Reviews For Moments
Reviewer: Burning Star
Date: 08/09/08 20:14
Chapter: A Legacy (Or, There Goes Another Piece of Furniture)

Well, you may not like it, but I sure do! Not only do yo embody the true spirits of all the marauders, you also had me cracking up from the giant squid incident until the end. Can't wait to see the last chapter!

Author's Response: Aw thanks. The last chapter is in the queue as I speak (well, type) so hopefully you'll see it soon *crosses fingers* Thank you for the review!

Reviewer: Joslyn617
Date: 07/22/08 0:17
Chapter: James Potter, the Creepy Kid Who Lives in a Toilet

Oh wow wow wow. Reading this story, i actually clapped my hands over my mouth to keep from waking up my parents with my loud giggles XD
I love every fiber of this wonderful story :) You've made my day, and quite possibly my week. Although, reading the end of it left me with a terribly sad feeling. Reading your story, i had become quite attached to each marauder, and to know each one ended up with lives much more sad than they had anticipated bummed me out. Anyway, fantastic writing, and i especially loved the group interactions. All their pranks were very funny, and you've inspired me to go and write my own marauder story :)
thank you for writing this, really.

Author's Response: My turn to say "wow!" Thanks for such a kind review! I don't think I've ever inspired anyone before. I'll be looking for your story!

Reviewer: DragonDi
Date: 07/21/08 11:37
Chapter: The Marauders' Halloween Special

Actually laughed out loud at this chapter! Very funny--great back-and-forth between the boys!

Author's Response: Thanks!

Reviewer: FeatherTrader
Date: 01/22/08 13:49
Chapter: An Exceptional Christmas

Awww! This chapter was simply adorable. It dodged a lot of the more popular clichés, and yet still showed a canon-applicable portrayal of when Lily first began to realize that James really wasn’t that bad.

I’ve always thought Lily to be hard to write, simply because it’s hard to find that balance between too mean and not strict enough. Here, I think you showed her wonderfully. I’ve never thought Lily to be a cold-hearted character, actually, I’ve always thought her to be quite the opposite, but depending on the situation, obviously the writer has to gauge themselves.

They’d just had to celebrate their twenty-fifth anniversary with a cruise for two during the one holiday when none of Lily’s friends were staying at Hogwarts.

I like the subtle ways you showed Lily was annoyed. It makes me have a certain amount of pity for her. Yet, it makes my curious mind start asking loads of questions. Like, where did Petunia stay? And, why didn’t she stay with one of her friends? But, that’s just me being curious. Also, being nit-picky, it should just be they, not they’d.

James and Sirius running rampant across the common room? Why couldn’t I be there? It was a really fun scene to read, yet made a few important points about the characters. Like the fact that Sirius doesn’t really have much money anymore (which makes me wonder how he paid for the gifts (Damn my abnormally high curiosity levels (Is this grammatically correct to have parenthesis in parenthesis?))). But, probably my favourite thing about the entire scene was the fact that James was the reindeer. After all a reindeer…a stag… I love when I actually understand allusions in pieces of writing.

Also, I’m relatively sure that it should be common room, opposed to Common Room. Although, I could be horribly mistaken.

“Say trusty reindeer, Blitzen or whoever you are?”

I love this. Especially how it’s followed by, “Yes, Father Christmas?” Not the mention the whole idea of Sirius and James attempting to sing Muggle songs and make Muggle references, and failing miserably. Also, on a more serious note, I think it’s interesting how you chose Sirius to have a hint of Muggle knowledge. I would imagine he had little to none from living with the Blacks, yet while living with James and being in the Gryffindor house, he’s learned a limited amount.

Overall, wonderful chapter. And I’m sure you’re tired of hearing it, yet I can’t resist saying it; update soon. =]

Author's Response: Yeah, I thought I might have made Lily a little too cynical, but I guess it works. I always imagine James and Sirius running amok in the Muggle World; if indeed wizard Christmas carols are different, that's probably where they get the Muggle versions. Thank you!

Reviewer: FeatherTrader
Date: 01/22/08 12:44
Chapter: Black of Night

I have to say, I simply adore your ability to take a sensitive topic and treat it respectively yet add a humourous twist to it at the same time. It's a remarkable ability. For instance, most tellings of the fateful day that Sirius left the Blacks for good are filled with angst and drama. And while this chapter does have its share of these emotions, it also has a good amount of Sirius's characterization added into it. Which is, I think, I necessary addition that many people forget about.

