Hi, Suzie! Here's my thank you for that amazing "Always Watching" banner you made for me. I love it so much – all your graphics are always gorgeous, actually. I wish I had another story so I could ask you to make me another banner …
Okay, this is a poem, again, so here goes. I can't write poetry at all, so I'm always impressed with those who can manage to say something while rhyming and just being amazing at the same time. This poem gives me shivers. I can feel the speaker's anguish and despair, and I really want to know who the speaker is. My first thought was Lucius Malfoy, and I couldn't think of somebody else it could be, so I'm just going to stick with that. And ha – just read the summary, and I was right!
I love all the imagery in here, the similes (crash like rain) and well, the title is a metaphor, isn't it? Hatred doesn't really flow within a person's veins, but that image is so effective. It's completely taken control of Lucius, and it feeds him and feeds off him. It's in his core. And yet, he knows it's destructive, and he wants more than anything for Draco to take a different path. He knows it's been the cause of so much pain and torture, and like a good father, he wants something different for his son. Poor Lucius. I actually feel sorry for him, reading this. And I see you wrote this before Deathly Hallows, so … wow. This is actually canon-compliant. Woot! I can totally see Lucius thinking this. Not quite so poetically, lol, but still. In DH we saw that his main priority is his family, and this poem goes along with that perfectly. I bet you were thrilled to find that out.
And wow, re-reading this … how do you make it all rhyme?! Inconceivable. Very, very well done, very powerful. You've got some talent, girl.
This is a really great, well-written poem. I love how you rhyme only some of the words; it worked out great. Loved this ;]
Author's Response: Thanks! :)
Suzie, I just love your poetry, it never fails to amaze me. Fantastic job! This is a very powerful poem. As always, your distinct attention to the details of language really give the poem a dark and emotional feeling. Your rhyme and rhythm is strong, I especially like the third stanza. Great work!! ~Gina :)
Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing Gina! I wasn't sure if the third stanza worked the way I wanted but I'm glad you liked it! <33