Oh wow!!! This was exactly how I picture Ted & Andromeda. How they start off with her hating him, and then... it was great! I see why it's under D/A fics, though. It does have a bit of darkness to it, and I sort of thought that this is what her life would have been like. But the final sentence was great.
She is seventeen and alive.
And by the way, Sirius and Regulus are perfectly in character for their brief appearences. Very very good job! {BeccA}
I loved this story, and the ending made me chuckle, with Sirius saluting her, it just sounds sooo Sirius. The relationship between Andromeda and her family is really well done, and I especially like the line: "She is surely not strong enough for any of this. Too weak to defy, too strong to be a puppet, she can do nothing but watch." It is a really great line. Great Job!!
After reading this I’m really very skeptical that this story belongs in the dark/angst category, but I’m not going to complain because I’m not sure I would have found it otherwise, as I’m not particularly fond of the romance category (far too much sap) and most Black family stories usually make me roll my eyes. But despite all of that, I really love this particular story.
I really like your use of the present tense. I’m not a fan of using it just for the sake of using it, but in this case it lends a sense of immediacy to Andromeda’s feelings and situation that would be much weaker if the story were told in the past tense, especially given the humanity of her family. It would be very easy for this story to feel distant, but it doesn’t feel distanced in the least. I think a lot of that is because of your choice of tense.
Andromeda’s characterization is excellent. You can see her different sides – the proud pureblood and the woman who just wants to be loved – competing within her. As we progress from section to section, the balance continues to shift, little by little. Each section is designed to show her internal balance between the two as much as it is to show the progression of their relationship, and that’s what makes it such a good story.
My absolute favorite thing about this story is the symmetry between the opening section and the closing section. It’s not overdone at all, but it’s clearly there for the reader to see and enjoy. It shows the two ends of her internal balance, and both sides still exist at each end, which is realistic (and refreshing, I might add). That symmetry is highlighted by the symmetry of the opening and closing lines, which are beautiful in their simplicity and universality. She is seventeen and alive. ♥
Oh, my, God. It's really, really good. Andromeda is so--belivible. I can see her. She is now one of my favorite characters.
