You really manage to convey the sense of loss in this story. From the first paragraph we can tell how upset Cedric’s mother is. Even the atmosphere conveys loss.
She cradled them as she had once cradled him, protected them as she had once protected him. Another line that shows us the loss.
Cedric leaves the Hall with Fleur and Viktor, followed shortly thereafter by Harry Potter. After a short bit, we all file out to the stadium. This bit just feels a bit awkward to me. Maybe you could rephrase it to something like Cedric leaves the hall with Fleur and Viktor. Shortly afterwards Harry Potter says goodbye to his friends and follows them. Minutes before the task is due to begin we all file out to the stadium.
I love how you have the flash back in first person present. It makes the events seem more immediate, rather than something that happened before. This shows how much she is still grieving for Cedric, and that the grief is still a large part of her life.
The lines immediately following the flash back had me close to tears, especially with her calling his name, like she had when she had first seen his body. It is very hard to get me that close to tears so you have once again done an excellent job conveying the emotions of Mrs. Diggory.
Andi, there really aren't words for this story. I don't know how I can be coherent after reading it.
It's beautiful and sad and gripping beyond measure. I could feel the heartache while reading it. You embody it so well...it's as though I can feel the part of you that you gave to the story.
I'm sorry that this isn't the most coherent review ever, but after reading this story, it's the best I can do.
Author's Response: Oh, Suya - thank you so much for giving my story some love! Your words mean so much to me, and it means more than you know for you to leave such an amazing, heartfelt review. I appreciate you, dear friend! *loves* ~Andi
Okay, I don't honestly think there are words that can do that story justice.
First, and foremost, I want to thank you for writing it. It changed my perspective on all a lot of messy issues.
Secondly, I want to convey to you that you defintley have a gift for writing. You literally made me feel as Mrs. Diggory must have felt. Instead of crying, which I usually do with a sad story, I could imagine Mrs. Diggory out there, remebering. That is quite a feat because I am usually not a visual person.
And lastly, please keep writing! I love your work.
*adds to favorites*
Author's Response: Alex, this is such an incredible review. Thank you so much for saying that you love my work, and that I have a gift for writing. You have given me more encouragement and support than you realize - and I appreciate you for doing that. I'm so glad my story touched you and set a visual stage for you - that's all I could ask for. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review my story - you are wonderful! *squishes* ~Andi
Andi!!! *tackle huggles* That was so touching, honey... do you want to make dear Victoria cry? You described Mrs. Diggory's pain so perfectly, if you said that you were JK Rowling right now, I'd believe you. Keep up the excellent work, moddie! *hugs again* xxvictoria
Author's Response: Victoria! *squishes* Thank you so much for reading my sad little story and for leaving such a touching review! *hands Kleenex* And that is a huge compliment you've given me, comparing my work to JKR's. *blushes heavily* You're far too generous, but I'm so thankful that you took the time to encourage me! Thank you again, my dear! *huggles* ~Andi
As a mother, I had a hard time reading this. I liked that you delved into her thoughts and anguish. JKR focused more on Amos, which actually surprised me, being a mother herself. I hope I never know the despair she must be feeling, and that any of the mums or dads here do either.
You did an excellent job on the characterization, and the thought of the pilgrimage being on Christmas instead of the day he died makes it even more poignant. The note she dropped seems to be the only way to express herself, since she is barely coherent the rest of the time.
Excellent job Andi, I have to say you tackled a difficult and touchy subject with grace and did a wonderful job.
Author's Response: Wendy~ Thank you so much for the kind and thoughtful review of my story. I am thrilled that you took the time to read my story! I, too, pray I never EVER know the anguish that Mrs. Diggory is suffering in the loss of her child. I am so sorry for the delay in responding to this review, but please know that it has been a constant source of encouragement to me. Thank you so much for your wonderful review! *hugs* ~Andi
This was so, so beautiful. I was completely riveted from the first sentence, and I simply couldn't stop reading. You captured Mrs. Diggory's emotions so well; they're raw and painful, but you captured them beautifully.