The scenery was ingenious. I really enjoyed the foreshadowing the violent storm gave to the chapter. Especially how the sky slowly turned black until it was completely covered; it seemed rather symbolic of the steady decline with Sirius’s family relations until it was just all hatred.

“A Mudblood, and a Gryffindor. And your son was flirting with her.”

I adore how his family refers to him. Cruel, yes. But it really gives the Blacks more dimensions. To me, it’s like saying, “Hey, this person-who-is-so-horrible-I-don’t-want-to-have-anything-to-do-with-him-and-it’s-all-your-fault-he-exists messed up again.” But that might just be me. Also, on a rather nit-picky note, there should be a comma between ‘Mudblood’ and ‘and.’

“We’ve known for a long time that he isn’t decent, Orion.” Walburga said harshly.

Ouch. Poor Sirius. I think you handled this whole scene very nicely. Although, I would think that Sirius might feel a little remorse at being put down so frequently. Yet at the same time, I suppose the point is that he doesn’t want to have anything to do with the Blacks anymore. Also, it should be a comma, not a period after Orion.

“HOW DARE YOU POINT THAT AT ME! SCUM! YOU’LL BE EXPELLED, AND THEN WHERE WILL YOU RUN?”

Sorry, Orion. I do believe you’re incorrect here. I’m relatively sure that magic can be performed in a magical household by underage wizards and witches. Of course, not legally, but there’s no way for the Ministry to trace it. Although, I suppose Orion could always go turn Sirius in or something, although I doubt that would be enough to get him expelled. Mind you, I’m not a hundred percent sure about the underage magic bit.

The last thing Sirius heard in that house for many years was his brother yelling his name, almost pleading, but in his rage, he didn’t register it.

Awww. Poor Regulus. This sentence actually sprouted an idea for a one-shot. I really loved the description of Regulus here. As a writer, you’re really good at characterizing your characters without coming straight out and telling the reader their certain actions or their dialogues. I suppose what I’m trying to say is you’re really good at subtly dropping hints as to what makes them tick. Like, I can imagine Regulus standing there in a sort of trance. Him realizing that all of the pressure has been transferred onto him; there’s no one else to divert his parent’s attention. And the fact that he no longer has a tangible brother. A brother that’s always there for him, I mean. Not that he ever really did, but still… (I have a horrid habit of rambling. Sorry about that. =])

Overall, I’m really fond of this chapter. And no, it’s not just because it’s centered on Sirius…although that might have a lot to do with it. Keep up the amazing writing.

Author's Response: Interesting bit about Regulus...I didn't really think of it that in depth... And yeah, Orion is overreacting a little bit. But thanks for the review.

Reviewer: FeatherTrader
Date: 01/22/08 10:43
Chapter: From the Bottom of the Ladder

Sirius with pink hair? Well...girls do like pink. No worries, Sirius, I still love you.

Your portrayal or Peter was, what I think, dead on. After all, he couldn't have been but so much of a follower; he was a Marauder. For some reason, I especially liked how occasionally the thought of what his life would be like without the Marauders drifted across his mind, yet he never really focused on it.

When James told him to transform into a rat, I was just waiting for him to get swallowed whole. It demonstrates the half-baked theme that some of their pranks and ideas tend to follow. They always have that extra variable, that hasn't really been thought through properly. I mean, what would they have done if Peter had been injured? They wouldn't have even been there to save him. How much harder would it have been for Sirius to become a dog and scare the cat away? It really captures the dynamics of who's more important than who.

And sorry, but no review is complete without a few nit-picky comments. =]

Peter struggled to understand down what Professor Binns said about Giant-Goblin treaties.

I don't think you meant for down to be there.

Also, in the third section, in paragraph four, there's two pieces of dialogue that run together. Also, there should be an extra space in the third section, paragraphs thirty-six and thirty-seven.

“Yes, but that was teeth. Noses, strange as it may seem, are very different from teeth.”

Really, James? I never would have known...

First off, this is my favourite line for multiple reasons. Obviously, it's funny and oozing with sarcasm. Yet, I think one of the most interesting aspects of it is, even when Peter comes up with a good point, a good idea, he still doesn't get much to any praise from it. Instead, he's at the end of another one of James's sarcastic remarks. Which fits the situation perfectly, mind you, yet, just like when the Marauders left him, puts a twist in my stomach.

