that Andromeda made a difficult choice, I wanted to explore what her choice meant for the family she left behind.

Name: smiley10792 (Signed) · Date: 08/04/07 11:37 · For: one-shot
Hmm... I never really thought of Narcissa and Lucius this way before. Your story casts them in a more realistic, human light. Nice.

Author's Response: Thanks, that's exactly what I wanted to do, show that as a family, they love each other, even if they're cold on the outside.

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