You know what you should've written? "His eyes are green like a fresh pickled toad". I would've laughed at that; it was part of the poem Ginny sent Harry in COS. :) Good job.
Author's Response: Haha! I did love that line from Ginny's poem. But it would sound a little odd in my poem which is serious. It would probably defeat the whole purpose of the poem's solemn mood. But if you like, I have another poem up that has a much more humorous mood and is meant to amuse. Thanks for reviewing!
That was a great poem. A job well done and Yarah isn't bad either. In my language, it means trusted friend.=Sumayya
Author's Response: I'm very glad you liked my poem! My name is Arabic. Sumayya is an Arabic name too.
Amazing work. I like how you included parts of the prophecy in there. My only critique is that you used commas in certain places where they seemed unnecessary like:
Situated above his spectacled emeralds,
Is what truly makes him unique...
The occurrences of one single night,
Are represented with this mark on his head...
And I don't think the commas were necessary in the 4th stanza.
But that is just my opinion and other than that I have to say this is an extraordinary poem. Keep writing! ^_^
Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed my poem. I'll keep your grammar advice in mind the next time I write poetry.
Excellent job! I loved this poem - especially the begining and the last few lines. I also loved the part about Lily. Nice title, too. Keep writing!
Author's Response: Thank you so much! The part about Lily is one of my favorites too.
This is an amazing poem. Great job. It has a ton of meaning behind it, and emotion and all that, and you portrayed it extremely well. Your rhyming was amazing, too. It kept the poem with a structure.
My only nitpicks:
To me, it seems as if there is little to no rhythm to this poem, or you deviated from the rhythm a lot. The only rhythm I found was in the rhyme. It's still an amazing poem, and it's *very* good, I just think that next time you should also practice rhythm.
Also: this is a small one, just about grammar, which isn't *majorly* important here. Every line ended with a period or comma, when in some places it needed neither. *shrugs*
I absolutely *love* the last two stanzas. They were so amazing. So well done. It was just so...powerful. *is awed* I love that part, it's just so well done. The ending is great, too, and the title works perfectly with it. You should *definitely* write more poetry!
Kate
Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing, Kate! I'm really glad that you liked my poem! And I will definitely take your advice about rhythm into consideration next time I write poetry.
Very nice poem about Harry!
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm so glad you enjoyed it!
