Reviews For A Suggestion
Reviewer: princess_padfoot
Date: 08/12/07 15:26
Chapter: A Suggestion

Wow! Great job. You did a great job capturing Sirius' humor as well as his fear about the war and commitment.
All in all its amazing, also i really like the prequel!!!

Author's Response: Thanks!

Reviewer: Pussycat123
Date: 07/25/07 7:23
Chapter: A Suggestion

Hmm.

Poor Sirius. I was on his side all through ... but kind of on Myra's too. I mean, it wasn't really fair of her to just suggest it like that out of the blue, and I could see why he didn't want to get married, but I could also see why she did, and ...

Oh, I suppose me thinking that is just a sign that you did your job very well ... so well done. It's a shame we couldn't see more of her character though, and explain MORE why she didn't want to be in the Order, instead of just that she was scared, because I imagine that they're all scared ... it felt like there should have been a deeper reason.

Anyway, it was still really good, and I enjoyed reading it.

Author's Response: Thanks! Yeah, I've thought about writing about how they met and such. But I have to get over Deathly Hallows first.

Reviewer: Squirllflight
Date: 07/24/07 8:11
Chapter: A Suggestion

that was eally interesting and sad. but i really liked it it was super.

Author's Response: Thanks!

Reviewer: FeatherTrader
Date: 07/23/07 9:52
Chapter: A Suggestion

Sirius! *squees*

I think you hit Sirius's characterisation head-on. I've always pictured him to be someone a little fearful to commit to a person, no matter how loyal he was. Also, the way you managed to work the Marauder-like humour into this one-shot was amazing.

“Married?” he repeated, stopping short.

Perfect reaction. I really like how you didn't go into much explanation in this section, but at the same time, we knew exactly what Sirius was thinking.

“Are you drunk a bit?” Sirius asked tentatively.

Through-out the one-shot some of Sirius's dialogue seemed a bit...off. Like above. I think it would have flowed better and seemed more natural if 'a bit' had gone before 'drunk.' Or, instead of 'Are' it could have been 'Have.' The wording just seemed awkward.

I simply adored how Sirius kept trying to interject with 'Yeah, but' and then Myra would just keep ranting. It gave the conversation more of the arguing feeling, which was what it really needed for the final closure.

James has liked Lily for years and you just knew they’d end up together.

You're missing a comma between 'years' and 'and'.

“Don’t–it’s not a club, Myra.” Sirius said with a hint of warning in his voice.

I really like how you've managed Sirius's frustration in these parts, where he'd start a sentence one way, and then change his mind. Although, it shouldn't be a full stop after Myra but a comma.

He resembled a puppy pleased to have done something right.

This is my favourite sentence in this entire one-shot, hands down. The imagery is wonderful, and the reader can't help but laugh a little.

Overall, I thought this was a very unique idea. However, I thought the ending was a bit rushed. I felt as if the reader needed a bit more closure; a bit more meaning. What effect did this change have on Sirius's life?

Author's Response: Thanks for your feedback! I've thought about writing a prequel and a sequel to this, but I don't know. Anyway, the puppy resemblance is probably my favorite sentence in the story too.

Reviewer: Draco_is_hot
Date: 07/23/07 1:41
Chapter: A Suggestion

YAY! im the 1st to review! uve done a good job w/this keep it up!

Author's Response: Thanks!

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