I have a feeling this is going to be my favourite chapter of this entire fanfic, simply because of how much Peter there is and how much justification to his character is done.

Also, one a slightly belated note, for I'm sure you've already been informed or have simply found a way around it, you can get a good beta reader from MNFF forums, or PI. On the forums, you have the option of putting up an 'ad' for your story, or searching through threads upon threads of them. I, for one, would be willing to beta it if you're still in need. I'm PI accredited, also, so I'm somewhat decent.

Author's Response: Thanks again! My reviewing feels so feeble compared to these. And thanks also for the beta offer! It'll probably be a while until my next chapter, though.

Reviewer: FeatherTrader
Date: 01/21/08 23:56
Chapter: The Marauders' Halloween Special

Yey! At the moment, I'm ecstatic. You see, I was forced to take a break from MNFF, simply because my life had become slightly hectic. But when I finally found time to come back, one of the first things I set out to do (or at least the first thing I decided I had to read) was this story. I quite literally went through every story that dates back to August in the Marauder category. Yet, since I couldn't remember any exact titles, this became incredibly difficult. Well, finally I realized that instead of looking at the first chapters, I was looking at the last, and after going through the category several times, I found your story. And now I'm happy. And now that I'm done rambling, I can begin my actual thoughts. =]

First off, I feel it absolutely necessary to mention that I love your characterization of the Marauders. Not only did you hit the brotherly personalities of James and Sirius on the head, and the book-wormish personality of Remus, but you also did Peter justice. Finally, he's not just a tag-along that they actually didn't care about. *hugspoor,poorPeter*

You really made each individual character stand out in the paragraph about how they each react to being angry. As a reader, I can really see their personalities shine through in that one paragraph.

Right now, he was fulfilling this unwritten duty by hooking Peter and Remus’s arms around his and skipping down the dark street.

Is it just me, or does this paint one of the most perfect and funniest moments I've read about in a long time? Leave it to Sirius to do such a random thing. This just adds to my argument that you have a fantastical handle on the group dynamics. I'm so jealous of you.

I'm really curious to see if Jill has a significance in chapters to come, or if she's just a comic relief sort of thing. Although, I'm almost just as curious as why Sirius has eye-liner on hand... But I like how awe struck the boys where upon her entrance. It seems very classical fourteen-year-old boy-ish.

“For meeee? For little Padfoot? Look at the puppy-dog eyes, look at them!”

Oh, how could you even think of denying him, Remus? This is probably my favourite line in this chapter. After all, how can you dislike anything that comes from "little Padfoot"'s mouth?

Keep up the amazing writing. Sorry for the review lacking in the constructive-ness.

Author's Response: I come back from an uber-stressful calc final, and then I see two GINORMOUS reviews...day just got that much better ^_^ Anyway, glad you finally found my story and glad you still like it. Jill...was an OC that I really wish I hadn't introduced. I was going to feature her more later on, but then I decided that this story is really about the Marauders, not my twisted vision of their classmates. But maybe I'll put her in another story, I rather liked her. Thanks bunches for the great review!

Reviewer: mugglespy11
Date: 01/21/08 18:46
Chapter: An Exceptional Christmas

i love the story
especially how you end the chapters
keep writing

Author's Response: Thank you, and I will!

Reviewer: MaraudingMarauders
Date: 01/20/08 17:10
Chapter: An Exceptional Christmas

Trust Sirius and James to spread the Christmas cheer!! A truly great chapter

Author's Response: Thanks much!

Reviewer: Luna_Lovegood11
Date: 01/19/08 10:05
Chapter: An Exceptional Christmas

aww. nice chapter, plz update. soon. keep writing!

Author's Response: I'll try to update as soon as I can, but no guarantees, sorry. Thanks!

Reviewer: Luna_Lovegood11
Date: 01/19/08 10:05
Chapter: An Exceptional Christmas

aww. nice chapter, plz update. soon. keep writing!

Reviewer: Luna_Lovegood11
Date: 01/19/08 10:05
Chapter: An Exceptional Christmas

aww. nice chapter, plz update. soon. keep writing!

Reviewer: Lana Moonland
Date: 01/17/08 19:14
Chapter: An Exceptional Christmas

oh... how adorable!
the story started a little slow, but it's getting better and better! i love this chapter. good job!

Author's Response: Ahh, thank you!

Reviewer: inluvwid_pdft
Date: 01/16/08 23:15
Chapter: The Marauders' Halloween Special

FUNNY!FUNNY!FUNNY!

