A petite, raven haired woman sat up a wooden log, idly playing on a lyre. - this line confused me, which isn’t good, as it is the first.
Otherwise, the worst you did was drop a few commas. I think this was a really interesting idea - the words you used gave it the element of magic. The language, the order. I liked the poem in the middle, it was a nice touch.
I’ll look out for more from you :)
Author's Response: Thanks for the review! Never been told the first line is confusing before, but I'll take a look...Thanks again!
I loved this story when I read it. I feel you really captured the feelings of this moment! great job!!! Cyns
Author's Response: Thanks Cyns. You know my fondness of the Arthurian legends better then anyone!