Nicely written. I can definitely feel his despair.

Whoa - this poem is amazing. *is awed* I love the idea behind it, and I love the way it is portrayed. The beat and rhythm is superb. It's just...astounding. I cn't believe how well it flows. I also love the word choice and rhyming. It made the entire poem very easy to read, and it all flowed so well.

My favorite part:
As the storm finally breaks,
And the darkness kills the light,
I wish that I were not alone,
As I enter the final fight.

*loves* That part is amazing. Just...wow. I love the imagery and the emotions portrayed. So well done.

I hope there's some way that I will,
But for her my life I'd give.

The first line in that part just seems a little off-beat (I could be wrong)...I think it'd be fine if you just deleted 'that' from it.

Otherwise, fantastic job.

Kate

Author's Response: Thank you so much for reviewing, and what a lovely review it was. I am very grateful for your imput.