I've always known it, but I'll say it again--you have a way with words that's truly your own. This is just... Wow. Your imagery was so beautiful and wonderful, but I'm most awed about how you managed to capture her emotions. It was sad but beautiful.
I loved the part where she pocketed the handful of dirt. It almost reminds me of Neville, keeping the gum wrapper his mother gave him. And the letter. The letter was so simple but beautiful. Just like the rest of the story.
So all in all, Andi, I am speechless. This was such a wonderful story, and I'm simply floored. You're a-m-a-z-i-n-g, Anrea! *huggles* Great job!
Author's Response: Fennnnnnnnn!!! Thank you so much for your beautiful and thoughtful review of my little story - you're making me cry! I love that the pocketing of the dirt was reminiscent to you of Neville pocketing his mother's gum wrapper. I do think we tend to make treasures out of things that remind us of the one we love. I not only take to heart your review of my story, but also your encouraging and up-lifting words about my writing. They mean so much, especially as you are such a very gifted and talented writer that I quite admire. I will constantly refer back to this review on the days I wonder if I have what it takes to keep trying, keep writing. Thank you, Fenn! *huggles and squishes dear friend* ~Andi
Oh. Andrea! This is wonderful!
I love all the descriptive narrative all throughout the story.
The last lines just 'guh' they killed me inside. You did a wonderful job with this assignment/story. XD
Author's Response: Hi Ritta! Thank you so much for reading my sad fic. I cried when I wrote the last lines, so I know how you felt when you read them. They are a killer! *sniffles* I really appreciate you for leaving such a wonderful review! *squishes* ~Andrea
Andrea!! Beautifully written and so heartwrenching! You did a fantastic job!
I could feel the anguish Cedric's mother was experiencing with your wonderful descriptions.
Kudos to another superb story, my gifted twin!
Author's Response: Hi twin!!! Oh, thank you for your sweet, sweet review! *huggles* You are such an ancouraging and supportive friend - you always find the words that completely make my day. *squishes* ~Andrea
Goodness, that was powerful. It's raw and dreadful and completely encapsulates the depths of grief. I though the way you switched tenses was a good contrast betweem the present and the past - a nice juxtaposition. And of course I completely understand from your PM how this relates to other things and it makes it all the more poignant and sad. I particularly thought this was very emotive:
She allowed herself to experience fully once again the searing, excruciating torture of loss - loss that left her breathless and shaking, speechless from its intensity.
I think we can all identify with that desperate place that Mrs Diggory finds herself in.
You have a wonderful way with words, Andrea - but, of course, I knew that from Ravenclaw. It's good to see you're filling up your author page.
Author's Response: Jan~ Thank you so much for being the first to review my heart-wrenching story! However did you find it? *laughs* Yes, by switching the tenses I tried to show that Mrs.Diggory didn't just go there to remember the day Cedric died, she went there to relive it - which is a far more devastating experience to deliberately open one's self up to. Thank you for spotlighting that one particular line. The more I read it, the more amazed I am at how those who can identify with it are able to function in a more-or-less normal manner. It has to be tamped down below the surface, or we couldn't do it. Unlike Mrs.Diggory, to deliberately dig it all up again is a strength I'm not sure I possess at this time, though, like her, I do see my own personal pilgrimages in the future. Say, once a year, about this time? Now it seems too frighteningly large a task to contemplate, but I will at least open myself to the possibility. Yes, I'm slowly but surely beginning to fill up that author's page. I love writing and it was an absolute wrench to push aside the story I had been carefully crafting for my DADA final and submit this instead, but sometimes the story you *want* to write is not the story you *should* write. This story I wrote in several hours is infinitely more dark and angsty than the story I had spent weeks trying to carve into a D/A tale that satisfied me. So thank you again for your kind, encouraging words - both here and in your PMs. I appreciate them so very much. *hugs and squishes* ~Andrea