Ashley that's a great story!
The action at the beginning is wonderful! I was captivated by your choice of words in describing Luna's hearing, and running skills. A jackrabbit?! =]
And you did a wonderful job with tying in Luna's patronus into the story all over what with her running like a jackrabbit, and the family of bunnies. How lovely.
I particularly loved how you describe six year old Luna. XD
Lulu was a great nickname! And the Giant Button-Nosed Cottontails? Is that your version of the Stork? o.0
If so...wonderful! XD
I loved this paragraph:
Luna kept her eyes and ears open, just like her mother had always instructed her, while the powerful memory came surging back in a wave of emotion. She was young, reunited with Cecilia Lovegood, but older and stronger, too. She held all the advantages of knowledge that came with age, allied with the incredible happiness she felt as a child
And the last sentence...wonderful. You did a great job with this, especially with our dear Luna. You certainly 'get her' XD
Good work, girl!
Author's Response: Ritta! *squishes* I've been so bad at responding to reviews ever since school started...I feel bad for leaving this for so long. This is such an incredibly review. You're all praise, but I"m not complaining. :) I miss you like but thanks again for this lovely gem of a review! makes me all warm and squishy inside. Hehe. ~Ashley
Ashley, you did a spectacular job in capturing Luna's essence. I have never seen any write Luna so wonderfully as you have.
You have such descriptive details, that I can easily picture the memory Luna has, vividly in my mind.
You explain Luna's Patronus beautifully.
I love this story. One of my faves!
Author's Response: Lacey! *squish* Thanks so much! You sure know how to put a grin on my face, lol. Your compliments are so... :D I'm glad you liked the way I portrayed Luna and her memory, and thanks heaps for helping me come up with the perfect title! You're the best! *Turnip huggles* ~Ashley
Wow! I think you really got into Luna's heart & soul in a way that a writer should. Great piece.
Author's Response: Thank you, Trucker! A Patronus piece really allows for that inner glimpse of characters since you get to see the happy memory. I had a lot of fun writing Luna so I'm glad you liked reading my story. Thank you again! ~GG
Ashley! I *love* it! This is just a beautiful story, and you've done a fantastic job with the writing of it.
I loved how you added a rabbit family living in the yard, for it really strengthens Luna's connection to her Patronus. You did a great job in creating a beautiful portrait of her mother in such a short story, she's wonderful. And you did an amazing job bringing Luna's dreaminess down to her six year old self.
The final paragraph is absolutely touching and really wraps up the story wonderfully, making a heartwarming connection between Luna, her mother, and her Patronus perfectly. This is such a sweet story, wonderful job! I'm so glad you decided to give it a go. I'm also glad I got to help out, it was a pleasure.
Good luck in the challenge! Go Ravenclaw!
Author's Response: Thank you, Gina! I really owe credit to you for inspiring my basis for this story, and you're so right about the bunny family! Muchas gracias for the idea~ I'm so glad you like the end product.:D *squishes* Rah Rah Ravenclaw! ~Ashley
Aaaawwwwww, that was so sweet! And it was Luna-centered - that;s my type fo story! Awesome job!
Author's Response: :D Thanks. I like Luna, it's just hard to write her sometimes. *hugs* ~GG
How wonderful! What a lovely explanation of the memory and the form of the Patronus!
Author's Response: Thanks, RVC! You're a doll. =) I got the idea for the bunny from my beta who saw Evanny Lynch wearing a rabbit necklace to the OotP premier and also saw on the trailer her Patronus was a rabbit. I just took it from there! :D ~GG
What a precious glimpse into Luna's relationship with her mum! I enjoyed that, even as young as Luna is in her memory, she is still so IC. Very confidant in the knowledge of her mother's love, and not needing to be shown the room to know it. It's exactly the way she is the books - supremely confidant in what she KNOWS to be true, and does not need to see it to believe it. Very well done!
This is my favorite paragraph:
"When Luna first set foot over the boundary of the once forbidden room, she felt as if she’d entered a fantastic new kingdom. Never before had she imagined how bare the room would be — save for a bookshelf hidden in the corner and a small desk on which Cecilia used to write her notes. The walls, though still in tact, bore the colorful scars of many a spell blast. Luna pondered to herself how she could make her own bedroom walls look so pretty. "
I love that! It's a bare room covered with marks of spell blasts, but to her it's so wondrous because it's a place she's never before imagined.
You had wonderful interaction between mother and daughter, and I was so happy in your choice for Luna's Patronus - perfect!
(And I appreciate all the feelings of home in this story - desert jackrabbit, wooden kitchen floors, long-legged hare~ it all whispers "Texas" to this fellow Texan, though no one else will notice it. *giggles*)
Great job on your story and best of luck, Ashley!
Author's Response: Yay, hi Andrea! *squishes*
I'm glad to hear Luna is so IC! This is the first time I've ever written a Luna-centric fic (only 2nd time she's even mentioned in one of my fics!) so it's wonderful to know my characterization of her is acceptable. :D I always thought Luna would be that type of child to always "know" what's going on and understand adults better than other children did because she was so mentally and emotionall wise for her age.
And thanks! I like that paragraph, too. When I was pondernig how to write the story I always thought of Luna being imaginative and even more so when she learned something new, and embracing the differences she experienced.
I love Luna's relationship with her mother. I have to admit also I think her mum's nickname Lulu is just precious. :) I grin like an idiot every time I even think it, lol. I can't take credit for the Patronus though-- Gina told me she saw Evanna Lynch wearing a rabit necklace at the premier and saw on a preview that her Patronus was a rabbit, so I took it from there. :) I was having a hard time trying to figure out what animal would work best for her, but the rabbit really did work out best!
Hehe! *hugs* Us Texan gals really are the only ones who would notice I think. ;) Every time I thought rabbit I couldn't get those jackrabbits and desert sunsets out of my mind, and of course cottontails running around in fields! *sigh* I love TX.
Andrea, you are an amazing review. Anyone ever told you that? I grinned so big while reading is and then again when I came back to reply. You're simply wonderful. :D Thanks for the luck, too! I'm up against some incredibly well-written stories but it was so fun to even participate! *Turnip hugs*
awwwe! sweet and sad! i really liked this, and with Luna being so determined and stuff is good. it shows that she could be extremely serious in the face of danger and not, well, loony. bravo on this, i give you a nine 1/2 out of ten. :D :P
Author's Response: Thanks! Yeah I never thought of Luna as "loony"...she's just different and that's why I like her! She's so perceptive and definitely wise for her age. I also think she's got a bit of Gryffindor courage in her even though she's a Claw. Thank you so much for reviewing, Noel! :) ~GG