For your first try writing Regulus as a main character, this is very wonderful. I’m usually rather skeptical of Regulus from authors with whom I’m not very familiar, mostly because he’s such a complete character in my mind that I’m afraid someone else’s Regulus will be too different. -blush- (I know, that’s silly of me.) But, you did a great job with Regulus here.
I like the way you carried the idea of being like his brother throughout the story. It really served as a motivating factor for Regulus. It shows that maybe Regulus didn’t take the Horcrux simply because he thought it was the right thing to do, maybe he wasn’t just being noble; maybe some part of him really wanted to prove himself to a brother who never viewed him as worthy. It adds depth to Regulus, a significant flaw that I think is entirely realistic. That said, you mentioned that Regulus hadn’t had a plan when he stole the locket, that he had just done it because he had to. This is possible, I suppose, but to me it always seemed like he took the locket very deliberately, that he had thought about it a lot. To me, it seems like him not really knowing at first why he had done it sort of downplays the importance of the action. I don’t know, maybe that’s what you were going for, to show that flaw in his character.
One thing that didn’t fit for me was the memories of Regulus and Sirius playing with Bellatrix, Narcissa, and Andromeda. I can see Regulus and Sirius playing together when they were younger, and I can see them playing with Andromeda, but I have a difficult time picturing Sirius playing with Bellatrix and Narcissa. Even if they had just been kids, I don’t think Sirius would have liked Bella and Cissy; I don’t think he would have associated with them by choice like that. Regulus may have, but Sirius…I don’t know, I can’t see it.
I love Regulus’s thoughts about dying, about being remembered for something, etc. They’re so real, and they’re probably along the lines of what Regulus would have been thinking. Because Sirius proved such a disappointment to his parents and the Black family, Regulus had huge shoes to fill, and he probably struggled with being good enough for his entire, if short, life. His stealing of the Horcrux was his one, last, final act in his life.
I want to mention your writing in general for a bit here. It’s very refreshing, almost, because it’s so clear. Nothing feels overwritten, but nothing feels too simple, either. It flows very nicely, and you’ve got a great handle on grammar and all the technical aspects. That’s just always fabulous to see, because well-crafted writing and a good story combine to make a really great fic. There’s one line in particular that I loved in this: By choosing to take the locket, he knew he would die physically, but if he did change, if, like the rain, his soul had a cleansing, then a part of him would still live; he wouldn’t completely die. It’s sort of like a throwback to the Horcrux idea, because the locket does actually contain a portion of Voldemort’s soul. It’s almost like saying that a literal part of Regulus will survive, that somehow he’s creating his own ‘Horcrux’ by destroying Voldemort’s. I may reading something into this that you’d not intended, but that just struck me as quite poignant.
So overall, I really enjoyed this and thought you wrote Regulus very well. I may have to check out more of your writing in the future!
i liked it
it was diffrent but good
that is the first fic ive read that has to do with Regulus at all
i give it a 155% ; )
Author's Response: Oh, thanks so much for the review, Violet JC. I'm superbly thrilled that you liked it.
Your first time reading Regulus, you say? Well, it was my first time even writing the younger Black brother (I usually spend more time with Sirius, to be honest), but for some reason, Regulus just seemed to work out with this piece. And I've grown attached to him quite a bit recently ... Anything to do with members of the Black family, really ...
Anyway, thanks once again for the review.
wow... i have to say that i loved this story ...my favorite line was
And that was how the young man felt: He felt like he wanted to forget (or remember, he was not quite sure), and so he entered this room, falling into the nearby wing-backed chair.
i loved how u said that he wanted to forgot (or remember)... it sets off the moood of the story...it ws just great hun:)
Author's Response: Oh, thank you so very much, amzing. I'm thrilled to hear that you enjoyed it.
And that was your favourite line, you say? I liked that one too; it portrayed the confusion I needed the young Black to feel.
Some of the lines you wrote in there were very poetic, but I think sometimes the description got a little too wordy. Don't feel bad, though, since I have the same problem.
Author's Response: Yeah, I felt the same way with some of the description, to be honest ... and wordy descriptions have always been a bit of a bane of mine.
But, overall, I'm glad you liked it, and thank you for the review, LOTRandHPnut.