MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!

Name: ginnyrulz13 (Signed) · Date: 07/01/08 16:12 · For: Chapter 1
that was such a fantastic fic!! i loved and it! i got caught up reading and didnt feel at all bored, like some other fics i've read! the ending kinda left me hanging, though. i would have loved it if he asked her to coffee!

Name: truelight (Signed) · Date: 06/17/08 12:49 · For: Chapter 1
this is a good story, lets see more please, because it has some sense in that Jk has in writting for this couple.

Name: Haley Lupin (Signed) · Date: 03/23/08 14:32 · For: Chapter 1
Whoa. I wrote a story SOMEWHAT like this, but not half as good...[read the reviews for other Remus/Tonks stories and you'll see my name...along with a very nice comment!]

Author's Response: Thanks!

Name: shewolf2000 (Signed) · Date: 10/31/07 21:59 · For: Chapter 1
cute story!

Author's Response: Thanks!!

Name: tonkzie (Signed) · Date: 10/15/07 12:17 · For: Chapter 1
brilliant, i think you should write more! well done!

Author's Response: Thank you!

Name: miss padfoot (Signed) · Date: 07/31/07 9:48 · For: Chapter 1
Ah, Remus/Tonks. =) I’ve always had a soft spot for this pairing in canon, and so this fic made an immensely enjoyable read to me. I liked it especially because Remus doesn’t fall for Tonks or vice versa at their very first meeting. Love takes its time to grow, and you showed that perfectly. Here, Remus is concerned for his friend’s cousin’s daughter, and while that concern turned into love later, you don’t show it right from the beginning. I loved the subtle romance there. =)

Remus Lupin yawned loudly as he sat down at the kitchen table.

I liked how you started the fic off with a simple sentence. I’m glad you didn’t find the need to use extravagant descriptions or fancy words just for the sake of it; it makes the reading more enjoyable this way when I don’t have to run to a dictionary every few minutes. XD I’m also glad you maintained the same tempo throughout, making it quite easy to read while at the same time, not taking anything away from the fic. =)

In a fic with so many relatively minor characters, I can’t help but comment on the characterisation. ;) I think all of the characters were written exceptionally well, right from Hestia being the one who made the newbies feel welcome to Moody who's as good as we see him in canon, you gave them each personalities and nailed them all down accurately.

I’d like to comment on Moody separately though. Simply put, I loved your Moody. He’s so close to the Moody in canon that it really is hard to distinguish between the two. Here, especially:

His magical eye looked every which way at Remus, making sure the werewolf wasn’t ready to eat him. Once he felt that Remus was fine, he sat down next to him.

*giggles* Typical Mad-Eye.

Right from his entry to his idea of a pleasant conversation being uncomfortable to his whisperings during the meeting, you portrayed him perfectly, dear.

One thing though: Tonks mentioned Mad-Eye being her teacher, but didn’t Mad-Eye retire way back? He’s always referred to as the “ex-Auror” so I wondered how he was her teacher.

Oh, and Remus. I liked how your Remus isn’t the melancholy-filled-bitter person we see so often in both fanon and canon. I’m glad you showed him loosening up a little bit. =) The poor guy needs a break. Although, at some points in the fic, I felt rather like Remus was a bit too carefree at times, like when he nearly dozed off during the meeting. To me, he felt a bit like Marauder!Remus, not adult!Remus, you know? Could be just me, though. XD

And I have a few nitpicks, please don’t hate me! Well, mostly, they were just typos so I guess it’s okay. =)

The apothecary he had been working had realized he was the werewolf professor — soon after, his landlord asked him to leave.

I think this sentence feels more complete if you added “for” after “working”. Also, I have a feeling that the flow of that sentence will improve if you put it this way instead:

The apothecary he had been working for had realized he was the werewolf professor -- soon after which his landlord asked him to leave.

The only change I made was to add “which”. Quite stylistic, though.

They seem to believe lie that is twisted out for them.

I believe there needs to be an article “the” before “lie” here.

“Lupin, what have you been up?” asked Moody gruffly.

There needs to be a “to” after “up”, otherwise the sentence is kind of left hanging.

It must have been so depressing growing up in a place like.

Similarly, here, there needs to be a “this” after “like”.

“I still don’t why your parents never bought you a broom,” said Peter.

I believe there’s a word missing here, after “don’t” – something like “don’t know” or “don’t understand”?

Tonks reminded her so much of himself when he first joined the Order.

I think you meant ‘him’, right? *giggles*

Enough nitpicking now!

Oh, the end was absolutely fabulous.

Maybe next time he would ask her.

I loved how Remus doesn’t ask her out on their first meeting, but still, he would ask her. *happy sigh* Remus and Tonks are just so cute together!

Overall, thanks for such a refreshing read, dear! *huggles*

Author's Response: Thank you so much! Your review made my day.

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