Author's Response: Thanks!

Reviewer: shewolf2000
Date: 01/16/08 21:17
Chapter: An Exceptional Christmas

Oooo, I really like this story! And this was such a great chapter! I loved how ridiculous you made James and Sirius (especially the candy cane dance). I never quite imagined James "eep"ing before, but it worked. Update soon!

Author's Response: Ahh, yes, the candy cane dance...featuring the song I made up driving home from summerfest at 2 in the morning last July... it was fun to write, at least. Thanks for reviewing!

Reviewer: Merlynne
Date: 01/16/08 7:23
Chapter: An Exceptional Christmas

Absolutely FANTASTIC! and I don't say that very often. I love the way you wove the whole "exception" bit throughout, great attention to detail. I was worried at first when I heard it was from Lily's perspective (because so many people botch that so wrongly), but this was fantastic. I should have known that if anyone could write Lily/James, it'd be you. You've got a great grasp on their characterization, and I think there were about five lines where I just had to stop reading to grin. Great work. You've captured Lily's maturity without making her too disdainful. Yes, excellent piece!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I wasn't really sure at all how this chapter would work out, glad it seemed ok ^_^

Reviewer: marvelousmeg
Date: 11/16/07 20:21
Chapter: Black of Night

Your story is really good!! I think that Pte should have at least a few true reddeming qualities but Sirius is perfect! That is just great emotion!!!!! I love your story!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:)

Author's Response: Um, do you mean Peter? I'm trying to make him more realistic, don't worry. Glad you like Sirius, though! Thanks!

Reviewer: Breaking Dawn
Date: 11/08/07 21:12
Chapter: The Man on the Moon is a Sadistic, Bloody Bastard

Great chapter, and story, by the way. I just have one question - what happened to the mug? Remus had it, but then they hugged and fell over - where was it?

Author's Response: The mug...sprouted wings and hovered in midair, then returned to Remus's hand. Actually, Remus probably set it down on a lamptable, conscientious person that he is. But who knows...use your imagination!

Reviewer: Pissenoffanis
Date: 11/06/07 23:18
Chapter: Black of Night

Hahaha *imagining Sirius chatting up dementors* This was a great chapter - you captured the emotions very well. I liked the contrasts you showed between Sirius and James's house.

Author's Response: Thanks!! ...Maybe I should write something with Sirius trying to talk to a Dementor? A very, very AU Dementor?

Reviewer: Merlynne
Date: 11/06/07 19:34
Chapter: Black of Night

Another excellent chapter! I enjoy your writing style, and the dialogue is fantastic.
I enjoyed the line, "littered with pictures of James Through the Ages." The reference is subtle and achieves the purpose very well. I also enjoyed the part about Azkaban. A bit of irony, I suppose. You're got a great piece coming along here.


Author's Response: :D I'm so excited that people actually catch my little OCD-ish allusions. Thanks for another great review!

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
The Weird Sisters - B-Sides and Rarities, Vol. 2 by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor 1st-2nd Years
The Weird Sisters are back for an encore. Ten more tracks from your MNFF authors.
on this side of heaven by Nagini Riddle 1st-2nd Years
Ariana Dumbledore is struck by a stray curse, and she suddenly finds herself...
The Youngest Death Eaters: Year III by DestinyMoonStar 6th-7th Years
Year 3 A year of hard choices and tough talks: Destiny learns about...
FEATURED
Oread, Walking by Seren
Cedric was just as odd as Hermione, because he liked to walk. Cedric/Hermione
The Effect of Gamma Rays on Two Terrifically Trapped Gryffindors. by Fenixaze 3rd-5th Years
From the "Stuck where for the weekend?" Challenge on Portkey.org ... Our two...
Drunk on Him by armagod679 Professors
For me, he was an obsession, a burning obsession, one that I could never let...
A Broken Hallelujah by epiphany212 Professors
You have always loved the chase. The pursuit of Quaffles and dragons have carried...
In the Hufflepuff Way by 1000timesingoldenink 3rd-5th Years
Did anybody really appreciate Hannah's mum?Because Mrs. Abbott was a heroine...
And Now... by Oregonian 3rd-5th Years
Moments after the death of Voldemort, Harry gazes at the corpse of the Dark...
The Weird Sisters - B-Sides and Rarities, Vol. 1 by minnabird 1st-2nd Years
Welcome back to another rousing round of rambunctious rock!However, a new act...
CATEGORIES