I really enjoyed this fic, it was very well written and I could feel the happy memories sliding into gloom, all of which appeared to be due to the appearance of Lucius Malfoy, hmm, I wonder why? Hermione was very much herself, getting him to do something, but perhaps there was more of a reason behind it than simpley getting rid of a pest. Maybe she knew Draco would see his father when he opened the desk and by destroying that image of him, it would clear the past out too? Just a thought. I wonder what Draco's patronus message was. Anyway, very well done.
:) i liked it...but what was the message????
*giggles with wild glee!!!*
I LOVED this story, Sarah!!! It's been so long since I have visted anyone's author's page, I didn't know you had this one here. Forgive me?
When I read the description of the story, I was worried that a lot of Draco's temper would be shown and then he would do the :I'm sorry, please take me back" speech. Thank you for proving me wrong.
It was refreshing to see Draco so carefree and it was a nice change of pace to read about his relationship with Cissy as a child as I have not read much of anything in that area. The way you brought Lucius into each memory was an excellent transition, bringing him back to present day. It was very believable and therefore easy to visualize.
As far as the challenge goes, I love the way you brought his memory of proposing to *hugs* Hermione in so that he could produce a successful Patronus. It seemed fitting to his character that he would have to use a different memory each time. He's so high maintenance as a rule, hehe.
Excellent job my dear!
OMS! I absolutely loved this fic! Is perfect, just the wya I like it... there's nothing better than a little Dramione romance to light up your afternoon... ;)
Wow! That was so cute! I loved it. I'd always thought that Draco's patronus would be a dragon. But panther sounds good.
Nice work :)
This was wonderful as all your fics are. I loved the ending, and the wording you used. it was so sad to see Draco go through so much pain. Amazing job dear as always. The way he smiled when he heard Hermione's shriek was so Draco of him.
Oh! I loved this one too! You're great!
That was so sweet! I totally loved it. Great job!
Author's Response: Thank you so much!
I loved it It was great Sarah. thanks for convincing me to read some of your stories. I loved all the ones i read.
Author's Response: Hehe, thanks Christina! I'm always glad to poke someone to read my stories. Thanks for reviewing!
i love the story but what was the message
Author's Response: The message, you ask?!
Use your imagination. ;] Thanks for the review!!
P.S. I was thinking 'I love you!'
Wonderful! Each time I read something Dramione you write it just seems so natural.
The way you set the story up with the memories was simply genius. It made the rest of the story flow quite nicely. Also, I thought the way you portrayed Narcissa was very fitting. I really liked how she was the one who babied him, while his father disagreed on the way she raised him.
He remembered his mother telling him the story of Salazar Slytherin, and his snakes.
You don't need a comma after Slytherin. I'm not sure why, but every time I read 'Salazar Slytherin and his snakes' I laugh. Goes without saying that the wording in this sentence is perfect. =]
The pet names between Draco and Hermione fit really nicely. Although normally Draco calling something 'darling' outside of sarcasm would seem forced and out of character, here you gave it a reason and it worked.
Ever since he had joined the Order after sixth year (instead of running to Voldemort and ensuring his death for betrayal), they had become close.
Sixth-year needs a hyphen. (Wow, I'm being nit-picky today.)
It did take a hell of a while, though, he thought, remembering the times that she, Harry and Ron would glare at him during meetings. But eventually, they had come around — after many bottles of Veritaserum to make sure I was telling the truth.
I had to read this a few times to understand what was going on. In the one-shot, you're missing the italics to show that Draco is thinking certain parts of the sentence. Very small thing, but when you have easily confused readers like me, it's best to just continue with the thoughts in italics.
The silver feline, in all her silver glory, crawled in the air for a moment, stretching her muscles, before she pounced glanced at Draco.
The majestic imagery is here amazing. It draws a parallel between Patronus and wizard. Very nicely put. Although, I think you're missing an 'and' between 'pounced' and 'glanced'.
The Patronus gender threw me off a bit. In the middle, when Draco is explaining why his Patronus is a panther, he goes on to explain the characteristics of a male panther, and how they are competitive and what not. However, in the end, his Patronus is referred to as a female. The explanation of the male panther just seems a bit out of place...
I think that idea that Draco would use his Patronus to relay a message to Hermione keeps the tone in the one-shot very light, which is a unique quality in this challenge entry.
Overall, this is beautifully written.
Author's Response: Ahh! *huggles Danielle tightly* You and your reviews are so amazing!! Thank you so much for your kind words, and I'll fix those errors. Sorry they confused you. :D Thanks again!!
Author's Response: *blushes* Thank you!
Wow, this was beautiful, Sarakime. A poignant one-shot. I love how you integrated Draco's childhood, Slytherin upbringing, redemption and his lovelife into this. There was just this one lapse in POV, or maybe you just forgot to italicise it? "...after many bottles of Veritaserum to make sure I was telling the truth."
This goes to my favorites. I haven't read the other entries in this challenge, but I think you did the prompt uniquely, and Draco's making a Patronus just to send a message to Hermione was lighthearted, fitting the current time when peace was at last in the Wizarding world. ^_^
Author's Response: Yay reviews! Thank you for this great review! :) Yes, his thoughts were supposed to be in italics - thanks for pointing it out!
I loved that you started off the story with Draco reminding about his mother. It's good to show his love of her so that the reader can better understand his love her Hermione. My mother always says, "If you want to know how a man will treat you, watch how he treats his mother."
I love the playfulness between Draco and Hermione. It hints back to how they use to tease each other at school, except this time around it has a new meaning behind it. That's nice and very romantic. But it's also believable, cause it shows how they've gotten over the past to start this new adventure of their marriage.
The panther represent Draco very well, according to the explanation you gave. Plus, the reasoning behind Draco selecting a different memory whenever he produced one suits him since we know how happiness has eluded Draco.
It's good to see him making new memories and cherishing them so that he can reproduce his patronus
Author's Response: Thank you so much for your awesome review, Marsha!! *huggles* Witty!Dramione is <3. Thanks for the review!
Author's Response: Thank you!
Congrats on getting this accepted. I really did enjoy reading it.
Author's Response: Thanks Elle, for betaing and all your help! *huggles teh new mod*
I absolutely loved it. I think they should be together. But that's just my opinion.
Author's Response: It is my opinion too! =] Thanks for the review!